A Girl Like Lovegood
by Lady Cailan
Summary: When Draco returns to Hogwarts several months after being betrayed by Pansy and Blaise's one night stand, he struggles between hating and forgiving his closest friends. And when Blaise focuses his attentions on the most unlikely of girls -Luna Lovegood- Draco discovers much more about what he wants from life and how to truly forgive.
1. Betrayal

_I know, I know…all of you who've read my other offerings are wondering why this is a Draco and Luna story. Well, I'm going to tell you. Last year, I wanted to write for EvilAlice's Deflowering Draco Fest on LJ. Unfortunately, I ended up starting this and realizing it was much too long for me to subject to the readers of a fest like that one – just too many chapters. But I really liked where this was going and I didn't want to re-write it using another female character in the Harry Potter universe. I am only now posting it as I took a long break from it to finish Crimson. I realize it is not my usual subject matter but I hope you enjoy it all the same. It is Hogwarts era romance between Luna and Draco but as you will soon see, it is far different from what I had intended when I began writing it for last year's fest._

_Enjoy!_

_LCailan_

* * *

_**Betrayed**_

"_Shattered legs may heal in time, but some betrayals fester and poison the soul." – George Martin_

* * *

_March_

It felt like a swift, hard kick to the gut.

Draco wasn't sure if he could even take a breath. Though he knew he lived a rather charmed life with few disappointments and less than pleasant moments, this - this...he wasn't used to. Not this odd, pain-sick feeling that snaked through him, slithering icily along his insides, making him want to scream both with indignation and with a bit of heartsickness.

Pansy gazed at him, her blue-violet eyes turbulent with regret, shame and anger.

"Draco-"

Her voice was feeble; it was unusual because Pansy Parkinson was a girl possessed of strength. It was one of the reasons Draco had fancied her. But in the face of the clarity of pain she had caused him, she was unable to be forceful.

He tried to take a breath; he was wheezing as he took a step back, those horrid words echoing in his mind like a terrible record.

_It-it was with Blaise, Draco. I...it just happened. It didn't have to anything to do with you and me._

She could have said she had eloped with Argus Filch and Draco wouldn't have been more shocked.

She had cheated on him - and not only that but with-

Once more that sickly feeling churned in his belly but Draco refused to retch. He wouldn't let Pansy see how much she meant to him or how much her betrayal had rocked his world.

_Whore._

She was a whore behind closed doors just like every other pureblooded witch her age! They had rules to follow and reputations to upkeep but when they were alone with a bloke they fancied -

_She should have fancied me! I'm a MALFOY. I'm her boyfriend!_

He wanted to sob.

_I WAS her boyfriend._

Oh, she was a whore and perhaps worse than _that_. But she was what Draco's father wanted for him - what any father from an old, pureblood family line wanted for their son. And she wasn't like some of the other girls from old wizarding families.

Pansy was as equally beautiful, funny and intelligent as she was manipulative, presumptuous and haughty. Draco had liked all those qualities as much as he hated them but he had especially adored the moments they had shared. Their moments alone over the last six months had shown Draco that Pansy had a different side - she could be warm, gentle and loving. He knew that her feelings for him ran deep; he had always been aware of her silent devotion.

_A whole lot of hippogriff shit that devotion got me. What happened to that girl who followed me around when we were First Years? What happened to the girl who adored me? Did she ever exist? Was I that much of a blinded fool?  
_

Pansy was still gazing up at him from long, dark lashes, her lips pressed together in an appropriate pout. That was the thing about Pansy - she knew how to act. She knew how to be the proper girlfriend, what to laugh at and how to talk. She knew when to apologize and when to pander. When to be sweet and when to be sultry.

And Draco had fallen for all of it. What teenaged boy wouldn't have?

"Draco, I'm sorry."

He said nothing, staring stonily at her, his face a mask of nothingness. He was like ice.

She reached to touch him and he flung her off in one, jerking motion. Her fingers were soft and cool but Draco mentally vowed this moment would be the last time he would allow Pansy to touch him.

Now, he'd never know if she was truly sorry or if her regret - just like much of their relationship - was just keeping up appearances. Pansy was good at the game and so was Draco. He hadn't cared at the beginning of the school year, when they had been King and Queen of Slytherin House, when his life as the most popular boy at Hogwarts with Pansy Parkinson on his arm had been perfect! She could have played whatever game she wanted then and he wouldn't have given a piss.

But now - now...

_You whore! _

His mind screamed those things he would never be able to speak out loud.

_You bleeding tart! I hate you. I LOATHE THE SODDING SIGHT OF YOU!_

But he didn't - he _couldn't_ - because it was difficult to reset one's heart, wasn't it? And he had fancied her as much as any boy who had fallen in love for the first time could. And she was just like him - a mirror image. And she had betrayed-

"Draco, it wasn't you! I swear to Merlin, it wasn't you! Blaise, he-"

Draco motioned for her to stop and Pansy fell silent, her breathless plea dying in the stale, morning air.

"Leave me alone."

"Draco, I-"

"Are you deaf? Haven't you done enough damage?"

_I hate you! I hate you! _

But none of that inner rage marred the outwardly cool expression in his gray eyes. Pansy helplessly reached out towards him once more but Draco stepped back, looking disgusted.

"Go. You wanted him; now you can have him."

"I don't want him!"

There was a heated moment of silence between the two, filled with pain and disappointment. Then Draco stalked past her without another glance.

"Fine, I'll go."

Then he left the Slytherin Common Room, Pansy's painful protests ringing in his ears.

* * *

The numbness of being so suddenly blindsided lasted all but a day.

But soon after, two worries weighed on Draco heavily. The first was that he was a Malfoy and certainly the whole school would soon know what had happened. Being that he was the King of Slytherin (despite being betrayed by Blaise Zabini) and Pansy was the most popular girl in his House, he believed that the news of their breakup would be school-wide news.

Much to his relief (and slight surprise) life went on as usual. There were no whispers and stares as he went from class to class and he was almost immediately able to hold his head high in spite of his broken heart. And he learned so long as he held his head high no one suspected that he had been hurt and Draco could pretend all was right in his world. If there was one thing he was good at it was keeping up appearances, after all. Malfoys did not show feelings or dwell on emotion.

Draco's second concern was his father's involvement in his private life. He knew the elder Malfoy had taken great stock in pairing his son with the only daughter in the Parkinson family. Strangely enough, there was no talk of Pansy in his mother's weekly owl. Nor in the one that followed a week later. There were no Howlers and during the first weekend that he was home, neither his mother nor his father mentioned anything Parkinson related.

Simply put, no one _cared_. It was surprising and relieving and at the same time rather like an odd dream he couldn't wake from.

Very quickly Draco learned that Pansy hadn't lied to him. He hadn't believed her when she had told him she didn't want Blaise. But for weeks afterwards, Pansy disappeared, hiding Merlin knows where, while Blaise moved on to his next conquest – a 7th year in Ravenclaw House.

Pansy Parkinson was left all alone and Draco almost felt sorry for her in spite of the stinging memory of her betrayal. But that betrayal had not flowered into any other relationship for Pansy. Still, in the end, Draco decided that his romance with her had only been important to him. She had not given a toss, Blaise had moved on, his parents had other things on their minds and life went on as usual. And so Draco made a vow.

_I'll simply forget it ever happened. I'll go on with my life, my day, and my relationships like nothing's changed._

Such a decision was balm to Draco's wounded heart. At least if he didn't think about it he could pretend that it hadn't happened. He could nurse his broken heart in secret, where only he would know the truth. He would hold his head up high and continue to be the most popular boy in school and he would treat his "friends" like he always had – with a distant contempt.

_Nothing has to change._

Except that everything _would _change and no one would know until it happened.

Old hurts were slow to die and forgiveness was not always easy. Unspoken words needled the mind and left no room for closure. Hidden resentments bred jealousy which bred hatred. And soon, a new eye would offer a new perspective and a window to a life Draco never thought he would want to have.

But change was inevitable.


	2. A New Year

_I debated whether or not to write a good, solid relationship between Pansy and Draco and in the end, I decided it would be a better story if I did so. I enjoy writing Pansy and I hope that as this story continues and I weave Luna into their relationship that you will enjoy the outcome. Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites; I always do appreciate them._

_LCailan_

* * *

_**2. A New Year**_

"_It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." – William Blake_

* * *

_Six Months Later_

_September_

The start of the school year had begun usually enough. The trip to Hogwarts had been without incident and the following afternoon most of the students found themselves basking in the late summer sunlight, trying to enjoy whatever remnants of warmth they had left before holiday was truly over and studies would begin. No one took the first week of lessons serious anyway excepting bookworms like Hermione Granger, creeps like the Creevey brothers or chumps like Longbottom. And any good Slytherin knew that those sort amounted to very little.

Draco sat on one of the stone benches in the Transfiguration courtyard watching Crabbe and Goyle play a particularly boring game of Exploding Snap on a slab of cobbled cement a few feet away. Across the courtyard he spied Pansy Parkinson and the Greengrass sisters hitching up their school uniform skirts in an attempt to sun their legs. It was too early in the school year for their knee-high socks and so all the boys around them had a tantalizing, full view of leg and thigh. Pansy and Daphne were generally inseparable and Astoria, two years behind them in lessons, aspired to be as popular as the older two girls.

Draco was holding a book in his lap but had long ago mastered the art of watching them without being noticed. He hated the fact that Pansy still made him look, in spite of what she had done to him just six months earlier.

_Tart._

He looked away, refocusing his attentions on the boring game before him, pretending like he didn't want to miss a moment. The dispassionate look of boredom had come in quite handy for him because in that way he was able to glance at the girls casually every few moments but would not appear as creepy as some of the more unfortunate blokes around him. In spite of his ability to hide it, Draco found himself agitated and infuriated at being the poor sap that was hung up on a girl that was clearly not good enough for him. Even if she _was_ the most popular and attractive girl in Slytherin House, damn her.

Although Pansy had quickly moved on from him and he had been happy enough to pretend like nothing had happened, Draco hadn't quite let go of their past. He had enjoyed being the King of Slytherin, with one of the most popular girls in the school on his arm and had relished the feeling of knowing that half the male students at Hogwarts would have murdered to be in his place - for a chance to be close to Pansy everyday.

_That's all over, Draco. Why can't you sodding let it go?_

He was angry – still angry -months later. To keep up appearances, Draco had ignored Pansy's apologies, her owls and her pleading that they talk about what happened. He had just…gone back to the way things were before he had asked her on a date, simply joining her and his other friends one morning, discussing final exams.

And Pansy had complied. In fact she had more than happily moved on with Theodore Nott at the beginning of the summer holidays, owling Draco the good news.

_Good news, Merlin's ass._

He had sent her a perfunctory owl in return, giving his congratulations. It was, after all, the polite thing to do. And Draco would not act like he cared; she had already broken his heart and he refused to allow Pansy to break his pride. She had moved on and he still wanted her but that didn't mean she needed to know.

Draco was startled out of his increasingly brooding thoughts by a loud whoop.

Theo Nott had flown into the courtyard on his broomstick most likely to impress his girlfriend who looked up at him, waved and blew him a kiss before turning to Astoria and giggling as she whispered something in her ear. Draco pulled his gaze away from the two attractive Slytherin females and focused instead on Theo Nott and how bleeding unfair it was that Pansy was possibly (Draco wasn't sure) shagging a bloke who wasn't half the man a Malfoy was!

Draco didn't even want to think about how they had gotten to that place. The whole thing made no sense. Pansy had betrayed Draco's trust by shagging Zabini and then hurried to move on with Nott. And he had been left with nothing – not even a glimpse of her knickers! For all the whispers about how hot and heavy Draco and Pansy's relationship had been, they had never once slept together. Although she was quite good at playing a flirtatious tart, behind closed doors Pansy had refused to give up her virtue, as all good, pureblooded girls were supposed to do.

Except she had dumped Draco only to fuck Blaise and now…probably Theo.

He felt sick to his stomach and just as Crabbe let out a strange, strangled sound upon losing his latest game to Goyle, the doors to the castle opened behind them and Blaise Zabini strolled out into the courtyard as if summoned magically by Draco's thoughts. He walked with a measured gait, slowly, turning his head as he spied his friends sitting around on the benches.

_Just bloody wonderful._

Draco scowled realizing that within a span of moments he was starting to be surrounded by a group of saps he found generally insufferable. Theo Nott was one thing but Zabini was a whole different story.

He knew the dark-skinned Slytherin better than most of the others in his House simply because their fathers worked together and donated money to the same charitable and pathetic causes. And Draco could tell Zabini's strut, his laugh, his measured smile and every single move he made was done for the benefit of the swooning female population at Hogwarts.

Zabini was the master of manipulation.

He was on the to do list of every hot blooded female at Hogwarts.

The reason that he and Pansy had broken up.

The perpetually single bloke whose bed was never without a warm, female body. And it didn't matter whose body it was, did it?

_It didn't matter that he was fucking his best friend's girlfriend._

Draco hated him. He was a pretentious, condescending wanker with no true moral compass. Unfortunately the dilemma was a simple one: it was hard to hate Blaise Zabini because most blokes wanted to be him.

And that was the worst thing of all.

Draco knew from years of being told over and over that jealousy was not becoming to anyone. He knew better but at the same time it couldn't be helped. How could a sixteen year old boy not be jealous of someone who had stolen his girlfriend from him?

It just wasn't possible.

Just as everyone gathered around Blaise, talking and laughing, Draco slipped away, a dark scowl on his face.

* * *

The din in the Great Hall was at a fever pitch; it was always this way at the start of fall term. Draco's lip curled up in a sneer as he watched Pansy from across the table later that night. Her eyes widened in shock as her face flooded with color. She tried to look indignant but Pansy often had trouble with more genteel emotions and she wasn't a girl that happened to be virginal or inexperienced. Nevertheless it never stopped her from trying.

"Draco, you don't just come out and ask a girl who she's shagging!"

Draco pushed away from the wooden table, struggling between anger and resignation at her refusal to admit that she was sleeping with Theo.

"I just did," he replied blithely. "What's it matter? We've dated and now we've put that tragic mess behind us, haven't we? Why shouldn't I know?"

Pansy shook her head and Draco felt a bit of triumph at how upset she looked at how he had dismissed their relationship.

She picked at her food for a moment.

"Two months ago you didn't give a piss about me at all. You walked away from me; you ignored my owls so I hardly believe you suddenly care. Besides, I don't talk to my male friends about who I'm sleeping with."

Draco scowled as he picked at his cooling jacket potato. No way would Pansy _ever_ be his friend, no matter how many times he said that word.

"So, it hasn't always been that way, has it? How long did we dance around the idea of us being together? Haven't you thought about shagging me at all, ever? Did you shy away from telling me who you liked and didn't like before we were together? I hardly think that now things are different, Pansy. It isn't like I haven't seen glimpses of most of your bits, is it?"

Pansy had no answer to that and Draco took some satisfaction from having left her speechless.

"And anyway, one never knows anything unless one asks."

Pansy glared at him and ran her hand through her hair in a rather self-conscious way. Draco laughed and it made her even more irritable.

"There are questions that shouldn't be asked, Draco! Stop acting like you're jealous!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're jealous that things didn't work out. I wanted to talk to you about that but you didn't want to!"

"I'm not jealous!"

"Oh, really? You're practically forcing me to tell you the ins and outs of my sexual relationships!"

"Well, maybe it's not too little to late, yeah? If I had been interested six months ago maybe you wouldn't have cheated on me!"

Draco's bitter words caused Pansy to blush guiltily.

Their words had grown a bit louder and attracted the attention of several other Slytherin students. Under their watchful and curious gazes, Draco relented, never wanting the school to know how Pansy had affected him. He had a reputation to uphold, after all.

He rolled his eyes.

"You know what? I don't know what I was thinking; I'd rather keep my supper down than imagine you shagging Theo's bony ass."

Pansy covered her irritated with a cough and shot him an angry look but, before she could say anything in reply, the doors to the Great Hall opened and Blaise Zabini walked in as if he owned the world. As he looked around with a confident expression Draco attempted not to gag on his vegetables. Apparently the imagine of Theo's bony ass wasn't going to be the only thing making him physically ill.

Pansy smirked at her friend's expression, gloating in her own little victory.

"Ah, more jealousy, yes?"

"I'm not bloody jealous!"

"I'm sure you're not jealous of Blaise just like you aren't jealous of Theo."

She raised one perfectly arched brow just as Draco rolled his eyes.

"Like I said, I'm not jealous of Blaise. We've put _your_ little mistake behind us."

"Not even if I tell you he's already been caught snogging some girl outside of the Transfiguration corridor? Daphne told me just before lessons broke for the day and we were heading out to get some sun. She's in her year, which makes her as innocent as a lamb, doesn't it?"

Draco scowled just as Pansy had predicted he would do.

"I thought so," she said matter of factly and this made Draco even angrier.

"Like there's any virtue to being a manwhore!"

But as Draco watched his once friend turned nemesis walking towards them he was already drowning in his miserable sea of jealousy. There was no way to get around it. He watched a small gaggle of females follow Blaise as he approached the Slytherin table looking like the hippogriff that swallowed the ferret.

Draco was resigned to the fact that this year would be just like last year and he wanted to bloody weep. Instead of doing that he got up and gathered his books causing Pansy to look up at him curiously.

"I thought you were going to wait until I was finished?"

She pointed to the half-eaten supper on her plate and offered him a small pout. Draco waved her off.

"I can't. I'm allergic to pretentious bastards and every second I spend in this room ensures my untimely death."

Pansy rolled her eyes and abandoned her food to join him. As she stood, Draco noticed a strange look come over her face. At first she looked confused and then a tiny, gleeful grin lit up her pretty face as her eyes were trained on Blaise.

"Is that Loony Lovegood?"

Draco blinked and turned in the general direction of Pansy's gaze.

"Who?"

"You know, that freakish, little blonde from Ravenclaw House. She's a year behind us. There! With Blaise."

For a moment, Draco couldn't see the object of Pansy's sudden curiosity. But then, just as the room cleared a bit, there she was. And Pansy was right; she was with Blaise. Well, she wasn't exactly _with_ him but more like...following him. Her expression was one of dreamy admiration and she was clutching what looked like both of their small stacks books to her nonexistent chest, her odd, rounded eyes trained forward, as if fascinated.

Draco couldn't even begin to ask all the questions that flooded his mind. Why was she with Blaise? What was she doing? What was HE doing? Why was she holding his school books...?

"Merlin," Pansy muttered with disgust. "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with his drama. Last year he shagged Hannah Abbott after that Quidditch game against Hufflepuff and this year he's going after Loony Lovegood? That boy is disgustingly insatiable."

Draco was perturbed and more so than he ever thought he could be by some unmentionable from Ravenclaw House.

"You think _he's_ disgustingly insatiable? About his shag with Hannah Abbott…was that before or after you cheated on me with him?"

Pansy glared at him and he continued, his words cold.

"Face it, Pansy. You're just as bad as him. At least Loony Lovegood is _single_."

Pansy attempted not to look guilty or hurt.

"Blaise wasn't our only problem, Draco."

"Well, he was a huge one, if I recall correctly."

"And you refused to talk to me about any problem - large or small!"

"You CHEATED on me!"

Their voices had grown increasingly louder yet again. Pansy took an irritated breath and rolled her eyes, looking away from Draco who could have killed her with just his gaze.

Pansy studied her nails for a moment and shrugged, dropping their heated row.

"Who cares about Loony? I guess she really _is_ insane. I made that mistake with Blaise and I'll never do it again."

She gave Draco a tense look as they passed Blaise and his entourage. Then when they reached the double doors that led from the Great Hall to the castle corridor she stopped and turned to face her companion. Here the din was significantly lower and she spoke softly.

"There's isn't a good enough excuse to shag a girl like Lovegood."

Draco found the statement only slightly odd given Blaise's obvious record with members of the opposite sex. And the look in Pansy's eyes was unsettled, as if she was almost angry about what had transpired in the Great Hall. But he said nothing and watched as she began to sashay up the stairs and before he followed he tossed a look over his shoulder.

He glimpsed Lovegood's long, wispy hair as she handed Blaise his books and he proceeded to walk away from her without a second glance. There was a momentary expression of bewildered disappointment on the younger Ravenclaw's tiny features and then the doors of the Great Hall fell shut.

Without another thought, Draco hurried after Pansy thinking that Lovegood was just more proof that Blaise Zabini was the world's most pretentious bastard.


	3. Madness

_I wasn't sure how to write Luna; this is my first attempt at getting into her head and so I hope you enjoy it despite the fact that I'm not JKR. (I most certainly am not!). Thanks for your reviews and likes. I appreciate them and welcome comments. _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**3. Madness**_

* * *

"_Off Into the world we go, Planning futures, Shaping years.  
Love, Bursts in, and suddenly All our wisdom Disappears.  
Love Makes fools of everyone: All the rules we make are broken.  
Love changes everyone. Live or perish in its flame.  
Love will never, Never let you be the same." Andrew Lloyd Webber_

* * *

Luna loved alone time. She had to love it; it was something she was very used to.

Having been raised by a father who loved her (but was wrapped up in matters of much importance to the wizarding world) she had gotten used to hours of contemplative silence. Besides, talking to her father, as wonderful as it was, could sometimes be overwhelming. He knew so much about so many things! Luna loved him for it.

After so many years with her father, Luna's acceptance letter to Hogwarts had been a huge life change and not only because it was the first time she had been away from her home. Oh, no. It had been much more than that. Most of the other female students had no idea what it felt like to be pulled from the normalcy of being alone and thrust into a dormitory full of tiny, cramped beds and giggling, squealing girls.

Not that Luna minded any of that. She didn't; she _wanted_ friends. Being friends with her father was nice but it turned out she wanted more. The only problem was that over the years, hard as she tried, Luna could never felt like she belonged.

But not being a girl taken with bemoaning her situation, she decided that not belonging hadn't been a bad thing. It left Luna a lot of time to think and learn. She loved reading; she spent nearly as many hours at the library as her friend, Hermione Granger. She helped Professor Flitwick with lesson plans and sometimes even inquired after Professor Snape's need of an assistant to help him organize his Potions stock. He was never happy to accept but did so anyway. And on the late days of summer at the start of the school year and then again in spring she spent a lot of time in the Herbology greenhouse or down near the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid.

She liked Professor Sprout and Hagrid best; they didn't judge her like some of her classmates (or give her weird eyes like Professor Snape). They taught her loads of things, like what time of the month was best for harvesting Acromantula venom or why the Fanged Geranium was prone to biting humans. And if she had any questions it was always back to the library anyway. It wasn't a bad sort of existence but admittedly it was lonely.

Luna was introspective and quiet but she wasn't stupid; she knew that there were other things in life besides classes, helping teachers and the library. It was just that she wasn't sure exactly how to go about _fitting_ into that other life. And her favorite teachers couldn't help with that, unfortunately.

Luna's sunny face was suddenly clouded by a frown as she stared off into the distance choosing not to think for a few moments. But that never lasted, she knew. Every time she chose to attempt a social life she was met with a rebuff.

There had been that one time over a weekend the previous spring when the girls had been chattering on about the latest dress robes from Madam Malkin's Dress Shop. When Luna had mentioned making her own robes and adding a bit of lace to the sleeves for good luck (as her Nan had taught her) the girls had snickered at her and given her sympathetic looks.

Then there had been the afternoon in the Great Hall when she had vehemently argued the merits of the Centaurs taking over the wizarding world. She hadn't even noticed the looks of annoyance or the mocking whispers of 'Loony's at it again'. All she remembered now was how embarrassing it had been when Seamus Finnigan had called her out on what everyone had called a 'claptrap' theory. Even now, a year later, she was blushing at the thought.

Luna wasn't the sort of girl to concern herself with the latest fashions and makeup like many of the girls in her year. Nor was she charming or flirtatious enough to arouse the interest of any boy except Neville Longbottom, who she suspected liked her only because she was able to tell the difference between the Flitterbloom and Devil's Snare in under a minute. It was a record, to be certain, but it definitely did nothing to rouse the passions of the other boys in her class.

And that was another thing that had begun troubling Luna just this past school year. Feelings for boys. Sure, she had known from Ginny what it meant to like a boy but she herself had never been taken with anyone, especially not Neville, who was a better friend and companion when he wasn't blushing and stumbling on his words to talk to her.

She thought about that for a moment, staring up at the pale blue skies. Were boys always that odd when the liked you? Wouldn't it have been better for a boy just to act like himself? It was at least much more comfortable that way? When a boy liked a girl he acted like he had been attacked by Nargles even though everyone knew that Nargles only lived in mistletoe.

Yes, boys were confusing and Luna had decided she simply didn't have time for them. And then…she had met Blaise Zabini.

Shifting on her side, Luna lay back on the grass in the clearing. It was far enough away from the drawbridge that no one would see her and not so close to Hagrid's that he would grow curious as to what she was doing. Here, she was certain she could sleep if she wanted to.

But Luna couldn't sleep because she was wrapped up in her new found feelings – the same feelings Ginny had whispered to her about when she and Dean had started to date. What was this odd, pleasant twisting in her belly or the happy skipping of her heart? Was it always like this? Luna didn't know but the mere thought of Blaise made her go warm and soft – and she _liked_ how it felt!

The worse part of it all, she realized, was that she couldn't share her feelings with her friends. It was especially disappointing because Luna had wanted to run to Ginny because Ginny would understand. Unfortunately, she was almost positive Harry would be disappointed in her and Hermione would show her disapproval. Neville would probably stop talking to her altogether. After all, Blaise was a Slytherin and he was friends with Malfoy, who was the enemy.

_Who decided they were the enemy? Merlin? _

So she had remained silent, nurturing her secret in her oddly beating heart. Yes, she was afraid that her friends would disapprove and she wouldn't forget what had happened in the Department of Mystery with Draco's father the previous year. Still…

Her heart skipped a beat.

She hated to even think about Blaise because it wasn't as if he had shown her any romantic interest. And come to think of it, she wasn't even certain what romantic interest was! They had spent two weeks of their summer holiday together, talking everyday, laughing and sharing stories. He had owled her several times after (and she had kept each missive, tucking it away into her chest of special things) and even promised her that he would meet her once school had started.

With the excitement of a little girl on Christmas morning (and kicking herself the whole time) she had waited for him on the first day of school but he hadn't made an appearance anywhere – not the Great Hall, not any of the courtyards, not the owlery, or the Quidditch pitch…

More disappointed than she cared to admit, Luna had decided that she simply preferred being alone; it was much easier. No one would ever understand her anyway. Still a tiny part of her was hurt and that part yearned to be noticed by even one of her classmates. Maybe the Blaise thing had just been a mistake. She decided it wasn't worth weeping over.

So she hadn't.

But the first day of classes, Blaise had shown up at the entrance to the Ravenclaw Common Room. And all of her wisdom disappeared.

* * *

Draco lay sprawled out on his messy gray and green sheets reading _Quidditch Today_. He flipped through the glossy pages not really paying attention because his mind was stubbornly pondering the conversation with Pansy in the Great Hall the week before. Not to mention the oddity of Loony Lovegood following Zabini around like an unnecessary extra appendage.

He had asked some of his other housemates but none of them knew when and why Lovegood had become the newest member of the Blaise Zabini Fan Club. Draco suspected that he would have to ask the sod himself if he wanted the answer even though he doubted Zabini would actually tell him, smug bastard that he was.

Either way, Draco knew the gnawing irritation in his lower belly would not go away, no matter what the answer was. As he flipped yet another page in his magazine he heard footsteps coming up the stone stairway and a moment later Zabini stepped into the wide dormitory, as if he owned the world.

He flashed a million-dollar smile that made Draco want to curse something.

"Malfoy."

"Zabini."

The magazine was forgotten as Draco swung his legs over the edge of the bed and adopted a casual stance.

"Took you long enough in the Great Hall today…actually pretty much everyday. Having trouble managing you ever-growing fan club? I noticed a few rather unfortunate new members last week."

Zabini laughed at Draco's comments and then glanced at himself in the mirror by his bed, smoothing a nonexistent misplaced hair.

"You mean Luna?"

Draco did a double take. He had expected scathing words and at the very least, derision. But there Zabini was, actually calling Lovegood by her...real name. Still, Draco maintained only casual interest.

"No, I meant Grubbly-Plank," he quipped with a well-practiced eye-roll.

Zabini flung himself gracefully on his perfectly made green sheets and sighed with contentment.

"You're quite funny, Malfoy. Why haven't I shagged you yet?"

"I'm too good for you."

The two laughed although the tension between them was still palpable. It had been there for months now and not even summer holiday had dissipated it.

Blaise gave Draco an odd look.

"Do you really believe that, mate? After all, I'm not the one that's monitoring your every movement. Are you always _this_ aware of who I'm chumming around with?"

Draco knew that Zabini was looking for a fight he could win but there was no way he would offer any sort of satisfaction. Instead, he shrugged.

"But Loony? Did you fuck your way through every female in Slytherin House so soon? Were my sloppy seconds not satisfying?"

Zabini laughed and then glanced at Draco with eyes that did not mirror the sound of his laughter.

"Quite satisfying if you must know. I've had that and then a few," he said evenly. "But I'm not sleeping with Luna. She's just a friend."

Draco stared at his housemate incredulously.

"If you expect me to believe that..."

"I don't expect you to believe anything," Zabini snapped rolling over on his back and shoving his hands behind his head. "In fact, I'd really rather you piss off."

Draco smirked to himself. For the first time since they had arrived the week before, Zabini seemed irritated and the blond Slytherin took a few moments to relish that fact.

A lengthy silence passed between the two boys as Draco studied his fingernails nonchalantly.

"You really should watch who you're seen with, Zabini. All those notches in your bedpost won't mean shite if you lower your standards."

Zabini offered an amused snort.

"Jealous, Malfoy?"

"Of you and Loony Lovegood? Hardly. I don't fuck losers."

Blaise tensed.

"Neither do I."

The boys glared at one another before Zabini clenched his jaw.

"Nosy Ferret."

"Randy bastard."

Finally, Zabini relented, rolling his eyes in a dismissive sort of way.

"Fine, Malfoy. The truth is I failed Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology last term. My mother was bloody furious and she told me she'd take away my Quidditch privileges if I didn't bring up my marks. Luna happens to be brilliant at both."

His dark eyes swiveled from right to left as if Zabini was making sure no one else would hear of his failings. It wouldn't do for the student body to know that Blaise Zabini was not as perfect as he acted.

Draco laughed.

"That's rich. You're using her then?"

"I'd wager to say it's mutually beneficial, mate."

The confidence was back as if it had never gone.

"She helps me with my studies and I...allow her to be seen with me. Sort of like paying for friendship, yeah?"

It was odd but suddenly Draco felt almost...bad for the Ravenclaw. He reminded himself to try and stop that as soon as possible but in the meantime...

"You said it yourself; Loony Lovegood is no fool. She'll see right through you. Pity, you'll have to do your own work for once," he finished smugly.

Zabini laughed at this.

"You just don't understand women, do you Malfoy? Give them a compliment, toss them a smile and they'll do anything for you," he replied with confident grin. "She's a brilliant tutor and she sneaks me sweets from the kitchens."

Blaise was smiling with self-satisfaction.

"She carries my books and -get this- she's done my laundry!"

Draco stared, wide-eyed, at Zabini's expression of complete amusement.

"We have house elves for that!"

"Right, but when she does my shirts they always smell like mint and vanilla. She does a much better job than those creepy-looking elves."

Draco was still in shock.

"You've _Imperioused_ her!"

"I've only given her what she craves - my attention," he replied condescendingly. "Besides, she's not _that_ bad."

Zabini and Malfoy regarded each other for a moment before the dark-haired boy stood, running a hand through his perfectly groomed coif.

"Try it sometime, won't you? It might do wonders for your sex life." he said with a knowing wink before sauntering out of the room the way he had come, leaving Draco bitter and incredulous.

"Try it sometime," he mocked under his breath, scowling.

He didn't believe Zabini; there simply had to be another reason besides his attention why Lovegood, of all people, was all of a sudden enamored with him.

And Draco aimed to find out what that reason was.

* * *

Later that day, Luna sat facing the hillside towards Hagrid's large and lopsided hut in the valley near the Forbidden Forest. The sun was starting to set above her and she had brought with her an apple and three slices of cheese. She lay these down on a white handkerchief and plucked her wand from a robe pocket using it to slice the apple into perfectly even sections.

She hated eating in the Great Hall unless she had to; they always made fun of her. Eating her meal in the great outdoors seemed a much more favorable option. As she chewed the sweet and salty combination of apples and cheese, Luna found herself smiling.

She was once again lost in the daydream that was Blaise Zabini. She missed his company and the meals they had snuck off to enjoy during the summer. Luna offered up a happy sigh. Just like everything else about her life, she knew no one would understand or appreciate the connection she shared with Blaise.

They had met over the holidays, in Scotland, over a four week study program that focused on Magical plants and creatures. Professor Sprout had recommended that Luna attend as a teacher's assistant and Blaise had been there because his marks the previous school year had been less than acceptable.

They had hit it off instantly. In fact, Luna thought that talking to Blaise was a bit like rekindling a long lost friendship that she didn't even know had existed! She had learned that life held an abundance of delightful, little surprises and her friendship with Blaise was no exception.

The sun looked brilliant on the canvas of the fading day and Luna cleared her mind of worries and dreamy thoughts for a few moments to watch as it moved along the sky slowly. But her thoughts were never far from her mind and she was soon lost in them once again.

Luna knew Blaise Zabini was a prat; she had always known that. She had written him off as rubbish mostly because of the snide comments made by Ron and Hermione and Harry's worries that he was Draco Malfoy's best mate. Though she hadn't really known him, anyone could see that Blaise possessed a conceited, self-serving and cruel streak. He thought of himself first and everyone else after. And everyone at Hogwarts was well aware of his playboy reputation, though that never seemed to stop any of the girls from whispering and giggling about him long after they were in bed. He had always been the one boy too popular to worry about classes and too handsome to date anyone who wasn't in Slytherin House. He had been the one boy whom everyone covered for so he got away with things that no one else did. And it hadn't been fair, not really.

No, she hadn't esteemed him at all. It had been better that way, Luna knew. She didn't really want to have these weird feelings floating around her belly when she thought of him.

But it couldn't be helped because that summer she had seen a different side to Blaise Zabini. And despite her initial misgivings and the fact that he was a prat, Luna had found herself liking him. He was charming in a funny sort of way. He had been thoughtful - more thoughtful than she had first believed he could be. But most importantly he had made Luna feel like somebody, which was more than she could say about most of the other students at Hogwarts. For that, she had forgiven him all his faults.

Luna bit into her cheese thoughtfully.

_Gods, I wish I could talk to Ginny about these feelings! I wish I knew how Blaise felt! Could he…maybe be interested in a girl like me? _

Nothing answered her but the sound of the breeze and a distant hooting of an owl.

_It's worth it_, she decided.

He wasn't so bad and if she had to pick up his books or mend his shirts once in awhile it didn't seem such a bad exchange for his friendship. Oh, she knew that some would call it bizarre, perhaps pathetic even. But it simply didn't matter because Luna finally had someone she could call a friend.

And she wanted friends because her life, although not unpleasant, was lonely. Oh, sure, she had her teachers and some of the animals on the grounds but it wasn't the same. She wanted someone she could hold.

Once more her mind was occupied with thoughts of a tall, dark and handsome Slytherin boy…

* * *

Draco hadn't believed Zabini at first. After all, what girl in their right mind would go as far as doing someone else's wash in return for friendship? It was beyond mental and definitely laughable. But at the end of the third week of term Draco wasn't laughing anymore.

Luna Lovegood had gone completely barmy.

And Draco admitted, albeit grudgingly, that Zabini had been right.

She followed him around like a lovesick pet kneazle. In the mornings she would wait for him by the dungeon steps. Between classes she would follow him to and fro, often times holding some sort of treat or a small bag of his favorite sweets. She would smile; she would hold his books. She was his veritable, fucking slave. And in the evenings, more often than not, a freshly pressed, vanilla and mint scented shirt or school robe would be hanging by the drapes near his bed.

And that voice! It grated on Draco's nerves in a way he hadn't thought possible. It was higher pitched, soft and girlish. Sweet with innocence. Caked with happiness. And frosted liberally with stupidity.

'Blaise, maybe tomorrow we can...'

or

'I saw something in one of my books yesterday that you might...'

No matter what she said it always sounded syrupy with a touch of hopeful. It was bloody, downright sickening.

There was no doubt about it; Loony Lovegood had finally lived up to her name.

Draco was perturbed for more than one reason. Firstly, he couldn't wrap his mind around the sodding idea that anyone would treat Zabini like a king. And secondly, he was a bit disturbed by the fact that he was bothered by it.

_Why? _

Luna meant nothing to him; she never had. In fact, up until two weeks before, Draco hadn't even noticed her! That was the thing about Luna: it was as if she had borrowed Potter's Invisibility Cloak (everyone new he had one) and never taken it off. She was the girl no one noticed.

Except that now... she was everywhere and he couldn't ignore her. She lurked around corners wearing her stupid, eager smile. She sat nearby at the Great Hall during meals and Draco could have sworn on Merlin's grave that he hadn't seen her there before. At least not regularly. She hung out in the dungeons helping Snape organize his Potion storeroom.

Fucking Snape of all people! It was maddening!

Even after hours, when all the Slytherin students had retired to their dormitories or the common room for the night, there she was, Zabini's constant shadow, doing his homework for him, matching up his socks and chattering away about nothing without noticing that he wasn't paying attention. And all Zabini had to do was wink at her, offer her a meaningless compliment or ruffle her white-blond hair and she melted.

Literally fucking melted through the floorboards wearing that lovesick smile.

Draco had certainly met plenty of losers in his life but Luna Lovegood took the proverbial cake.

Within mere weeks Draco gave up on his plan to find out what Zabini had done to secure Lovegood's undying affection. He hadn't counted on the nausea he got watching Luna moon over a boy who clearly had no real inkling she existed.

Instead, Draco took to waking up before sunrise and spending his mornings in the library to avoid seeing her in the dungeons, waiting for Zabini. He stopped having meals with his usual group of friends so he wouldn't have to see her sending Zabini longing gazes. And he spent most of his evenings doing homework in the dormitory, behind his curtain and on his bed so he wouldn't have to watch her starving for mere crumbs of Zabini's attention.

It was all too disgustingly pathetic and he decided he wanted no part. It wasn't like he cared about Luna Lovegood anyway. In fact, he decided he would simply ignore her so that she would cease to ever be an issue in his life. He would focus on bigger issues like passing his classes and trying to get Pansy Parkinson back. Those things were more important anyway.

What he didn't know was that sometimes the hand of fate placed the most unlikely of people in the most unlikely of places to solve the most impossible of problems.

And he didn't know that in his life, Luna Lovegood would be that person.


	4. Life's Not A Picnic

_I really appreciate the reviews, everyone. This is my first Draco/Luna interaction and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**3. Life's Not a Picnic**_

* * *

"_We're all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding."  
― Rudyard Kipling_

* * *

The first Quidditch game of the year dawned gray and dreary, the clouds burdened by the weight of an imminent rainstorm. The school was atwitter with excitement and the stands were bursting with students cheering and yelling over the magically magnified voice of the announcer. Just as Slytherin scored the first goal against Hufflepuff, the skies opened up and wept heavy, wet drops upon the earth. The downpour grew significant but it did not put a damper on the excitement coming from the stands. It did, however, cause the game to be rained out and as Draco flew down towards the field at the sound of Madame Hooch's whistle he saw the majority of girls from his House squealing and lamenting about the rain having soaked them to the bone.

It was an act, of course, put on for the benefit of the males around them and especially Blaise Zabini who was surrounded by a gaggle of females almost upon touching the muddy ground. Draco avoided the growing crowd, flinging mud from his Quidditch robes in disgust and stalking down the field towards the changing rooms. It wasn't like Blaise would give any of those insignificant girls a second glance anyway; they were all pathetic.

As he moved swiftly down a slight slope and passed the small brick building where the players kept their equipment, he looked up.

That's when he saw her.

Lovegood was standing under the protection of the protruding roof of the Quidditch changing rooms just past the equipment room seemingly oblivious to the rain except for a pair of ridiculous looking spectacles with tiny, charmed wipers that kept her vision clear. She had always been small but the garish, yellow slicker she wore made her look even tinier if such a thing was possible. Her ensemble was completed by a pair of orange carrot earrings that dangled almost to her shoulders. Draco couldn't make out any sort of figure beneath the mess of slicker, robes and the huge basket she was clutching to her tiny chest.

Not that he cared. He hadn't seen her since the night he had decided to focus on his life and not Blaise's. But it wasn't like anything had changed.

_Gods, but she's pathetic!_

Luna noticed him but said nothing, simply shifting from one foot to the other and clutching the basket even tighter. She looked around the pitch with an odd expression, as if she wasn't sure where she was. Her hair was lackluster, the rain making it almost as dull as the dishwater used at Malfoy Manor, and it hung in sheets around her thin face, accentuating her eyes which were the queerest shade of gray almost blue.

Draco hadn't even realized that he had stopped to stare at her and she didn't seem to care. As he stared, he realized Luna reminded him of a bird - a little, flittering nervous thing.

_I hate birds_, he decided and brushed past her without a word, head held high.

The locker room was musty but at least it was dry and he quickly used a drying charm on his robes and rubbed his hands together to warm them up. He finished packing up his Quidditch things just as Zabini and the rest of the team trailed into the room, dripping carelessly everywhere.

"Come on, mate! There's going to be a jolly good time in the common room tonight! Hurry up and join us!"

Zabini tossed his stuff carelessly to the side of one of the benches and walked back out of the changing rooms. Draco thought suffering _Cruciatus_ was preferable to watching Zabini hold court with his many female admirers but nevertheless he gathered his rucksack and followed the wet trail out of the building reluctantly.

The rain had slowed down a bit and it now drizzled lightly from the gray sky above. As Draco came around the corner the sight that met his eyes caused him to scowl.

_Bloody hell! So much for avoiding those two!_

Luna stood, gazing up at Zabini with a trembling smile.

"Oh, no, that's all right," she said. "I know you're busy, it's just that I brought all this..."

She held up the basket she had been clutching and Draco wanted to smack her tiny, bird-like face as she trailed off with hesitation, clearly wanting Zabini to change his mind.

"I'll be sure to make it up to you, all right? I've got this...thing tonight with the rest of the Quidditch team...and I've got to drop off an essay for Flitwick and stop by the Owlery to send my Mum a post. You understand, yeah?"

Zabini ruffled her damp hair playfully whilst trying not to openly laugh at the strange spectacles she was wearing. It seemed to be obvious to everyone but Luna how...odd she looked.

Draco rolled his eyes at the obviously miserable look that crossed her face.

"No, it's all right," she agreed clutching her damned basket tightly. "There's always next time."

"That's bloody fantastic," replied the Slytherin as he offered Luna his most charming smile. "I'll be looking forward to it," he added over his shoulder carelessly, giving her a wink.

As he disappeared into the gray mist that had clouded everything around the Quidditch field, laughter could be heard.

The silence that followed seemed almost too loud to Draco and it was odd that neither he nor Luna had moved. She stood there, looking after Zabini with a dumbfounded expression on her pale face. He noticed the long sheets of her dirty blond hair had curled in the rain.

"He's not really that brilliant."

The words slipped out before Draco could stop them, much to his surprise and Luna's as well.

_Bloody Hell, Malfoy! What the piss is wrong with you!? Walk away now; she's mental._

Luna heaved a disappointed sigh that could barely be heard over the whispering drizzle.

"Right."

"He's not. I should know; he used to be one of my best mates."

_Malfoy, what are you doing?! Turn around and start moving._

But Draco's feet refused to do his bidding. It was as if he was determined to prove to someone else that Zabini was a spoiled, conceited prat. He noted immediately that he had chosen the wrong person to prove that fact.

Luna bristled as she stared up at Draco. Strangely enough, it was the only time he had seen any life in her excepting the moments when she was wistfully staring after Blaise sodding Zabini. Another wave of disgust washed over him at that thought and he watched as she removed her glasses to glare up at him with huge, expressive eyes.

"I can't expect you to understand."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Its like you've got this obsession with Zabini. It's the same sort that everyone has with Potter."

He watched her grow increasingly indignant; her cheeks grew pink and her nose crinkled.

"Harry Potter is a wonderful person and one of the greatest wizards I have ever known!"

Draco remained unimpressed.

"Well, like I said…unhealthy obsessions."

Luna's face was bright pink now.

"Well, like _I_ said, I can't expect someone like _you_ to understand."

Then with another disappointed sigh she pushed the basket she had been holding into his hands. Draco stumbled backwards, surprised at its weight.

"What the sodding piss do you have in this thing?" he complained. "Boulders?"

Luna ignored Draco's baiting comments, turned and began walking away from him, pulling out her wand and tucking it behind her ear.

He looked down at the basket in his arms with dissatisfaction. He felt odd...almost unsatisfied. He had wanted a fight; he had wanted to see Loony cry so that he could make fun of her. He had wanted to call her a freak, a pathetic girl who was blinded by lust. He had wanted to tell her she had horrid taste in friends. But...nothing. She had just walked away from him leaving him with a basket full of-

Draco's curiosity got the best of him and he lifted the lid.

Food. A basket full of food. Draco's mouth watered at the feast before his eyes. He saw sandwiches and fruit, a bagful of treats and a plate loaded with mince pie. Further inspection also revealed carefully wrapped chocolate biscuits for dessert. Draco's mouth watered and stomach rumbled at the sight.

The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Don't you want any of this, Loony?"

From the corner of his eye he could see her stop but she didn't turn around.

"My name is _Luna_."

Draco ignored her comment, staring at the food some more.

"It looks bloody delicious."

"I'm not hungry."

There was a pause and the silence was filled with the whispering wind.

"Have some with me. Malfoys do _not_ eat alone."

This time she did turn and the look in her large eyes was one of surprise. She offered a shy, uncertain look.

Draco knew he should have walked away. No company was better than Loony's company, but something stopped him.

* * *

The sky had lightened and the rain had ceased completely during their short conversation. Draco and Luna took the food laden basket up towards the Owlery and found a dry spot there to lay out the generous spread. She said nothing to him as he quickly conjured up a dry blanket and began to unload the basket, placing everything between them, his stomach growling in anticipation.

Though Draco didn't relish the idea of spending time with Lovegood, let alone having an actual conversation with her, soon enough the silence got to be too awkward. There was also the bloody fact that she kept glancing towards the Owlery every few moments and Draco knew who she was looking for.

He spoke in spite of himself though he did not look at her.

"You did this all yourself?" he asked, nodding towards the food.

Luna, who had been staring away from him, glanced in his direction oddly.

"It's just sandwiches, fruit, cheese, pie and some of Blaise's favorite sweets."

For whatever reason, Luna's nonchalance was irritating to Draco and he scowled.

"Pity, I wasn't aware Ravenclaw House had a kitchen," he retorted.

Luna nibbled on some cheese, a very serious look on her pale face.

"Nothing like that." she assured him, missing his obvious sarcasm. "I snuck down to the kitchens with the house elves."

Draco gaped at her.

"You can't do that!" he exclaimed, forgetting that he was hungry and that he didn't want to be having a conversation with her.

"Why not? The elves are my friends."

Draco snorted.

"Elves aren't anyone's friends! They're hired help!"

Luna bristled.

"They are too my friends! After all, I'm the one that can sneak down into the kitchen for food anytime I want, right? You can't do that and neither can any of the other students! And elves aren't just hired help! They have feelings just like you and I!"

Draco found it amusing that Luna's defense of a creature as lowly and creepy as a house elf elicited passion. He couldn't help but smirk as he began to stuff his face full of the delicious food before them.

He spoke between voracious bites.

"What are you going to tell me next, Lovegood? That those vile creatures deserve rights? That they aren't being treated fairly? Isn't that the sort of crazy stuff Granger goes on about?"

Luna's face turned pink.

"They're not vile. And I am very much for elfish welfare. Maybe if you were then they'd let you sneak into the kitchens too."

Draco swallowed, frowning.

"Why would I want to do a bloody thing like that?"

"Well, you certainly enjoy stuffing your face with their offerings, don't you?"

Draco stopped mid-bite and stared down offensively at his second, half-eaten sandwich.

"No, I-"

Luna watched him solemnly and Draco put down his sandwich, gazing down at it with longing. He wanted the food but he didn't want to prove Luna right.

For a while there was nothing but the sound of the breeze and Draco watched as Luna silently arranged a few pieces of fruit and cheese on her plate.

"You eat like a bird," he criticized even though he didn't know what it was about this girl that made him want to even bother.

Luna gave him another strange look.

"As opposed to eating like a wild beast?" she offered pointedly at the mess he had left on his plate.

Draco turned red. Who was this girl - a younger girl and Ravenclaw at that - to say anything scathing about him? It was preposterous and it made Draco shove his plate away abruptly.

"I'm finished."

Luna watched his plate thoughtfully while she took tiny bites of her cheese.

"You left the crusts."

The words indicated quite the obvious and Draco blinked in confusion.

"Come again?"

"The crusts," she said more slowly as if talking to a small child. "You left them on your plate."

Draco stared down at the mess on his plate.

"Who are you to tell me how I'm to eat?"

"I was just pointing out that if you were really finished-"

Draco got to his feet, towering over Luna who stared up at him with a mildly interested look in her eyes.

"You enjoy telling other people what they should do and not do? You want to teach me how to eat, Lovegood? Or try to make me feel bad because I'm not friends with the creepy house elves? Why don't you look in the mirror? Don't you realize that you're the laughing stock of Slytherin House because of your pathetic and very much obvious crush on someone who doesn't know you exist?"

Once more a dark, terrible part of Draco wanted to see her crumble beneath his angry gaze. He liked having control and if people hated or feared him he would always have it.

Luna stared up at him without emotion for a few moments. The fresh breeze ruffled her long hair.

"I realize a lot of things. It's you who won't ever understand."

"I don't want to!"

"So why are you still here?"

There was a cold silence and Draco finally flung up his hand.

"I have no _bloody_ clue but don't worry; I'm about to leave."

He glared at her and even then she did not flinch.

"You're a _nut job_, Lovegood. A veritable _crazy person_. Enjoy spending the rest of your sodding life with the house elves."

He whirled around with the swish of his robes and moved away from the Owlery, his heart beating queerly inside of his chest. When he turned around to glance back in her direction Luna was staring curiously up at the sky as if nothing had happened at all.

_Zabini deserves that barmy bint. Good luck to both of them._

Then he hurried towards the castle in the distance, head held high.


	5. Relashio

_Thank you so much for the positive comments and adds. I really appreciate them all. I also appreciate the constructive comments as I continue on this writing journey. Enjoy! _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**5. Relashio**_

* * *

"_Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."-George S. Patton_

* * *

The following afternoon Hogwarts students littered the well-kept path that led down to the Herbology greenhouses. The sun shone brightly on one of the last warm days before the fall was bound to cool the temperate weather. The Slytherins had double Herbology with the Gryffindors later that afternoon and here and there, flickers of emerald green, red and gold could be seen as students adjusted their scarves from the biting breeze, moving lazily towards their destination.

Draco walked alongside Blaise, matching him stride for stride.

He hadn't dared ask his companion about Luna Lovegood in over a week, afraid that his inquiries would be misconstrued as interest. But seeing her that day at the wet Quidditch pitch and then the lunch they had shared-

_Why the fuck did I have lunch with her?!_

Draco had no answer to his disconcerting question and he was so wrapped up in his troubled thoughts that he wasn't aware of what was happening until Blaise gave him a good, hard shove on the shoulder.

"What the piss, mate? Did your brain go on holiday already?"

Blaise's tone was a mixture of annoyance and amusement; he was not used to being ignored.

Draco stopped walking, turning to shove Blaise in return just as Theo and Pansy joined them, hand in hand. The trio exchanged knowing looks, causing Draco's irritation to rise further.

"What?" he snapped.

Pansy offered a sly smile.

"Where were you yesterday after the rained out match?"

Her warm question was equally balanced by the cool look in her large, violet-colored eyes. Blaise cocked his head at the question, his eyes widening.

"You missed a banging party, you did."

Draco bristled at Blaise's confident tone.

"I don't consider watching you get sloshed on cheap, elf-made whiskey and parading around building yourself up to anyone who will listen as a banging party, Zabini."

Blaise's face darkened.

"Oh, I see. Having din-din with my sloppy seconds up by the Owlery is _much_ better, is it?"

Draco's face froze in shock and he felt color rushing to his cheeks. Pansy laughed, her eyes dancing.

"Don't try to deny it, Draco. I know how your mind works. It's too late; Daphne saw you with Loony Lovegood."

Any words, any denials froze on Draco's pale lips as he stared at his friends, dumbfounded. He could have run, he supposed, but that wasn't the Malfoy way. It wasn't like he was amidst adversaries; these were his sodding friends, for bleeding Christ's sake!

He shrugged off the chuckling around him, holding his head high as he shot Blaise the most loathing look he could muster.

"She had a basket filled to the brim with your favorite food, you wanker," he snarled finally. "I was taking it off her hands, is all. Unlike some people, I'm not _rude_."

Blaise threw his head back and laughed at Draco's words.

"Spoken like the true arsehole that you are, mate!" he stated delightedly, irritating Draco further. "After all, it takes one to know one. Please don't confuse me for a fool, Malfoy. Snape cares more about his hair than you do about being _polite_."

The tension between the two teenaged boys grew to a fever pitch and Blaise turned his head slightly towards the Herbology greenhouse in the distance. Some of the Gryffindors were leaning against the building, chattering amongst one another. Draco spotted Potter's unkempt hair and rolled his eyes. With him were Granger and Weasley, the unfortunate looking duo, and Weasley's whiny (albeit attractive) little sister. There too, stood Luna Lovegood, the only one wearing a bright blue scarf. She was clutching her books to her chest, looking mousy and sorely out of place.

In fact, Draco found that she looked a fucking mess. Her jumper hung on her as if it had belonged to her father and the gray color made her look ill. Her wand was hopelessly tangled in her long ashen strands and nothing she did freed it from the bird's nest that was her endless hair. He even noticed that one of her knee socks had slipped down lower than the other.

Yes, she was an unholy mess.

_Who taught her how to dress and what the hell is she doing here?_

Draco felt a nudge and someone behind him snickered.

"Oh, there's Loony!"

Pansy exclaimed this in delight causing everyone to look in Lovegood's direction. She had said it loudly enough for all to hear.

Startled, Luna spun around to the sound of laughter from the group of Slytherins which made her turn pink and trip over the rucksack that had been by her feet.

This made Pansy giggle even harder.

"She must be here to help Blaise with his lessons."

Her words were light and devoid of malice and she offered Draco a teasing wink.

"But don't be jealous, Draco! I'm sure she'll find plenty of time to canoodle with you, yeah? You're quite popular and haven't you wanted someone to...er..._spend time with_?"

At her words, Draco recalled the terrible pain he had experienced the morning Pansy had told him about her betrayal. The sudden memory nearly made him retch. And here she was, mocking him! Teasing him about what he couldn't have and making assumptions that he was desperate enough to sleep with Luna Lovegood! His face lost all color but just as quickly it grew flushed with anger.

"You catty bitch!" he hissed, eyes storming. "You mock me, just because you've got some stupid boy in your bed? You make fun of me when I've been nothing but the best friend you could have even though you betrayed me?"

His face was a mask of hatred and disgust.

"As if I would ever sleep with that loser!" he spat hatefully. "And if you weren't so busy chasing tail all the time maybe you'd learn some consideration for others in your life!"

Pansy took a step back, face falling.

"Look, I didn't mean to upset-"

"Get the hell away from me before I do something I'm going to regret."

His voice was like ice and he reached for his wand, eyes harshly trained in an apologetic-looking Pansy's direction.

"Come on, Draco, I didn't mean it."

"Fine," he spat, flinging his hands up in defeat. "If you don't leave then I will. Piss off, Pansy."

He stormed past her, head held high, ignoring her insistent pleas. They eventually died in the cool air when he got far enough away and once he was alone, Draco was able to ascertain that he was still so angry he was shaking.

_Stupid bitch._

But once the anger began to fade, Draco felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and supreme loneliness. He didn't have many friends and alienating the ones he did-

"Mate, Pansy didn't mean it, you know."

Great. Blaise had followed him.

Draco stood rigidly facing away from the greenhouses, his back turned away from his so-called friend. He said nothing.

"She was just joshing you."

"Don't you have a tutoring session, you stupid oaf?"

"You still hung up on her?"

Draco was silent; his jaw tightened. Blaise was cautious as he continued.

"Have you ever tried just telling her that instead of acting like a right prick all the time?"

Behind them, laughter rang in the afternoon air, the mood around them as bright as the sunlight above.

"You wouldn't understand. It's because of _you_-"

"I thought we were over all that?"

"Leave me alone, Zabini."

Draco's voice was flat and devoid of emotion. He would have said more but he stopped himself because there simply was no point.

Blaise groaned.

"Well, I do understand one thing. Attacking Pansy for having a boyfriend won't get you anywhere with her. We're all sorry things didn't work out, you know. If only because you've been insufferable ever since. I realize you haven't had a girl for awhile and maybe...the truth is that no one gives a toss who you spend your time with, you know. Luna's not-"

All the equilibrium Draco had gathered in his short moments away from his friends was shattered in seconds. He whirled on Blaise, wand raised and without thinking cast the first curse that came to his lips.

_"Relashio!" _

Suddenly, the laughter and light-hearted mood was gone and someone let out a cry of surprise as a jet of bright light raced from the tip of Draco's wand towards Blaise's surprised face. The dark-skinned boy had very little time to react and he threw himself towards the ground, dodging the curse, his Quidditch skills suddenly becoming quite important. Within seconds the trees closest to the greenhouse were ablaze, smoke rising into the blue sky and students crying out in shock.

Draco stared at the fire oddly, as if experiencing a terrible dream.

_It's going to be a bad, bad afternoon._

* * *

Professor Sprout glared down at Draco as he sat on one of the long, rickety tables in the back of Herbology Greenhouse One.

"Mister Malfoy, what were you _thinking_?"

Her high-pitched voice rang out through the empty room. The other students had left moments before, all giving him lingering, curious glances. Some looked more pensive than others and some, like Weasley, looked downright amused.

_Fucking wanker._

"Or were you not thinking at all?"

Sprout's voice grated on Draco's already shredded nerves. He attempted not to wince and could not find his voice to answer her. The room around him was stifling in spite of the cool weather outside. It stunk of green plants, dirt and something foul.

He wasn't able to breathe.

"Endangering students? Setting trees on fire?"

Draco closed his eyes as he heard his teacher turn towards the door as someone else entered.

"Pomona?"

"Ah, Severus! I'm so glad you've come quickly."

Snape stared at Draco, one black eyebrow raised.

"Mister Malfoy? Care to explain yourself?"

Snape's voice faded away and the stifling greenhouse classroom was heavy with anticipation and silence that was only sporadically broken by the sound of voices outside. At first Draco had thought it was just a few lingering students but then he clearly made out her voice.

Lovegood.

Her voice rose and fell, ever patient and always gentle. He couldn't quite make out what she was saying but the murmurs rendered him into a trance-like stupor. Only a few seconds later was he aware that Luna was tutoring Zabini. His voice would occasionally cut into her soft murmurings.

Somehow the whole idea sat in the pit of Draco's belly like something cold, oily and indigestible. He felt sick all over again.

"Well, Mister Malfoy? Care to answer your professor?"

Draco nearly jumped at the sound of Snape's voice and finally, clearing this throat, he managed a few words.

"I...I was provoked, Sir."

"Provoked?"

"Zabini, he-"

Sprout interrupted.

"Provoked? You were provoked to cast a dangerous curse that nearly set the greenhouses on fire and endangered your fellow students? PROVOKED?"

Draco found himself increasing annoyed by Sprout's voice and the reproachful way with which she was watching him. He sat up straight at his desk, staring at her levelly.

"Yes, _provoked_, Professor."

The phrase was quiet but still somehow thick with insubordination. Sprout bristled.

"Detention!" she cried out.

"But, Professor-"

"No, Mister Malfoy! There will be none of that from you! Detention until Christmas holiday."

"That isn't fair!"

Sprout leaned her fat little body against his desk.

"What isn't fair is that you put my students in harm's way and you show no remorse! Yes, Mister Malfoy, detention until Christmas holiday. With me, _no questions asked_."

Draco sat back, disgusted and turned to look at Snape with hopeful silence. Unfortunately, the Potions professor's sallow face showed no signs of sympathy.

_Brilliant. I've been slighted by my Head of House._

Draco turned back towards Sprout who was shuffling back and forth in front of his desk, tapping herself on the chin, a look of concentration on her usually pleasant face.

"Three times a week after supper you will meet me here, Mister Malfoy. And you shall help me with organizing my stock for lessons. And any other such matters that I might need."

Draco sat back up looking as if he had eaten something foul.

"But I have Quidditch practices after supper," he pointed out.

Snape looked at him pointedly.

"Well, I suppose you'll have to miss those, wont you? Let it be a lesson learned, Mister Malfoy."

Draco stared at his professors with disgust.

_Scratch my earlier thoughts. It's not going to be a bad afternoon. It's going to be a bad fall term._

Beyond the greenhouse the sound of Luna and Blaise's voices had stopped and Draco could see through the tiny window that Blaise was standing and stretching before offering Luna a smile as bright as the sunlight. He wondered what Luna was saying to him and at the same time was glad he couldn't see the stupid, lovesick look on her face.

Whatever they were saying to one another was interrupted by Snape who crossed the room and stepped outside onto the path, giving the two a terse nod. He disappeared around the corner and a few moments later Blaise and Luna did as well. Draco took a breath and then stared at Sprout.

"I am sorry, Professor. I will see you in detention tomorrow."

The words were tight but civil. Sprout gave him a patronizing smile.

"Oh, no, Mister Malfoy. Detention starts _now_. Come along!"

Draco stared after her as she tottered towards the back door of the greenhouse.

_Bad fucking term? Forget that, it's going to be a fucking miserable year._

But he followed because there was nothing else he could do.

* * *

The sun had already fallen behind the turrets of Hogwarts Castle when Sprout paused at the edge of the trail that had led to her smaller storehouse. Draco turned to look at the blazing orange sky and the castle that loomed beyond the trees like a macabre statue. The owls were already hooting in the distance.

"Here we are."

She motioned for him to step forward but Draco stared at her defiantly, offering a snide smile.

"After you, Professor. Age before beauty."

Sprout's face tightened but she said nothing, walking forward into the room and disappointing Draco with her silence. The tables before them were laden thick with small, clay pots filled with thick, dark earth and green stemmed plants. The room smelled of the forest. Sprout handed him a pair of old, worn gloves and a pair of earmuffs.

"My first years will be studying Mandrakes this week. I had wondered how I would transfer all these but now I don't have to."

Draco stared in disbelief.

"You want me to repot all these? There's got to be hundreds!" he lamented.

"One hundred and ten to be exact."

Draco didn't move, mouth hanging open in disappointment.

"Chop chop, Mister Malfoy! You'll need to start now if you're to have supper tonight."

Draco pulled out his wand but before he could use it, Sprout snatched it up with her little fat fingers.

"Tsk, tsk...wandless, please."

"But I-"

"That's for giving me cheek, young man. You would do well to remember that I am your superior and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry isn't Malfoy Manor."

With that, Sprout waddled back out of the small greenhouse and was swallowed up by the coming night shadows.

For a moment, Draco stared at the clay pots angrily, wanting to take each of them and smash them to pieces. The thought gave him a twisted sense of pleasure. But he also knew that his father would hear of everything that had transpired and he could not get himself into more trouble.

With swift, angry strokes, Draco yanked on the muffs and gloves before stalking over to the first stand and grabbing one of the clay pots, nearly spilling the contents all over the workbench.

"Stupid cow," he spat.

He grabbed at the first Mandrake, viciously yanking it out of the soil next to the pot and watching it as it twisted strangely in the low light, its mouth open in a scream Draco couldn't hear. He jammed it into the pot harshly and began to cover it with thick, wet earth.

"Foolish, plant-obsessed, old biddy! I'll show her! I'll show them all. Fools!"

Draco's breaths came in short gasps as she reached for the next plant, and then the next, wondering if there had ever been such a miserable start to anyone's year ever.


	6. Mandrake Troubles

_Here is more Druna interaction while Draco completes his first detention and some scenes with Luna and her friends. Thanks always for your continued support. Enjoy! _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**6. Mandrake Troubles**_

* * *

"_I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."  
― Abraham Lincoln_

* * *

Ginny was giving Luna a serious look.

"So it isn't true then? I heard people saying that the fight was over _you_."

Luna was taken aback and she stopped mid-stride as the girls strolled along the drawbridge later that afternoon.

"That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!"

Ginny laughed.

"Someone heard your name mentioned."

Luna was a bit bewildered about the whole thing, really. One second the Slytherins had been laughing at her (led of course by terrible Pansy Parkinson) and then the next, the greenhouse had nearly caught fire! None of it made sense.

"I don't know much about the fight but I know that Draco Malfoy got a long detention because of it."

"How do you know that?"

"Professor Sprout told me."

Ginny stopped, looking over the hillside towards Hagrid's hut as they neared their separation point. She did not ask further about Sprout; she knew Luna's deeper relationships with the professors.

"Speaking of Malfoy, is it true what people are saying?"

"What are people saying?"

"That you had a picnic with him the day of the rained out Quidditch match."

"That's the sort of rumor that seems almost too outrageous to be a rumor, doesn't it?"

Ginny gave Luna an odd look but the blond girl just offered a dreamy smile.

"Can I tell you a secret? It's about Draco Malfoy, a picnic basket and Blaise Zabini."

Ginny's eyes got round and a moment later Luna was telling her friend everything she had been holding in since the day she had met Blaise.

* * *

Luna hurried away from the castle, holding a small bundle in her arms. The castle was a black, hulking structure behind her and the only light along the path to the greenhouses was the one that emanated from her wand. It was cold and she was glad for her long, warm scarf and mittens. In spite of her heavy outerwear, Luna's heart felt incredibly light.

_Confession is good for the soul._

Ginny hadn't been angry or reproachful. She had simply listened. Luna liked when people just listened. She believed that if someone just listened long enough some of the most nonsensical things in life would start to make sense.

After their long stroll along the drawbridge and the outside grounds of the castle, Ginny and Luna had gone to the supper a bit later than their friends. Harry, Ron and Hermione had given them odd, concerned looks but neither girl had said much. Luna hadn't minded however; she was too happy to have someone to confide in after weeks of keeping her newfound feelings about Blaise a secret.

Professor Sprout had come to the Great Hall late, the small smile on her face doing nothing to ease the tension that Luna had seen in her eyes. She had stopped by the Hufflepuff table to say a few words and had then approached Luna with a warm smile. And Luna had trouble saying no to anyone who called her 'Luna, dear.' Besides, Professor Sprout was one of the nicest witches Luna had ever known.

"So here I am," she sighed aloud to no one in particular.

One thing that she found could be a bit irritating was that befriending the teachers sometimes meant they asked you for special favors.

She was clutching Draco Malfoy's wand in one mittened hand and in spite of her better judgment she had also added a heel of bread, some cheese and an apple to her pack because she hadn't seen him come to supper. He would be hungry.

As she hurriedly descended towards the direction of the greenhouses, Luna could see the squatting form of Hagrid's hut and found reassurance from the thick plumes of smoke that rose up from its chimney. Beyond the hut she could see the large, skeletal wings of the Thestrals as they moved about the pasture that Hagrid had created for them.

Luna paused, catching her breath, to watch them for a few moments.

The sky was a beautiful indigo color, spotted with tiny dots of light. Beyond the tip of her wand the world was dark and Luna stared at the ghostly forms of the beautiful creatures. Even in the darkness they seemed to glow. She had been able to see them for years; it was a secret she liked to have because it made her feel special. It was how she had gotten to be so close to Professor Sprout and to Hagrid; they allowed her to tend to them most weeks simply because few students had seen them.

_Hello, Mum,_ Luna thought, as she did each time she saw the Thestrals.

Then, smiling to herself, she began her trek once more, her step lightened. She always found simple joy in the beauty of the world around her and had decided long ago that people were miserable because they wanted to be. She past by the main greenhouse swiftly, catching the faint scent of smoke in the cool night air and then moved down the more narrow path towards Professor Sprout's smaller storehouse. There she saw the dim flickering of lantern light.

That's when she heard the grunting.

Unsure of the source, Luna slowed down before peeking around the entrance to the storeroom.

Draco was viciously working at transplanting a large number of Mandrake plants. He looked dirty and disheveled, thick dirt layered on his robes and on his arms all the way up to the elbows. With a smirk, Luna noted that he had even managed to get dirt on his nose and part of his cheek. It was an odd thing to see one of the most popular boys in Slytherin House looking so..._normal_.

She also discovered the source of the grunting. With each scoop of earth she could hear Draco muttering curses under his breath, damning his family, Professor Sprout, Professor Snape, Pansy, Harry, the school, his father and Blaise to the fiery pits of Hell. The words, muffled by the night air, had sounded like grunting from afar. Now, standing so close to him, Luna was able to make out the words.

Just as Draco moved to secure the earmuffs on his head with one muddied hand and reach for another Mandrake with the other, Luna spoke.

"Hello."

He jumped at the word, dropping a small shovel-full of dirt before spinning around. His eyes were wide with shock.

"Bloody hell! What are you doing here, Loony? Why do you have to be so sodding creepy?"

"My name is _Luna_."

"I don't give a piss _what _your name is."

Luna wasn't perturbed by the nasty words, simply watching him for a few seconds. She was a little sad, however, that he couldn't quite get her name right. She let it go though because he looked so…sad. He was pale, almost gray in the dim lantern light, his hair an odd shade of silver. Even though he was regally handsome, he looked much older than his years and very much like his father had looked that night she had fought him in the Department of Mysteries: he looked angry and hateful.

An icy shiver caused goose bumps to rise up on Luna's arms and it had nothing to do with the night air.

"Professor Sprout sent me," she replied, watching him solemnly. "She wanted me to help you."

Draco stared at her, his aristocratic features twisted into a sneer.

"Oh, did she now? Well, piss on her. I don't _need_ your help."

As if she hadn't heard him, Luna began to walk around the small storeroom using her wand to light the rest of the lanterns hanging about. The room was soon filled with jolly light but it did nothing to wipe away the boy's dismal scowl. She turned around and moved back toward a dirt covered Draco.

"There, isn't that better?"

"Quite peachy," Draco replied with sarcasm. "Now will you kindly go away so I can finish this?"

Luna didn't answer, her eyes trained on the dirt laden table and the pots scattered about. She noticed that his arms were covered with thin, red scratches. Without another word, she wiped some dirt from the table and laid the bundle she had brought on the table.

"She also gave me your wand to give back to you. Isn't that rather nice of her considering this is your detention?"

Draco eagerly snatched up the wand that had been so unceremoniously stolen from him hours before. But Luna noticed it did nothing to erase the ugly contempt from his face. It was sad, really, because he was not a bad looking boy otherwise.

"Bless her crotchety old heart," he quipped with a well-practiced eye roll. "You can go now."

Luna once more ignored him, instead unwrapping the rest of the bundle. She revealed the bread, apple and cheese and then offered him a thin smile.

"I also brought you some supper."

* * *

Draco stared down at the food as if it were an unbelievable sight. He was shocked and for a moment was reminded of the lunch they had shared the previous week and the funny way she had eaten her apples and cheese - cutting them up into tiny pieces and putting them into her mouth all at once. But what he hated more was the stupid smile on her face. How he hated that each time she smiled he couldn't help but wonder what she was up to, trying to confuse him!

Draco blinked.

"I'm not hungry and you're not my mother."

Luna sighed.

"It is proper to say thank you, Draco."

"Don't call my by my name. That's reserved for my friends, and you're not my friend, are you?"

She was silent then and Draco chanced a quick look at her, hoping that she was red with anger and indignation. But she wasn't; she was simply watching him curiously.

"You were rather civil with me several days ago and I thought that perhaps I had been wrong about you. But I wasn't. You can really be mean sometimes."

Draco glared at her more comfortable being insulted than accepting Luna's supper offerings.

"Mean? Is that the best you can do? Well, at least I'm not a foolish, lovesick _ninny_ with her head in the clouds."

For a moment there was a tense silence but then Luna offered a small laugh. It sound was almost warm in the near darkness.

"It's also rather foolish that you haven't learned the proper way to repot a Mandrake."

Draco stared down at the mess before him, his brows furrowing.

"What are you talking about, Loony? I'm doing just fine or are you blind?"

"I'm not blind. There are scratches on your arms," she stated obviously.

He found he was growing irritated with her ability to always state what was painfully obvious.

"So? What's that got to do with anything?" he growled.

"Those are scratches from the Mandrake roots. You're doing it wrong. If you held them at the base where their roots dig into the dirt they wouldn't be able to scratch you."

Just as Draco began to sputter out a haughty reply, Luna leaned over towards him and he jumped back, disgusted.

"Don't touch me!" he exclaimed.

Draco kicked himself for sounding slightly strangled.

Luna paused, hovering over the mud-laden workbench, flicked her hair from her shoulder and gave him an odd look.

"Those wrackspurts are really messing with your head, aren't they?"

"What the hell are you blithering on about now?"

For a moment they stared at one another before Draco finally looked away offering her a disgusted eye roll.

Luna sighed and shook her head.

"I wasn't going to touch you. I only wanted to show you something."

Draco looked at her suspiciously as she motioned for him to put his earmuffs back on. She grabbed a pair from nearby, did the same and then he watched with growing fascination as Luna reached down and rested the weight of her hand next to the base of the plant that sat in front of her. Without gloves she wrapped her fingers firmly around the sturdy green stalk and pulled with one, flowing motion. The Mandrake shook and twisted, its mouth open in a terrible cry but Luna's position at the base of its roots made it impossible for the plant to attack her the way it had him. The roots curled and straightened, sought the purchase of flesh, attempting to strike out at her but she held firm and with obvious experience swiftly placed it in a new pot and covered it with fresh earth.

The Mandrake stopped crying and Luna turned towards Draco, showing him her dirty albeit scratch-free hands.

"See?"

Draco was momentarily fascinated with how tiny her fingers were and at the same time chastised himself for noticing.

Luna was smiling up at him brightly and Draco had to look away. A part of him did not want to be shown up by a girl like Lovegood. But to show her up meant he would have to socialize with her and he wasn't sure that he wanted to.

"So you can repot a Mandrake. Good for you," he said ungratefully.

"Here," she said once more ignoring him. "Let me see those scratches-"

Draco registered the soft touch of those tiny fingers and yanked his arms away as if she had burned him.

"DON'T!"

His holler was much louder than he had intended and it made the small girl jump in surprise. The she stared at him and shook her head sadly.

"You really are one of the most unpleasant boys I have ever met."

Her voice was one of regret and it made Draco laugh cruelly.

"No one asked you to come down here, Loony. If you want to talk to someone friendly, go find someone else. If they'll have you."

Her expression didn't change but Luna gathered her things quickly and shot him one last look.

"I suppose I'll have to. It would have been nice to help you finish those pots. Have a good night, Draco."

He glared at her, back and shoulders stiff from resentment and anger. Even as she slipped out of the storeroom he yelled at her.

"Don't call me Draco!"

But she never replied and once more he was alone.


	7. Figs and Violets

_I've had several messages asking me if there would be more interaction from Luna's friends. I wanted to say that this story is mostly from Draco's POV and so his relationships will be more highly featured. Having said that, thanks so much for the adds, faves and the reviews. Keep them coming! In this segment Luna and Pansy each offer Draco some truths. Enjoy! _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**7. Figs and Violets**_

* * *

"_The truth is rarely pure and never simple."  
― Oscar Wilde_

* * *

The morning after his first detention Draco decided that facing his friends and housemates would be impossible to do. He did not relish the idea of talking to Blaise or listening to Pansy apologize while at the same time continue to kiss and canoodle with Theo Knott in his presence. He also did not want to see the curious and amused glances from the others in Slytherin House who had undoubtedly already heard what had happened the day prior. In fact he was aware that everyone in the school would have already heard about it.

_There's no helping it. But I don't have to sit here and be stared at like some sort of caged hippogriff. I won't._

For that reason, Draco rose long before sunrise, dressed himself and then slipped out of his dormitory and through the doors of the common room and hurried upstairs, away from the dungeons. No one was about at that unearthly hour - not even Peeves, who enjoyed irritating Slytherin students who would hurry to their morning lessons.

By the time he had reached the main part of the castle, Draco had decided he would slip into the Great Hall, tuck some fruit into his rucksack and then lose himself in the dusty stacks of the library until his first lesson. He wanted to avoid the other students as long as possible. It would be tiresome pretending to be nonchalant around everyone else when all he felt was miserable.

Miserable...yes that was a good way to describe it.

The Great Hall was mostly silent but the tables were already laden with hot porridge, breads and pastries, juices, fruits and milk. Draco hurried across the large room towards the Slytherin tables, opening up his sack so he could grab his breakfast to go. He was so focused on his task at hand that he didn't see Pansy until it was too late to run. And just as he was about to turn and flee he saw her get up, smooth her skirt over her shapely thighs and rush in his direction.

"Draco."

"Are you stalking me?"

"If by stalking you mean am I trying to apologize and get you to forgive me then yes, I'm stalking you."

"Don't bother."

Draco shoved two apples and a tart into his school bag roughly before stalking away from her. But the Great Hall was empty and the echoes of her footsteps could be heard as Pansy ran after him. Once beyond the double doors, they were alone and she reached to grab his sleeve.

"Why do you have to be like this?"

"Because I don't want to see you, get it? I thought I was quite clear yesterday. Piss off."

Draco's tone was like ice and Pansy sighed and let go of his sleeve.

"I really am sorry, Draco. I was only teasing; we all were. I know I can be a bitch sometimes. But you matter to me."

Draco relented and after what seemed like ages he finally looked up. Pansy was watching him and looking more contrite than he had ever remembered seeing her and that was saying a lot. Pansy Parkinson by nature was not one to be apologetic.

He let out a strangled sound and then a long sigh.

"Fine. I may have overreacted the other day."

Pansy raised one perfectly arched brow as Draco continued, looking away from her.

"I was angry and I loathe that wanker, Blaise."

"Why is it that you loathe only him? You should hate me too."

"I do…sometimes."

As Draco spoke those words he wondered why it was he couldn't quite hate her _enough_. Pansy sighed, fiddling with the edges of her school bag before speaking.

"Draco, I'm sorry about...us."

"Us?"

"Us not working out. Maybe we...I guess I wasn't sure how to talk about it once it was over and you never brought it up."

Draco pressed his lips together in a thin, white line. There wasn't a reason to lie to Pansy; it wasn't like she hadn't been there during the falling apart of their relationship, was it? Still, something inside of him refused to relent.

"Like I told you six months ago, Pansy, you should go and be with him if that's what you wanted so much."

They stared at one another - a knowing look full of resentment and pain they had been holding back - and finally Pansy fell apart.

"You never brought it up!" she cried out. "That morning I admitted what had happened you never said anything! You stared at me like I wasn't there, Draco! Like we hadn't been dating for months! Like I didn't exist! You didn't even care!"

Draco was taken aback by her emotional outburst and the pain in the depths of her eyes. He hadn't seen that pain since the morning she had ended their relationship. He had been sick then and now all the emotions he had taken care to hide seemed to want to bubble to the surface. He bit them back.

Pansy swiped viciously at the tears that had blurred her vision. She waited for him to say something but he didn't and she began to push him - jamming her hands against his chest forcefully.

"You could have said something! You could have acted angry...or confused...anything! You just walked away! And so I thought you were done, that you would never talk to me again but the next week you...you acted like nothing had happened!"

Draco shook his head and grabbed Pansy's wrists to hold off her assault.

"What was I supposed to have said? Should I have crawled on my hands and knees begging you to come back? Should I have cursed Blaise because he was supposed to have been my best mate? Should I have damned you to hell because you cheated on me? What would you have had me do?! We're not children, Pansy!"

She shook her head, her face a mask of sadness.

"I didn't know you cared! You just..."

She faded away and his jaw trembled just a bit.

"Well, I did care. I cared a bloody lot, you know. I still do. But what happened was for the best. What happened between you and Blaise…it can't be taken back. I didn't want to dwell on it; I moved on."

_Except, I didn't._

Pansy sighed.

"I hope you believed me when I told you it wasn't ever about Blaise. I didn't want him. Not really, I just…"

Draco turned away from Pansy, feeling the pain of regret. Maybe if he had said something...

But she had moved on and that part of his life was over.

"Tell the others I won't be around this afternoon. I've got loads of studying to do and detention with Sprout three nights a week until Christmas holiday."

"All right," was her quiet, uncertain reply.

Draco turned then to look at her.

"I..."

Pansy reached for his hand, slipping her fingers around his and squeezing them.

He squeezed back a moment later.

* * *

After an endless day of lessons in which Draco got stared at and whispered about he was more than ready to slip out of the castle and down the path towards the greenhouses at the edge of the forest. He wanted a moment of solace where he could think about what had happened between himself and Pansy, even if it meant hours of time in the dirt serving what he felt was an undeserved detention.

The conversation that morning had been months in the making, he knew. They had never discussed her one night stand with Blaise. She had never explained herself; he had never asked her to. He had just walked away.

_Here I am, pretending to be so much stronger than I am. I was too cowardly to admit to her how I felt._

Irritated with himself Draco began to levitate a small pebble watching it float in the air for a few seconds and then letting it drop and roll on the path before doing it all over again.

Yes, he had been too weak and now he hated himself for it. And he hated Blaise for every conquest he had made since the morning he had stolen Draco's girl.

The path below him was empty; all classes were over for the afternoon and Draco was blessedly alone. That was until he reached the greenhouse clearing. There, Luna knelt on the soft grass, humming a tune to herself as she took to several squat, olive colored bushes with large pruning shears, a cauldron to her left and a small sack of chocolate biscuits to her right.

"Merlin on a hippogriff! Again?" he exclaimed, stopping in mid-stride, a sour look on his face.

Luna turned around and stood, wearing a smile that should have been reserved only for dear friends. She didn't act as if he had just insulted her.

"Merlin never rode on a hippogriff, you know."

Draco glared at her in shock.

"It's just a bloody phrase, Lovegood! Besides, how would you know?"

"Surely, someone would have written about it."

Draco scowled, squinting at her in the late afternoon sunlight.

"We're done having this conversation."

"All right. It was lovely while it lasted, thank you."

Luna turned back to the many potted bushes oblivious to the bewildered expression on Draco's face. She sighed happily.

"I'm glad you're finally here! I thought you might be late."

Draco glared at her.

"Well, I'm _not_ glad _you're_ here. Why are you _always_ here?"

"Professor Sprout assigned me to help you this afternoon."

She motioned towards the bushes quickly.

"They're Abyssinian Shrivelfigs. Professor Snape needs Shrinking Solution by next week and he's asked her to gather some of the ingredients."

Draco looked over her shoulder at the large amount of bushes.

"I know what they _are_," he replied haughtily. "But I've had a rather awful day and I'd really like to do the pruning and gathering myself."

Something in his voice made Luna pause before speaking.

"But I love pruning the shrivelfigs! It's one of my most favorite things!"

Draco rolled his eyes, irritated.

"It would be, wouldn't it?"

Luna brightened, oblivious, as always, to his sarcasm.

"How would you know? Have you read my mind?"

"No, but anyone with any sort of life at all knows that pruning a bush is the most boring work on earth. And seeing as you're quite…"

Draco didn't know why he was even bothering to insult the blond girl watching him curiously with odd, gray eyes. It wasn't like he had ever succeeded. Finally he just rolled his eyes.

"Never you mind. I just want to get this done," he growled.

Luna looked at him with a bright expression.

"Well, the more hands the quicker it'll get done, right? And then you can go back to the castle. My mother always told me that the only antidote to a bad day is the start of a new one," she finished with another smile.

"How is your help going to start a new day?"

"I was just thinking that if you got done here quicker, you could go to supper quicker and then back to your common room. It could make the day go faster."

"Lovegood, the number of hours in the day haven't-"

Draco gave up. Just like he had never managed to insult her he had not yet been able to reason with her either. It wasn't worth it.

"Fine," he snapped. "Let's get this rubbish over with."

She seemed pleased at his acquiescence and handed him a pair of shears and a small bucket. Then she dug into the pocket of her too-large jumper and offered him a handful of what looked like purple flowers.

"What are those?"

"Sugared violets."

She put one in her mouth and bit into it with a satisfactory crunch.

"They're delicious; my father sends them to me by owl sometimes. These were fresh so they're extra good."

"That's disgusting. No one eats flowers, Lovegood."

"Loads of people do. They're healthier for you than Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans or chocolate frogs. Try one."

"Not after they've been in your grubby pocket all day long."

"My pocket is quite clean."

"Says the girl who eats chocolate biscuits while pruning Shrivelfigs."

Luna turned around with a shrug.

"Your loss!" she sang happily.

"I'm sure I'll be weeping with regret come nightfall," he replied dryly.

Luna had knelt by the closest shrub and had once more taken to it with her shears. Reluctantly, Draco joined her, hoping for a moment silent respite.

But it wasn't to be.

"My daddy tried to make sugared dirigible plums last year."

"Come again?"

"They didn't turn out so well. They were really bitter. I told him they would be but daddy just doesn't listen. He doesn't understand that a dirigible plum _is_ a plum but _not_ a plum. It isn't as sweet."

Draco stopped pruning his shrub to stare at the girl next to him. He looked at her – really looked at her - for the first time, studying her tiny nose and delicate features framed by wisps of white blond hair that would have fallen way past her waistline if they hadn't been held up by a series of hair pins made out of Butterbeer caps. She was oblivious to his staring, wearing a dreamy little smile as she snipped at the branches nearest to the ground. She knew her way around the shrub and she knew just the way to pull the fruit from its branches so that it did not split open. She dropped the ripe figs into her bucket in between enthusiastic bites of crumbly biscuits.

She was the oddest girl he had ever met and at the same time something about her _unnerved_ him.

"You know for all the sugared violets, chocolate biscuits, cheese, fruit and stolen house elf sweets you eat it's a wonder you aren't the size of Milly Bullstrode."

Luna's large eyes widened as she stopped pruning to gaze at Draco.

"That's a terrible thing to say about Millicent."

"It isn't terrible; it's a fact."

"How do you know she's not half giant like Hagrid? Then she wouldn't be able to help her size, would she?"

Draco nearly laughed out loud at her ludicrous idea.

"I've met her parents. She's not half giant; she just eats like one. Sort of like _you_. You happen to eat a lot of junk."

"Fruit isn't junk."

"Sugared violets are."

"It can be argued that violets are plants, which are in the same family as lettuce, which is good for you."

"You're mental."

"At least I am nice!"

"And I've admitted that I'm a mean, terrible person. You won't admit that you eat like a troll."

"How do you know what trolls eat? Have you spent time with one? Do they eat Hogwarts food?"

Draco shook his head incredulously.

"You really can't be insulted, can you?"

"I don't know; I've never stopped to think about it."

Luna was blushing. It wasn't exactly the reaction Draco had hoped for but at least she wasn't giving him that odd smile of hers anymore. When she said nothing in reply, Draco focused his attention on the shrivelfig once more and picked off two plump looking fruits from it.

There was a long silence which he was quite thankful for although it ended much too soon.

"Why did you try and set Blaise on fire?"

The sudden inquiry was so ridiculous Draco let out a chortle in spite of himself. Luna turned a deeper shade of pink.

"Is it supposed to be funny? He could have really been hurt!"

Draco dropped his shears and gave Luna a look of pure disgust.

"First off, Blaise is fine; he'll always be fine, don't you worry your odd little head about him. Secondly, if you paid attention during Defense of the Dark Arts at all you'd know that 'Relashio' is not even _near_ to being a fire spell. So, no, I wasn't trying to set anyone on fire."

Luna was rendered silent by the vehemence of Draco's statements. She paused, looking down at her biscuit crumb and leaf covered lap.

"Still, it's odd to curse someone for no reason, isn't it?"

Draco's face was marred by a frown.

"He deserved it."

"It just seems sort of cruel."

Her soft, needling tone drove Draco to the brink of insanity and he pushed himself up off the ground to a standing position.

"No, it's not cruel. He's a conceited wanker and I hope he gets eaten by the Giant Squid."

"The Giant Squid doesn't eat humans."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I hope he gets crushed by the Whomping Willow."

Luna cocked her head thoughtfully.

"Technically for the Whomping Willow to actually attack, one would have to-"

Draco flung his hands out silencing the girl effectively.

"Stop! Stop analyzing every bloody thing I say! Haven't you ever just _hated_ someone?"

Luna smiled.

"Why would I do that? Hatred is a silly emotion."

"Not even one person, Lovegood? Not even someone who betrayed you, tormented you, who treats you like rubbish?"

"If those things warranted hatred, I'd have to hate everyone, including you. But I don't."

Draco scowled.

"Some people simply require hating. You know, you really should hate Blaise Zabini. He's not that great. And he's using you."

For a moment Luna looked utterly dejected. She was a tiny bird-like girl in an old, too-big sweater, wearing strange barrettes in her hair and thinking strange thoughts in her head. She refused to look at him.

Draco almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

"What? Haven't you got anything to say?"

For a few seconds, Draco had the terrible thought that she might cry but Luna only took a deep breath and glared at him levelly. Well, at least it was better than tears.

"I have! I've told you already how you couldn't possibly understand!"

Draco rolled his eyes.

"I've had quite enough of that excuse."

"It isn't an excuse! You don't know what it is like to be me!"

Draco rolled his eyes and then opened his mouth to respond just as Luna lifted her wand and pointed it at him.

"You shouldn't roll your eyes! I see you during the school year; you're always surrounded by friends. You've got a group to spend time with and you're always doing social things, aren't you? And I see girls looking at you! You're attractive to them!"

Draco tried to brush off her statements, watching her wand carefully, lest she curse him or something equally terrible.

"Please, so now I'm supposed to _apologize_ for having friends and being attractive?"

Luna interrupted once more, her voice stronger than before and trembling slightly with pent up emotion.

"I'm not asking you to do that. I told you that you would not understand. You don't know what it is to be alone most of your time and to feel the way I do around people who don't understand me. You might think Blaise is a terrible person. But he's not so bad. A couple of weeks ago he went into Hogsmeade and brought me back Butterbeer caps so I could make these," she motioned to her hair barrettes which barely did anything to hold her hair back.

"And he comes to see me everyday," she added.

Draco snorted.

"Of course he does. When he runs out of clean socks."

Moving as swiftly as he had ever seen her, Luna charged him, wand aloft. Draco had to stumble backwards to avoid her.

"Don't you dare judge me! Draco Malfoy who never had a social problem in his life! Don't dare mock me for being kind to the only boy who has ever noticed me! You've done nothing the last few weeks but put me down. You've mocked my name, my thoughts and my habits. And for what? What do you gain from it? How can you stand there and mock _him_?"

Luna leaned down to clumsily gather all her things with shaking hands and then gave him one last, dirty look.

"Blaise is good to me, which is more than I could _ever_ say about you. So take a good look in the mirror before you start judging others."

Then, without another glance or word, the tiny girl hurried around the greenhouse and out of sight, leaving Draco standing alone. He felt odd for a second, as if all his strength were gone. Then the next second brought a fevered energy, a desire to chase after Luna Lovegood and show her what a horrid person he really could be.

How could it be that she – a sodding little Ravenclaw - had put him in his place? It wasn't possible!

Draco spun around and moved to dash after the girl and found himself stumbling over the forgotten shears and one of the shrivelfig shrubs. He ungracefully fell to his knees with a grunt. For a moment he closed his eyes to catch his raging emotions and when he opened them once more he saw that Luna had forgotten her tiny stash of sugared violets. They lay strewn along the grass near the bucket full of figs.

They looked like royal purple flowers in the winter, frosted over with ice. He touched one.

And sticky.

Without thinking he took one and put it in his mouth. It was both sticky and papery and it tasted like honey. But it did nothing to sweeten his heavy heart.


	8. She Dances with Hippogriffs

_I really appreciate all the positive comments. Thanks for reading, reviewing and following. Enjoy! _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**8. She Dances with Hippogriffs**_

* * *

"_We'll begin with a spin, traveling in the world of my creation,  
what we'll see will defy explanation!__"  
― Willy Wonka_

* * *

In the weeks that followed, the gossip and whispers about what had happened between Blaise and Draco near the Herbology greenhouses had died down. Draco officially resigned from the Quidditich team until the spring term and spent most of his time in his dormitory or the library to avoid the questions. He figured that Blaise would share all the pertinent information with all the nosy prats who didn't matter piss to Draco. In fact, he didn't give Merlin's ass what anyone was thinking. Even though he knew it was a bit extreme, he shunned his friends for a time, meeting only with Pansy for an occasional meal in the Great Hall.

The bird-like Ravenclaw stopped coming down to the greenhouses after her outburst and Draco spent all his detentions alone slowly working his way through an endless list that Sprout always seemed to have made up for him. He would never admit that a part of him missed Lovegood's eccentricities. That would be madness.

Of course, Draco still saw her.

He would spy her in the Great Hall, eating with Potter and his friends. The oaf, Hagrid, had her doing things for him and Draco would glimpse her near the shack by the edge of the Forbidden Forest. And when he was studying in the library some nights she would be there, helping Pince out with little odd jobs. It was as if Lovegood had dedicated her life to making sure she stayed busy at all times.

And most nights Draco would know she was waiting near the entrance of the Slytherin Common Room, waiting for Blaise. He didn't know where the two went afterwards and he had convinced himself he didn't care.

_I don't care. I just don't._

Still, a part of Draco remained uneasy. It was a feeling he hated; it was like knowing something was going to happen but not knowing when. It put him in a perpetual state of anxiousness and he attributed his feelings to his row with Pansy. It _had_ to be Pansy.

_It'll blow over; I'll be back to normal in no time. _

A week passed and then two.

Draco refused to admit that Luna's broken expression floated across his mind more often than he wanted it to. And still he recalled her passionate defense of Blaise and the disgust in her face as she had torn him down. Sometimes he found himself so distracted with such thoughts that he would forget where he was. Why did he care? What had _that girl_ said or done to make him think about her this way? It wasn't as if she was worthy of even his thoughts, was it? He was vulnerable, that was all. He was still hung up on his breakup from Pansy and it was making him weak. Yes, that was all-

"Draco, why aren't you paying attention to me?"

The blond Slytherin jumped at the sound of his name in time to see Pansy gazing at him with a petulant pout. She had perfected the sort of look that could make half the male population at Hogwarts swoon. Draco wasn't completely immune to it.

_Saucy tart._

"Just because I occasionally agree to grace you with my presence does not mean we actually have to hold a civil-"

"Hush," Pansy hissed, pulling on his arm, her suddenly feverish gaze darting towards the general area of the Ravenclaw tables. "And look."

He did, and the sight that met his eyes was enough to make Draco forget that Pansy was sitting so close to him he could feel her breath against his skin, the warmth of her body against his and the intoxicating scent of her sugared jasmine perfume.

Blaise was lounging at the end of the nearest Ravenclaw table, smiling down at Luna Lovegood, who was blushing like a virgin on her wedding night. Draco had never seen anything like it; Luna seemed to be glowing from within. The dreamy expression, the vacant stare was gone and it was replaced by blushing cheeks, a glowing smile and sparkling eyes. She had never looked at anyone the way she was looking at Zabini. She looked like a girl and not like a freak. She looked like she was having the time of her life, sitting there in the sodding Great Hall talking to a boy who wasn't worth-

Draco stopped, shaking his head as if trying to dispel the darkening thoughts that lingered there. No, no he wouldn't think about it. Next to him, he could hear Pansy's soft snort.

"I almost feel sorry for her," she muttered. "Poor girl doesn't know what's coming."

He felt something cold and sour swirling in the pit of his belly, making it ache.

"Why do you give a piss?" he nearly growled trying to hide his own, strange reaction to the couple. "Still hung up on him, are you?"

"Come off it, Draco. What's done is done."

Draco cut her off, glaring in Zabini's direction.

"Whatever. We're not going to have this conversation again."

He stood forcefully, swallowing back the disgust that he wanted to spew. He wouldn't say anything; he wouldn't act like seeing Blaise nearly frotting with Luna in front of the whole school bothered him. Draco watched with sick fascination as Blaise leaned in to whisper something that made Luna giggle just a bit. She turned her head towards his, pink cheeks glowing with a young girl's infatuation.

_What a pathetic, bloody fool she is!_

Blaise twisted one strand of Luna's long, long hair around his finger as he laughed at something she was saying. For a moment their laughter died and it looked almost like they might kiss. Draco wondered if anyone else in the Great Hall thought it was odd that Zabini was paying attention to a tiny nobody from Ravenclaw House.

He didn't even notice that his fists had clenched.

_Well, I won't feel sorry for a silly girl. She's bringing it on herself. _

Behind him, Pansy had gathered their things and Draco felt her giving him a nudge.

"We'll be late for Potions," she reminded him.

When Draco didn't respond immediately, she leaned against him, realization dawning on her pretty features.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" She guessed with surprise, her eyes narrowing in a predatory way.

"You're mental," Draco scoffed, feeling a heat of embarrassment rush through him.

Pansy was laughing but the sound was tinged with mild irritation.

"You are! Look at you!"

Draco yanked at her long robe.

"You shut it," he hissed. "I would never, ever be with a girl like Lovegood."

Pansy and Draco exchanged a long, hard look before Draco let go of her, his sudden anger gone like a rush of wind. Pansy was left thoughtful, her eyes flickering towards Blaise one last time.

"Well, somebody ought to warn her, don't you think?"

She hurried away from him, leaving Draco alone. The Slytherin King turned, his grey eyes narrowing with spite.

_It isn't my job, anyway._

Then he hurried after Pansy, trying to banish his thoughts mostly because they were of the way Luna had smiled at Blaise, a most unforgettable smile.

* * *

_Well, somebody ought to warn her, don't you think?_

The fading sunlight made Draco squint as he stared down towards the clearing where Hagrid's meager shack stood. He could see the half-giant wandering about his garden, tending to the humungous pumpkins growing there.

_Well, somebody ought to warn her, don't you think?_

He had told himself that he wouldn't care. What was it to Draco that Blaise was just going to use Lovegood and toss her aside?

Hesitating only for a split second, he hurried down the pathway to the nearly rotten wooden gates that lined the half-giant's property. He paused, hand on the rail just as Hagrid looked up.

"Mister Malfoy? What brings yeh down here?"

"I...erm-have a message from Professor Flitwick. For Loony-Luna Lovegood, Sir."

Hagrid raised a bushy brow.

"I won't be havin' anyone upsettin' her, yeh hear? There won't be none of yer tricks."

Draco refrained from rolling his eyes. Of course Luna would have her teachers at her defense.

"No tricks, Sir. Just a message if I might."

Hagrid motioned with his shovel.

"She's jes' behind the house, trainin' one o' me hippogriffs. He hasn' calmed down jus' yet."

Draco stepped away from the great oaf, a frown on his face. So this was the great groundskeeper of Hogwarts? Putting underage witches and wizards at risk of being mauled by some hideous creature?

_Brilliant._

With a curt nod, he moved quickly towards the field and just beyond the courtyard of Hagrid's shack, Draco found Luna.

She faced away from him, standing on her tip-toes and talking in a sing-song voice to the ugly creature that watched her with large, beady eyes. It was snorting but Luna seemed unaffected by its animosity.

Draco paused outside of the fence, fascinated as he had been the night she had tried to help him repot the blasted Mandrakes and the day they had pruned the Shrivelfigs. There was something about Lovegood...something that made him notice her even when he didn't want to. The earlier frustrations of the morning seemed to fade away, Pansy's words, Blaise and Luna together in the Great Hall - all of it.

Here, in the late afternoon sunlight, she was just Luna again. Just Luna who had shrugged off her too-large school robes and had piled her hair up in a messy bun secured by her wand. Just Luna standing in the field, talking to a massive hippogriff like she would talk to a person, raising her arms in the air as if to imitate flying. She moved slowly around the creature, now whispering to it, flapping her arms in strange but almost beautiful dance-like movements. She wore an odd ensemble - a blouse like McGonagall's, a skirt that was too long to be called a skirt and no shoes. She wasn't wearing bloody shoes! Something about that made Draco want to laugh, and he hadn't laughed in a long time.

The hippogriff seemed to calm in Luna's presence and presently began to flap its wings along to her odd dance in the field. The girl began to laugh happily and it was a magical, uplifting sound. Tendrils of fine, corn silk-colored hair fell from her loose bun and she reached up to pull the wand from its confines, the rest cascading down her back like a waterfall. She shook it free and continued to dance happily in the field with the hippogriff.

Draco thought perhaps he was dreaming and this sunny field and the golden-haired witch were just figments of his own imagination. Luna and all her odd ways didn't seem real sometimes. She spun around a third time, clutching her wand in the air and suddenly, just like that, the dream was over.

She had seen him and quickly, she squatted to gather her things, pretending like he wasn't there. The happiness and carefree bliss drained from her face, leaving it expressionless. The hippogriff made a strange noise and began to flap his wings. As she stumbled towards the hut, head down, Draco wondered how much time had passed; he had lost himself in Luna's odd dance. A part of him wanted to lash out at her yet again; there was something about the fair-haired Ravenclaw that needled at Draco's emotions – even now he was still affected by her passionate words. He shouldn't have cared. Was it really just because he hated Blaise?

Well, the alternative wasn't something Draco was ready to think about. Then again, he hadn't come there that afternoon to attack her, had he?

_No. _

Draco swiftly stepped across the small entrance to Hagrid's courtyard, blocking Luna's way completely. When she reached him, she only hesitated slightly before gazing up at him curiously. That was another thing that happened to be odd about Luna. No matter how he tried to infuriate her she was not taken to such emotion. For someone who was used to anger, she was able to drive Draco insane.

"Let me pass, please."

Her request was breathless and polite.

"You haven't got shoes."

"Why does one need shoes on a day like this one?"

Luna's question made Draco wonder if she was trying to make him feel stupid.

"I don't know, maybe because it's the end of October?"

Luna watched him, cocking her head.

"Does it matter to you if I wear shoes or not?"

"No."

"That's good. Let me pass, please."

This time she tried to slip past him with little success. Perhaps she was afraid to actually push forward. Draco tried not to smirk. Luna rolled the tip of her wand along her fingers as if wondering she ought to hex Draco or not. She decided against it and fell back with a shrug.

"I'll just walk across the field then. It's rather nice out and I won't mind the detour. Nargles are pretty easily spotted this time of year and I wouldn't mind seeing one."

She spoke to herself as she clutched her robes tighter and pushed her wand behind one ear, turning to walk back towards the field. Tiny, shoeless, messy-haired Luna Lovegood began a slow trek towards the castle.

* * *

Luna knew Draco was watching her. She could feel it. Over the years, she had gotten used to people staring at her and this wasn't much different, really. Had he come down to Hagrid's just to mock her again? She felt a blush rising up along her neck at the thought that he might have seen her trying to make the hippogriff dance.

It wasn't so much that she was ashamed. After all, she believed hippogriffs could dance; her father had written a whole article about it in the previous month's _Quibbler_. This particular creature hadn't really wanted to dance though. Or maybe Luna hadn't been doing the dance correctly.

_I'll have to re-read that article soon. I reckon any hippogriff could benefit from some dancing!_

No, it wasn't that which made Luna feel odd. It was that Draco might...

_Well, why should I care if he makes fun of me with his friends? They've always done that, haven't they?_

Still, it bothered her more than it usually would have.

The sun was a setting ball of butter in the pale blue sky and Luna took a few breaths of air, hoping to focus on more pleasant things. The day had been lovely. Her schoolwork was done for the week and she had plans - real plans - with Blaise that evening.

Yes, it had been a lovely day even though her feet were starting to feel the effects of the late fall weather and the grasses this far in the field weren't all that comfortable.

She wiggled her now very cold toes.

Unfortunately, she knew she wouldn't be going to get her shoes; that would require facing Draco once more.

_Why did he come? Why does he have to be such a bully? Can't people all just be nice?_

It was also unfortunate that Luna knew better - she knew that life could be cruel. Her mother was gone and she was mostly friendless at a school where she didn't fit in most of the time. And to make matters worse now she felt like she was being bullied by one of the most popular boys at school. And over what? She didn't understand!

Luna, who had grown terribly frustrated, didn't have time to think about it because suddenly he was there again, blocking her path as he had done moments before. He was so tall that he blocked her view of the sun and from her vantage point his face was cast into shadows.

Stepping back the small girl shrugged.

"I really am not sure what you want from me. But it must be important as you've followed me."

"Would you believe it if I said I had a message from Flitwick?"

Luna stared at him skeptically, trying to get his angle and forgetting that she was shoeless and frustrated.

"No, of course not. That's silly. Flitwick always sends his messages using one of the school owls. It's the one with the funny, colored wings. Everyone wanted to get rid of that owl but Professor Flitwick is so kind! He decided that it would be his owl no matter how odd it looked."

Luna found it curious that Draco looked almost lost but then again most people did when she talked about the simplest things. As it was, he was scowling at her and she thought that if he didn't always wear such a perpetually miserable expression he might have been quite attractive. He had very nice eyes, first of all. Not that she would ever tell him such a thing.

Luna was so busy studying Draco's miserable face that she nearly missed what he was saying.

"Well, what if I told you I was doing an extra credit report for that ugly oaf, Hagrid, and I wanted your input on the dancing rituals of hippogriffs?"

Luna gasped, interested despite her earlier reservations.

"Are you quite serious? My father wrote a whole article about-"

And just like that, the Slytherin boy laughed.

Luna stepped back, frowning. She felt an odd sensation flowing through her. The elation she had felt momentarily at the idea that she and Draco Malfoy _might_ have had something in common was shadowed by the reality that once again, he was only making fun of her. It confused her that some people were this cruel and even more so that she had felt elated at the thought that Draco might-

No. That was silly. It wasn't like she even cared!

"I don't see how any of this is funny."

"Hippogriffs don't dance."

"Of course they do! Naturalists have been studying them for _years"-_

"Luna, I didn't come here to talk to you about dancing hippogriffs. It was a bleeding joke for Christ's sake!"

She was shocked into silence but only for a moment.

"You called my by my name."

"Is that a huge deal now? Does it matter what I call you?"

"With replies like that it's a wonder you call _me_ odd."

"You were dancing with a hippogriff."

"There's nothing wrong with dancing!"

Once more he laughed. Luna found she liked Draco's laugh and when it faded and he grew more serious she felt sadness wash over her. They stood in the field while the sun set upon the world, ushering in the evening which was Luna's favorite time of day.

Draco broke what she thought was a rather pleasant silence.

"There is a real reason why I came to find you. If you believed that crack about my research on hippogriffs...then you might actually believe the _real_ reason."

Luna watched him, curious in spite of herself.

"Well, I suppose there are reasons harder to believe than you wanting to know more about some of the most fascinating creatures in the wizarding world."

He cocked his head.

"I...whatever you say."

She offered him a smile and hoped that he would return it but he did not. He simply stood there glowering at her for a few seconds.

"I wanted to tell you that I've been a right wanker to you the last month."

"I already knew that but thank you for being so honest."

She watched as the cool expression on his face become shaded with irritation.

"I was angry with Pansy and Blaise. I took it out on you and I don't really know why. I guess you were just there."

Luna wondered if Draco was all right. After all, how often did he - or any Slytherin besides Blaise - ever apologize? Was he even apologizing?

_Wrackspurts! They've got him all confounded!_

She reached for her wand and began to wave it over Draco's head in a figure eight, muttering something under her breath. The blond boy was taken aback.

"What the piss are you doing?" he said, swatting at her wand like a girl with a bee in her bonnet.

It made Luna giggle a little. Draco could be funny.

"Trying to charm away the wrackspurts, of course! They've made your brain all fuzzy, can't you tell?"

"All I can tell is that you've gone mad!"

"Wrackspurts are not to be taken lightly. Research done on them says that if you don't know how to counter them your brain could be addled forever. I read about one terrible case where a witch ended up at St. Mungo's for the rest of her life because everyone ignored the wrackspurts that attacked her."

She moved her blouse to show him her small pendant which was shaped like a lopsided star.

"It's why I always wear this; it protects me from any sudden attacks."

Luna didn't even notice Draco's incredulous expression as it flickered from her pendant to her face until he reached to wrap his hands around her wrists and pull her forward. She found that he had very warm hands for such a cold person. She also felt odd at the way he was watching her.

"Luna, there are no wrackspurts and there aren't going to be any attacks right now. Really, _my_ brain is no more addled than _yours_. I'm just here, trying to...well, you know."

His face had twisted down into an unpleasant frown, reminding Luna how handsome he_ could_ be if he wanted to be.

"I know?"

"Yes, of course you know. I shouldn't have been a wanker."

"That's nice."

"What?"

"That you're realizing you were a wanker."

"So...you aren't mad anymore?"

"I don't think I was ever mad."

Luna searched his face for a few moments, her eyes dancing over his strong chin and regal nose and gazing into his gray eyes. For so long he had been the enemy. But standing there in front of her...he seemed different.

"Good, so we're fine then?"

"Aren't you going to apologize? I feel like you might be trying to do that. Maybe the blibbering humdingers have got your tongue!"

Draco threw out his hands in defeat.

"For bleeding Christ's sake! Fine! I'll apologize for being a prat. I'm sorry. There, are you happy? Accept it or not, I don't really care."

Luna searched his face once more. She looked for signs of a wrackspurt attack but saw none and finally relented, sighing. She didn't know why but having Draco genuinely apologize for something made her feel...

Well, she didn't feel like a freak, is all. She felt like he could _almost_ be her friend.

"Oh, I DO accept!"

Her breathless reply faded in the early evening and Draco found himself wondering why he was still standing there.

"Good, then, that's settled."

Luna nodded firmly, wondering why Draco was so weird.

"It is."

The sun had gone down beyond the horizon, blanketing them with the purple shadows of coming nightfall. Already, stars glittered in the skies above them.

"So, Lovegood, it's bloody boring doing detention by myself all the time. Fancy joining me?"

She studied him more closely now, wondering if it was a joke but Draco seemed rather serious.

"I'd like that. I don't mind helping you; you certainly need to hone your Herbology skills. Perhaps it's a good idea you got detention from Professor Sprout?"

Her voice was as sunny as a summer's day.

"Right, I'm sure that every student here thinks that detention is beneficial."

Luna tapped her wand against her chin for a moment, deep in thought.

"Oh, it really is," she countered. "It teaches self-control and it gives the professors time to teach us even more! Shrivelfigs are fascinating plants! I read up on them in the Library the other day. I still wonder how they can grow here in Scotland! Their natural habitat is so much hotter!"

Draco gave her an odd look which she didn't notice. She was so deep in thought she didn't notice him steering her back towards Hagrid's hut and away from the field. It would be too dark now to venture that close to the Forbidden Forest.

"They use fire spells, Lovegood. Some of those greenhouses Sprout has are hotter than Pansy Parkinson in a skirt."

Luna glanced up at him.

"That's an odd analogy, isn't it?"

Draco offered a wry laugh.

"Not really."

Luna considered this for a few seconds.

"Well, I suppose not. She is your ex-girlfriend; I know that sometimes when Hermione or Ginny wear skirts, Ron and Harry are always looking."

Draco made an obvious, gagging sound.

"Please spare me the perverted inner workings of Potter's mind."

Luna shrugged and glanced up at Draco in the near darkness. By wand light he looked ethereal, and nearly as lovely as some of the house ghosts. Except the Fat Friar, who wasn't attractive at all. Somehow though, Luna imagined Draco wouldn't appreciate such a compliment. For a few seconds there was silence as they entered Hagrid's courtyard and Luna fished her shoes from a hiding place beneath the rickety stairs of his hut. Then they began walking up the pathway towards the castle which loomed like a terrible, black thing in the night sky.

"Don't you think all boys think the same way about girls in skirts? I wear skirts; I wonder if Blaise thinks I'm hot?"

Draco bit back a biting reply, swallowing a chortle.

"I don't even want to know."

"Why?"

"We aren't going to have this conversation."

Luna watched the blond boy hurry up the pathway almost at a jog. With a little shrug, she hurried to catch up to him.


	9. Being Slytherin

_I really am so glad you're all enjoying this! The response has been much better than I thought it would be given the pairing has a smaller audience. Anyway, thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. In this chapter Luna wonders if it is really a good thing to be Luna. ;) Enjoy!_

_LCailan_

* * *

_**9. Being Slytherin**_

* * *

"_Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."  
― Marilyn Monroe_

* * *

_She's following me! Like some sort of weird puppy!_

Draco could hear her hurried footsteps behind him and took pleasure in trying to be one step ahead of Luna Lovegood because were he honest with himself he would have had to admit that she _scared_ him. Just a bit, if that was possible. He couldn't recall the last time that someone had fascinated him the way Luna had and that was _scary._

_Well, it isn't like she'll ever know._

Luna wasn't like Pansy – in fact she wasn't like any other girl he had known – ever. He had found himself wanting to laugh at her at the beginning and now he was more than curious about the inner workings of her odd and yet incredibly brilliant mind. Yes, admittedly it seemed rather peculiar that they had just been discussing Pansy Parkinson of all people but at least she was no longer blathering on about _Blaise._

That little fact irritated the blond Slytherin more than he wanted to admit.

_Leave it to me to use an analogy like Pansy's hotness. And leave it to Luna to run with it. _

Breathless, Draco hurried to keep ahead of Luna. Eventually it got tiring and he stopped and turned to find the blonde girl skipping up the pathway towards the castle wearing a whimsical smile. Merlin, she was bloody _skipping._

He let Luna catch up and when she did Draco was struck by the thought that in the darkness, she reminded him of the Grey Lady, whom he had seen only one time since his first year at Hogwarts.

"Do you really think Pansy's that...hot?"

Luna's voice was breathless and the question made Draco snort with laughter.

"It's common knowledge, Lovegood. I dated her and Malfoys only date the best."

Luna blinked a few times obviously not finding the situation as funny as he did.

"It's not really common knowledge though, is it?"

"Of course it is," Draco scoffed.

"But I didn't know about it. And I haven't talked to any of my friends but I would bet three chocolate frogs that they don't know about it either."

Draco gaped at her. He knew there was no point in asking her if she was serious; Luna always was. He finally chose to laugh.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste, is there?"

"Those are my friends you're talking about!" Luna exclaimed defensively.

"And I feel terribly sorry for you."

Luna shrugged.

"Well, don't. I feel sorry for _you_."

"Do you, now?"

"You go on and on about what a horrible person Blaise is, don't you? And yet he's still your friend. And don't you think Pansy is a bully? She's quite pretty with all her nice clothes and jewelry but she's still a bully just like Vincent and Gregory. How attractive can a person be on the outside if they're ugly and rotten on the inside? The only friends she has are Daphne and Astoria Greengrass, did you know that?"

Draco smirked uncertain of whether to be irritated or amused by Luna's passionate analysis of his so-called friends.

"Shit, Lovegood, of course I know that. She's my friend, isn't she?"

"The Greengrass sisters are just as horrid! Astoria is in Double Potions with me every week and I see how awful she treats everyone around her. All three of them are terrible! It makes me think that maybe my daddy was right."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"And what does your father have to say on the subject?"

Luna, as always, was oblivious to his sarcasm.

"He wrote and article in the Quibbler about Nargles and how they alter people's moods. It's been studied extensively in other countries."

Draco found himself stunned into silence as he found was often the case when having a discussion with Luna Lovegood.

"What the piss are you talking about? Nargles aren't even real!"

"How are you so sure about that? Have you studied Nargles? Have you looked for signs that Pansy, Astoria and Daphne aren't infected?"

Draco fell into incredulous silence once more and she looked at him in an unusually cross way.

"And you're friends with them! Sometimes you even _act_ like them."

Draco smirked.

"So what does that mean? What's so terrible about being Slytherin? And aren't you just a tad bit biased? You think Blaise is the second coming of Merlin. Haven't you noticed he used to be my best mate? And did you know that before Theodore Knott, Pansy was sleeping with him?" he spat incredulously.

Draco knew his statement might hurt but his irritation had grown to a fever pitch. Luna stepped back, her eyes widening as if someone had slapped her. She sighed.

"He did mention it," she admitted finally.

Draco gave her a triumphant stare.

"Oh, so he's telling you things now, is he? Playing the innocent victim, I suppose?"

Draco could see that Luna was practically itching to defend Blaise but the tiny Ravenclaw said nothing, her eyes locked on Draco's.

"Has he told you everything?"

Luna faltered and Draco saw her gnawing on her lower lip pensively.

"Why would he lie to me? That seems silly, don't you think?"

"If you knew the things he's done it would make Pansy seem as innocent as a newborn babe."

Luna's face turned down in a rare scowl.

"You keep saying Blaise is so wretched but you haven't offered me a lick of proof!"

There.

Draco nearly salivated at the idea that he finally had Luna Lovegood where he had wanted her for weeks. Now he could defame Blaise and he knew that she was innocent enough to buy it. He knew she wasn't a fool but Draco also knew how to be influential. He knew how to be the sliver-tongued snake. He knew how to manipulate the situation.

_I can make her believe whatever I want her to believe._

Luna waited expectantly, her eyes wide and her delicate jaw set stubbornly.

Draco searched for the right words, the right way to paint the portrait that he wanted her to see. It wouldn't be hard. Blaise was a manwhore and he had ruined many a relationship just because he could. He was most likely using Luna and would toss her away the first chance he got.

_And by if some slim chance he fancies her a good fuck then - well - I'll ruin any chance he has, won't I?_

The words formed on his lips.

"Maybe he hasn't told you but six months ago..."

The words caught in his throat and he choked on them when he saw the expression on Luna's face. Maybe it was the way she looked by the light of their wands or maybe it was the damned, make-believe wrackspurts – Draco didn't know. But suddenly he wasn't so sure he _wanted_ to continue. Blaise deserved to lose Luna but was it worth it at her expense?

_He's her only chum, for bleeding Christ's sake!_

Shuffling from one booted foot to another, Draco swallowed his words and let out a groan.

"You really fancy him that much?"

Luna didn't reply but the cross look had faded from her face. She looked confused but there was no mistaking the sudden blush across her cheeks.

Draco shook his head. The answer was written on her face as plain as ink on parchment. He rolled his eyes.

"You know, I wouldn't ever admit this to anyone but even though I'm a Malfoy it took Pansy a little while to notice me."

He could see Luna's eyes widening in the darkness and Draco studied her critically, swallowing a sudden odd feeling of affection for the fairy-haired blonde that was watching him closely.

"But I wager if you…well, changed some things...showed Blaise what he was missing…?"

"How?"

"Merlin's beard, Lovegood! Do what the other girls do," he offered in an offhanded way, trying not to look at her too closely. "That blouse you're wearing looks like a hand me down from McGonagall and your skirt is dreadfully long."

Luna looked down at her rather frumpy outfit and when she looked back up at Draco she had the nerve to look offended.

"What are you talking about?"

Draco threw his hands up in the air.

"If I have to tell you, I suppose you'll never know."

Luna gave him a frown.

"Do you want me to act more like Pansy? That makes no sense!"

Draco cocked his head.

"She might be a bitch but she's exactly what a boy like Blaise is looking for. You're pureblooded aren't you? Why haven't any of those ideals been ingrained in your mind?"

Even though he had intended it to be underhanded mockery of Luna's penchant for being a blood traitor, Draco found he was genuinely interested in her response. Luna remained silent for a few moments, thinking. When she answered it was subdued.

"If Blaise fancied Pansy I think he'd be with her. He could probably have any girl he fancied. I don't believe Blaise would be that close-minded. That's left for people like Pansy."

"You don't even understand, do you? She's from one of the oldest wizarding families in England! She knows how to act appropriately. She knows the words to say and the actions required. She knows how to put on airs. And she knows she'll marry well; they all do. It doesn't matter what she's like in class or what a whore she might be behind closed doors. Where it matters, she knows who she is and her place."

Draco realized he had grown embittered and Luna watched him, wearing an odd sort of smile. For some reason, the thought of Luna being just like Pansy or the Greengrass sisters infuriated Draco.

"Could you be like that, Lovegood? Could you act the way they do?"

Luna looked miffed, turning her face to the side wordlessly.

"Here's the truth - if you want to get _anywhere_ with a Slytherin like Blaise Zabini you'd better walk and talk the part of a _pureblooded_ witch."

There was something odd in the way Luna looked at Draco then.

"Purebloods aren't all like Pansy and her friends. There are some that are quite nice. You shouldn't generalize."

His eyes narrowed.

"But you couldn't, could you?" he challenged. "Because you're not like them, you're..."

_Better_. He knew she was better than they were as maddening as it was – but he couldn't quite _say_ that.

"I'm like what?"

Draco wanted to tell her, but the words got stuck in his throat. For a few moments Luna waited with anticipation for his reply but in the end she relented with a tiny sigh.

"Well, I don't know what _you_ think I am but _I_ know what I am. And right now I am late," she finished.

"Come again?"

"And you'll be late for detention. Have a nice night, Draco."

Her voice was like a whimsical echo in the cold night wind.

"I thought _you _were coming to help me with my detention?"

"I can't tonight."

"You said you were going to help me!"

The idea of having to deal with another detention alone frustrated Draco to the point that he forgot he wasn't supposed to_ want_ Luna to join him so much. He saw her hesitate for a moment.

"I said I would help you but I did not say it would be today. I've already made plans, you see."

"Plans?"

Perhaps it was the touch of sarcasm in Draco's voice that made Luna tip her chin up confidently.

"I have a date."

He stopped to look at her, stepping closer to see the somewhat reserved expression on her features. But it was plain to see that beneath that she was pleased. Luna was the oddest sort of open book.

"A date?"

"Yes, with bigoted Blaise, since that's how you like to think of him."

"Luna-"

"I like it when you say my name."

Draco wanted to lash out at her, hating the way she was able to make him feel things he didn't want to. He wanted to be irritated with her, damn it! He wanted to be angry and frustrated because she was maddening! It wasn't possible that this tiny girl from Ravenclaw had so much power-

_No, of course she didn't._

Draco rolled his eyes to cover up the odd way she had made him feel. It passed quickly and he dismissed it as indigestion.

"Lovegood, that git is not going on a bleeding _date_ with you. What exams has he got next week?"

Luna's face fell, a bit of anger shadowing the happiness that had been there moments before. Unlike the times before, Draco did not take pleasure in being the reason that her happiness seemed suddenly dimmed.

"None," she replied, pushing away from Draco and moving towards the path that led up to the drawbridge. "It's funny. People like to think what they want and I often wish they wouldn't be so quick to judge. The world is an odd place sometimes and I know no one believes me but I do think Blaise might like me."

Her eyes gazed into his and she offered a sigh.

"This weekend he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. I've never gone with anyone, you know. They say Madame Puddifoot's is nice so I might want to try that."

Draco stared, shocked at this. What sort of plan would Blaise have for a girl like Lovegood?

"Oh? So he's your boyfriend now, is he? Sodding Puddifoot's?"

Luna sighed, sensing his mockery.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, Draco. I hope you have a lovely night."

She began to make her way up the hill, alone.

"Thanks for nothing, Lovegood!" he called back, hoping to get a reaction - any reaction - out of her. But she was gone, quickly swallowed by the darkness, and Draco was alone. He scowled, moving down the hill towards the greenhouses, frustrated and confused.

He was once more fixated on why he cared so much. He couldn't, not really. Not about a girl like...

No.

Without another thought, Draco disappeared into the greenhouse, the door closing with a thud behind him.

* * *

Luna had tried to ignore her friends' disapproving glances as she had finished her breakfast the following morning. She had done well ignoring them up until that moment but breakfast could not be helped. For the first time since making friends, Luna wished that they would all go back to pretending like she wasn't there.

At first she had endured Hermione's stern lecturing about the dangers of spending time with those who might hurt her. Hermione - although endlessly brilliant - didn't have much imagination. Luna liked her but at the same time she didn't quite understand her well enough to have a deep friendship with her. Besides, she had a hunch that Hermione didn't like her that much.

Then Ron and Harry had joined in at Hermione's prompting, reminding her of how terrible the Slytherins had been to them, and how cruel Draco Malfoy and his cronies could really be. As if Luna hadn't known that already. It seemed so silly to bring it up! She tolerated the gentle lecturing only because she truly cared what Harry thought and it was difficult to argue back when his green eyes were gazing so kindly at her.

She though Harry Potter was probably one of the kindest boys she had ever met. Ron was a bit irritating, it was true, but Luna knew he meant well and because of that she remained silent as the boys were speaking to her.

Even Neville had given her trouble that morning! Neville - whom Luna was certain adored her!

_Why won't they leave me alone?_

Luna had excused herself after only finishing half of her breakfast and had hurried away with only a small glance over her shoulder at her troubled friends. She felt better alone because she didn't want to be questioned about her choices pertaining to Blaise Zabini. They could think what they wanted. Merlin, it wasn't like they were right! Who knew, perhaps they had been attacked by Wrackspurts!

But it had only taken a few moments for Luna's worries to return. She did care what her friends thought and more so (and much to her growing irritation) wanted to believe what Draco was trying to tell her. This part bothered her most - Harry was going on and on about what a git Draco was and Luna was seeing a boy who wasn't quite what everyone thought he was.

Odd.

_What if Draco is right? What if they're all right and I should be worried? Wouldn't I know if I was supposed to be worried?_

Luna had found herself wondering down to the dungeons without even realizing she was there. Not that this was an unusual occurrence; she rather liked wandering - you never knew what adventure was around the next corner. What was unusual was the fact that she was having difficulties forgetting Harry's words that morning.

_Malfoy, that bloody git, he's probably put Blaise up to it! See if I'm wrong!_

She couldn't quite get Draco out of her mind.

As she neared the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room she saw a gaggle of students dressed in greens and silvers leaning against the stone wall, laughing and whispering to one another. Amongst them Luna saw Blaise's wide and (what she described as) beautiful smile. At first she felt a bit off put. After all, these students weren't her friends, and after the conversation with Draco the night before about Pansy-

She was there, sitting on the stone railing, school skirt smoothed primly over her thighs. Luna noted for a second that everything about her seemed perfect; she wore clothes that looked like they were made for her and expensive looking green and white knee socks and brand-new shoes. Her lustrous, dark hair was pulled back by expensive looking jeweled clips and there was just a touch of green eye shadow highlighting her eyes. Luna had always thought Pansy had the most curious colored eyes - so dark blue they were almost violet.

_How can anyone so rotten on the inside be so beautiful? _

Pansy noticed her, eyes narrowing just a bit as she leaned in to whisper something to one of her friends. Predictably, the Greengrass sisters were holding court, laughing at anything Pansy was saying and the elder tossed thick, curly hair from her shoulder as she gave Luna an odd look.

They, too, looked picture perfect in their silver and green skirts and expensive looking jumpers.

Luna's fingers moved to smooth the back of her head self-consciously. Though not normally taken to such flightiness as what she looked like, that morning one of her pale blond curls had misbehaved and not even a charm and a bright, fuzzy hair clip had helped. Especially since the hair clip clashed terribly with her sparkling, bright orange pumpkin shaped earrings.

That morning it hadn't seemed like a huge deal but now, in the face of the gang of Slytherin girls, Luna felt...well, she didn't feel like she could compete.

_You want Blaise? You'll have to be like them-_

Luna could not get Draco's slightly annoyed words from her mind even though at the same time she wondered if he were right. Could she be like them? Should she want to be? Didn't Blaise like her just as she was?

_I can't do this. I can't believe I'm here, thinking about this. What would a boy like Blaise see in me when he's got a lot like Pansy and the Greengrass sisters?_

The Ravenclaw felt an unusual struggle with her confidence and gave up with a sigh. Just as she turned to hurry back the way she had come, Blaise noticed her.

"Luna, love!" he called as he always did, casually abandoning his group of friends to join her. "What are you doing here? You aren't due for another half hour?"

Luna blinked, gazing up at him, overwhelmed as always at Blaise's nearness. She believed he must have cast some sort of befuddling magic on her because when she was with him it was hard to think.

She wasn't quite sure what to think but a tiny, disappointed part of her heart wondered why it was so odd to Blaise that she visit him without reason. Wasn't that what friendship was about? Hadn't he expressed interest in her? Hadn't he asked her to join him at Hogsmeade the following day?

_Doesn't he fancy me at all? Of course he does; why else would he want to spend time with me? I'm being silly!_

Luna was certain about that.

Blaise was beaming down at her, playing with one rogue curl of her hair and Luna wanted to melt into the ground at his attentions, the buzzing in her ears drowning out the whispered giggles from the trio of perfection in the background. Who cared about them? After all, Blaise wasn't paying them much attention was he? It made Luna giddy with the excitement of a girl's first love.

"I just thought I'd come early," she found herself saying in breathy way.

"Jolly that," he agreed with a warm grin. "Say, we still on for tomorrow then?" he added, his voice like caramel.

"Are we? I had hoped so and nothing else has changed has it?" she managed to say, her eyes widening and her cheeks flushed.

"Good! I can meet you out by the clock tower? I really can't chat now," he added, motioning towards the group behind them. "I promised Daphne I would help her fly."

Luna's face fell a fraction but the attention Blaise was giving her seemed to be like a balm to her disappointment. She nodded with reluctance.

"I understand. We'll have all day tomorrow, won't we?"

Blaise, distracted by the girls behind them, nodded in an off-handed sort of way.

"We will, don't you worry. This is..."

He rolled his eyes and gave her what Luna was sure was a clandestine wink.

"This is something I promised her I'd do. You understand?"

"I do," replied love struck Luna.

"Fantastic," Blaise replied and leaned so close she could smell the scent of his soap. For a few, terribly wonderful seconds, she thought he might kiss her. She had never been kissed and her eyes fluttered shut as she felt his warm breath against her cheek.

But he only whispered in her ear, as if telling her a deep secret.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

She watched, feeling a bit cockeyed and dizzy as he sauntered back to the group of girls. They weren't laughing now, odd, curious looks on their faces. Luna couldn't hear what they were saying. She saw Blaise give them bright, patented smiles as they moved down the hallway towards the stone stairway.

Luna was left in the silence, her ears ringing as if she had been attacked by a horde of Wrackspurts. Somehow in the dim silence Blaise's smile had seemed so fake. Nothing like the smile Draco had shared with her the afternoon before, when he had been laughing at her dance with the Hippogriff.

Pushing this odd thought aside, Luna hurried back the way she had come, forcing herself to stop thinking odd, useless thoughts.


	10. One Day in Hogsmeade

_I'm going to work the Pansy/Draco relationship into this a bit more – originally I didn't have it in the story but it just felt right to me. Of course, Draco might be starting to realize something important! ;) Enjoy and thank you for reading, as always. It means so much to me._

_LCailan_

* * *

_**10. One Day in Hogsmeade**_

* * *

"_It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun.__" ~ __Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

* * *

Draco wrapped his long fingers around his second mug of Butterbeer just as the bell above the front door of The Three Broomsticks tinkled merrily. Pansy walked in, shaking the light snow from what looked like expensive, fur-trimmed winter robes. As she neared the table where Draco was waiting for her he noticed that the cloak was the deepest shade of green. The snowflakes melted in her hair as she slid into her seat gracefully, giving him a hard look.

"What is going on with Zabini and Loony?"

The inquiry was casual but Draco knew Pansy well enough to sense the feverish desire beneath a placid exterior she preferred to show the world.

"What's it to you? Hasn't he already shagged you senseless and tossed you aside?"

Pansy's lips thinned at Draco's words but she did not take the bait and he took several swallows of his hot beverage, a bit disappointed that there would be no fight. He had felt agitated since his evening walk with Lovegood three days prior and felt a good altercation would relieve some of his growing frustration. He had not seen Luna since that night and was dying to know if Zabini would actually show his face in Hogsmeade with her on his arm. Apparently, Pansy was just as eager to know as he.

"I get that he might be playing some stupid game with her but you didn't see them in the dungeon corridor the other afternoon," she said as she waved down one of the barmaids for a hot cup of tea. Pansy refused to drink Butterbeer, claiming it made her 'fat'.

"I hadn't heard," Draco replied flatly, staring into his beverage, a queer feeling in the pit of his belly. It felt much like the tug of sympathy he was feeling lately when it concerned Luna Lovegood.

He was silent for a moment before looking up at his beautiful companion.

"But I hardly think it's any different than the show he was putting on in the Great Hall a few weeks ago?"

Pansy snorted and rolled her perfectly made up eyes.

"Like I said," She muttered, "Playing with her is not the problem but if he really started to fancy that...that..."

"What, Pansy? Are you jealous that Lovegood's different than you are? That maybe she's caught Blaise's eye?"

_That's she's already a better person than you or I could ever hope to be?_

The thought struck in such an odd way that Draco nearly laughed aloud as Pansy flushed a lovely shade of crimson and sat back flush against her chair.

"I'm not jealous," she seethed, eyes narrowing into glittering slits. "I just think it's atrocious that Blaise would have anything to do with that...freak. She's in Ravenclaw! When has _any_ Slytherin dated beneath him, Draco? Shagging is one thing but dating? Contemplation of an actual relationship? I hardly think so."

For a few moments Draco stared at her, wondering if he would ever understand girls.

"You left me for Zabini, did you not? And now what, you want him back? Why didn't you try to keep your hooks in him when you had the chance? What does your lovely boyfriend think of all this? Has it ever occurred to you that if Blaise wanted, you'd be together?"

Pansy's face, which had colored in what she probably thought was self-righteous anger, blanched and her face fell. Her palms landed hard against the wooden table between them, nearly causing Draco to spill his drink.

"I screwed up, I know," she snapped. "You'll never forgive me for as long as I live. I GET that. But I LOVE Theo and this thing...Blaise...I just..."

But there was no way to explain her feelings, Draco knew. She wouldn't be able to explain or justify that there was something about Blaise that drew her. Just like Draco would never understand what drew him to a hateful, bigoted bitch like Pansy Parkinson. Propriety, maybe. But mostly stupidity, he guessed.

_Pansy and I are more alike than we will ever outwardly admit._

They did not speak then for a long while, the silence between them filled up by the laughter and chattering of the other patrons. Draco finished his drink and Pansy had two teas before they both realized that if Zabini was at Hogsmeade that morning, he was certainly not going to make an appearance at The Three Broomsticks.

"Maybe he wasn't serious about bringing her to Hogsmeade. Merlin knows he's got to have some sense in his head," Pansy finally grumbled.

"That or he doesn't fancy seeing your distaste? Or maybe he's too good for this dump? I rather imagine you're only here because you thought he'd show up."

Pansy flushed at Draco quick and accurate guess. She rolled her eyes yet again.

"He can't be serious about her."

"She's serious about him. And when any woman puts her mind to something, she gets it, does she not?"

There was a long, knowing silence between them and Pansy choked on her words and began to mock Draco, which was always her first line of defense.

"What the piss do you know, Draco? Have you been having picnics with Loony all this time? Maybe both you and Blaise have gone mad in your love for her?"

Draco shrugged, looking towards the steamy windows that showed falling snow beyond the pub.

"No, but I've served more detentions with the batty old Herbology professor than you. Lovegood worships the foliage-blanketed ground that Sprout walks on, Pansy. I've seen more than my share of her over the last month or so. And heard so many of her ramblings I could write a bleeding book."

Pansy snorted, glancing around, her foot tapping impatiently. The room was still filling up with Hogwarts students but Blaise and Lovegood were still among the blatantly missing.

"You've gone mad if you think I'll believe that Loony told you she's serious about Blaise. How can she be? It doesn't take a blind man to see that he could care less about her?"

Draco took a moment to relish in Pansy's discomfort.

"And you wouldn't know that for sure, would you?"

He smiled inwardly at her obvious disappointment; it made him feel good that he could still make Pansy feel terrible when he wished. He cared about her and hated her all in one, painful breath.

The girl fell silent, looking around, cheeks flushed. Draco knew he had one a small battle but he also knew with Pansy there was a never ending supply of arguments if he wanted them. After what seemed like hours she spoke stiffly.

"You want to come with me to Gladrags and Malkin's?" she asked, her tone more subdued than before.

Draco's eyes narrowed.

"You want to go shopping? Don't you have a sodding boyfriend for that sort of fun?"

Pansy sighed.

"He's away. His father has come to visit and it figures that it would be on the first Hogsmeade weekend, wouldn't it?"

She had seemingly forgotten her obsession with Blaise and had moved onto the next of an endless line of annoyances.

"I don't want to go alone, Draco."

He stood, shrugging on his warm, winter cloak.

"I don't understand how you could fit anything else into your closet."

"Malkin's has new emerald robes that I must have! Astoria was eyeing them up in a magazine she received the other day and I'll die if she gets them first. Besides," she added with a smile that lit up her eyes, "Daddy sent me early Christmas money and you can bet a bowtruckle's ass I'm going to spend it!"

She led the way, walking gracefully in spite of a barrage of boisterous students and Draco followed wondering when his relationship with Pansy had grown so meaningless.

It was cold outside and the whole of Hogsmeade was dusted with snow. Students roamed to and fro, laughing and talking, shopping and eating. It was the first snap of winter to come and everyone was bundled in their winter best.

Pansy had casually slipped her hand into Draco's robe pocket as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He wouldn't deny her; after all it wasn't he who had ended their relationship and he would always believe that he was made for a woman like Pansy. It just made sense. Maybe there wasn't much warmth and love there but they were suited well together. They walked down the snowy path just as they had done the year previous and despite a small victory, Draco wondered why he felt so hollow. Pansy's bad mood back at The Three Broomsticks was no more but she knew her better than to believe she wasn't harboring some ill feelings towards Lovegood.

Slytherin girls were good at nurturing resentments.

The path was clearer down by the shops and as they neared Madame Malkin's storefront, Pansy broke away from Draco with a gleeful laugh.

"There, you see?"

There was a gorgeous emerald rag hanging in the window, glittering under what Draco knew were color changing, magical lights. It was certainly a sight to see and he knew why Pansy was excited. It also made him think of Luna's too-long skirts, McGonagall-like blouses and odd hair accessories. He wondered if she could even afford such magnificent robes and if she knew how much Blaise would-

Pansy's gloved hand had just reached for the door handle when Draco heard Luna, as if his thoughts had conjured her. It was her laugh. He had grown accustomed to that light, bell-like sound the last two months. It stopped Pansy in her tracks and it made Draco turn around.

There, just at the crest of the snowy hill, Blaise and Luna walked towards them, side by side. It was an odd sight to see and it left them both in stony silence. Pansy for her own reasons but Draco...Draco couldn't quite swallow the lump that suddenly choked him.

Luna was wearing a long coat, brown in color and a scarf that was much too long for her. It was garish and striped in color after color of the sodding rainbow, the pom poms at the end dragging along the path even though she was happily oblivious to that fact. She wore a hat to match with even a bigger pom pom atop her head and her mittens made it nearly impossible to hold hands with anyone even though she was doing quite a good job of trying to hold Blaise's. Her sun-colored hair hung down way below her waist, falling freely as it wished.

She certainly was an odd accessory to Blaise's dark, chic, attractive presence. And as they neared the shopping area Draco heard her lilt on the winter wind, arguing mildly with Blaise about the fact that the merpeople were friends with her father. The odd thing was that Blaise seemed quite taken. And even more oddly, they stopped as they neared Madame Malkin's.

Luna's smile could have lit up the entire wizarding world. Draco likened her eyes to the forget-me-nots that grew in his mother's garden.

"Hello."

Even though she should have been elated to be on the arm of the boy she had professed to 'be in love with', Luna sounded more serene than Draco could recall her being. Before he could respond, or even formulate a response, Pansy was speaking.

"Blaise and Loony, how odd to see you!"

"Why is it odd?" asked Luna. "Don't we all enjoy weekends in Hogsmeade?"

Pansy offered Luna a fake smile.

"I couldn't hope for you to understand, what with your head in the clouds. But let's chat sometime, yes?"

She turned her smile on Blaise who winked at Draco over Luna's head. The whole meeting was surreal and something about it made Draco's stomach turn. These people, this situation - all of it - were not nearly as good as Luna deserved.

"Well, Blaise and I were just heading for a bite," Luna said happily. "So we'll see you both soon?"

The question and her lilting tone seemed to hang between the foursome for a few seconds before Pansy burst into laughter, destroying the silence.

"Right!"

Draco watched Luna and Luna watched Draco.

"Have a good day," she said softly, only to him.

The blond Slytherin nodded, afraid that his words might betray the disgust within him.

He had a sudden realization as Luna turned and she and Blaise walked away.

_I want her to be happy. As strange as it is, she doesn't deserve the misery that we've all subjected ourselves to. She's above all that and it's better for her._

Deep in thought, Draco didn't notice Pansy's sudden movement until she had jumped past him onto the path in pursuit of the seemingly happy couple. Without thinking much, Draco yanked on the sleeve of her winter cloak, causing her to let out a whimper of surprise.

Pansy whirled on him.

"You aren't really going to let that girl walk off with Blaise, are you? That's preposterous!" she raged, her eyes so dark they were nearly purple.

"Let them be."

His words were even and his eyes challenged her to defy him. Pansy's mouth opened and shut as she stared at him in shock.

"Are you mad?"

"Why do you care, Pansy? If she's just another in a line of so many before her what's it matter to you? Why this girl and not all the others?"

Pansy's cheeks had flushed from her anger and Draco felt her relent, her body going limp in his grasp as she stared at Blaise and Luna as they disappeared around a corner. Her silence was frostier than the air around them.

"Where's your loyalty, Draco?" she hissed.

He sneered at her.

"You have the nerve to stare me in the eye and blather on about loyalty? You disgust me, Pansy. You have not a word to say about anyone's loyalty, especially mine!"

She fell silent, stricken as if he had physically slapped her. Then, with one last stare of contempt, Draco whirled on his heel and stalked away from her, boots crunching under the freshly fallen snow. He refused to turn around and see if she would follow; it didn't really matter if she did or not. In the end, their row, just like all the others, would pass and they would go back to being Pansy and Draco again.

A lump rose up in his throat as he hurried along the path that he had just come only moments before, his head down, ignoring the calls of several people, including Crabbe and Goyle. Draco didn't want to talk to any of them. Once out of earshot he glanced up, his eyes suddenly watering from the brightness of the sun against the snow. Or that was what he told himself anyway. Blinking furiously, he pressed his lips together, trying to analyze his sudden bout of weakness. He wasn't like this! He didn't cave to emotion; he was a Malfoy!

Draco stood, contemplating his situation. Could it have been his frustration with having Pansy in his life but not the way he wanted her? Did he even want her? Or was it his endless jealousy of Blaise?

_I can't ever win, can I?_

Draco feared, however, that it had more to do with who Blaise was spending his time with than anything else. Yes, he had long ago admitted (only to himself) that he was jealous of Blaise. And why not? He had stolen his girlfriend and tossed her away! Why ruin a relationship that had been going just fine for one night of sex? It wasn't like Blaise cared about Pansy! And now...and now...

There was Luna.

He took in an odd, shallow breath as he turned to face the village below him. Draco supposed he could hurry back to Madame Malkin's, run past the shop and catch up to Zabini and Luna and-

_And what, Draco? What the piss would you do then? _

Draco hesitated, confused at his erratic train of thought. It wasn't as if Luna had ever expressed an interest in anyone besides Blaise and Potter (of course).

_And when have you ever won over Zabini? What would a girl like Lovegood see in you that she hasn't already seen in him? _

As he stared down towards the village listlessly he could see Pansy moving up the hill towards him. She probably thought he was waiting for her and that was just fine with Draco.

_It isn't like you fancy Lovegood anyway, is it?_

Pansy was breathless when she reached the crest of the hill, giving him an odd look before pulling him down the lane that was a direct path towards Hogwarts.

_IS IT?_

Nothing answered Draco's troubling question.


	11. Invisible Boundaries

_Thank you for the reviews and faves/alerts. I haven't been here much lately but I do appreciate them all. Life has gotten busy but I do have a quick update. Hope you enjoy!_

_LCailan_

* * *

_**11. Invisible Boundaries**_

* * *

"_Woman reaches love through friendship; man reaches friendship through love." - Mohammed Hijazi_

* * *

Luna's head was so high in the clouds that she didn't even notice the looks from her girlfriends at supper the night of her first date with Blaise. She wasn't hungry but she dutifully picked at some mincemeat pie and sipped pumpkin juice, not saying anything while Ginny and Hermione looked on.

"So you actually did it?"

The question was odd, especially for Hermione, who was supposed to be brilliant. Luna paused.

"I said I would."

"You actually went on a date with Blaise Zabini."

Ginny sounded...well, if not shocked then almost...impressed. At least, that's what Luna hoped.

She nodded, taking another sip of juice.

"Yes."

"Did you go to Puddifoot's? I didn't see you there?"

Ginny's voice reflected an eagerness that implied she had been looking for her that afternoon. Luna thanked her lucky stars that Blaise had opted for something different.

"No, we went to Honeyduke's."

Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"That's an odd place for a date, isn't it? Was he ashamed to be seen with you, Luna?"

Luna sighed feeling increasingly frustrated with her friend, who managed to sound both reprimanding and appalled all at once.

"It wasn't like that. He said it was my choice and I like Sugar Quills."

Ginny waved this off, leaning across the table with a knowing smile.

"He's really handsome."

"Ginny!"

Hermione interrupted what Luna had hoped would be an understanding between herself and the red-haired Gryffindor. She so wanted someone to confide in - someone who wasn't going to judge her.

Ginny gave Hermione a look.

"Hermione, there's definitely truth to that and you know it. He IS handsome. Have you seen him in his Quidditch uniform?"

Hermione turned red.

"There's more to life than good looks!"

Ginny shrugged, tossing her waterfall of red hair over her shoulder.

"I didn't say there wasn't; I was just commenting on facts."

"Opinions, you mean."

Then, Hermione refocused her attention back on Luna.

"You really ought to be careful, Luna. Dating the enemy? He's a Slytherin and Draco Malfoy's best friend at that!"

Luna considered her juice-filled goblet for a few seconds, feeling an odd sensation at the mention of Draco's name.

"They're not exactly the best of friends though."

Hermione frowned, a flicker of confusion on her face.

"What's it matter? Friends or best friends? Point is, Lucius Malfoy tried to murder us last year! Or have you forgotten?"

Luna tried not to feel guilty, her eyes moving away from Hermione's reproachful gaze.

"No, of course I haven't."

"Next, you'll be telling us that Malfoy's a jolly bloke," Hermione muttered.

Luna felt a sudden flush rising up her neck and was thankful for the large, warm sweater she was wearing. Somehow, Hermione's mention made her think of the afternoon when she had danced with the hippogriffs. She still hadn't forgotten Draco's smile that day or his laugh. There was something about those moments that had spoken to Luna - but she couldn't go about saying so! It was obvious Hermione had already decided what was white and what was black. And that was sad.

"It was only a date, Hermione. It was just like it always is when I tutor him except this time we didn't talk about lessons. I'm not marrying him and I'm not planning on becoming a Death Eater. In fact, I don't think I could be one even if I wanted to since I'm sure they wouldn't forget that I was helping Harry last year. Besides I hear it hurts to take the Dark Mark."

Hermione sat back, shocked enough to give Luna a few moments to gather her things.

"I think I'd like to go to the library now."

Ginny frowned.

"It's Saturday night."

"Oh, I know," replied the dreamy-eyed Ravenclaw. "But I like the library when I'm the only one there. Not as many blibbering humdingers late at night."

For a moment Ginny remained seated but then she quickly stood to join Luna, eliciting a frown from Hermione.

"Oh? You too? I don't ever remember you spending a minute's time in the library on the weekend," she said.

Ginny bit her lip.

"There's a first time for everything!" she said and then yanked on Luna's jumper, pulling her away from the table.

Luna, feeling a bit exhilarated, as if sharing a secret with someone, waited for Ginny to speak. The girls were alone in the hallway outside the Great Hall when the redhead turned and offered Luna small grin.

"Is it official?"

"I-

"Did he kiss you?"

"I-"

"No?"

"I think I would know if he did."

"Why not?"

"I don't..."

"Do you like him?"

"Of course I like him. I've liked him for ages."

"Do you want to kiss him?"

"I suppose I do. One doesn't really know until it happens, don't you think?"

Ginny didn't know if she'd ever be able to figure Luna out.

* * *

The Monday following Hogsmeade weekend, Draco had abandoned Pansy and his other friends at dinner to head down to detention early. He knew Sprout would have a list of thing for him to do; she always did, and lately he had been doing things for Hagrid as well.

He thought if he got started early he would be finished early.

_Only four more weeks of this hell and then I'll be home for Christmas holiday._

He wondered briefly if his row with Blaise earlier that term had been worth all the trouble but Draco had never been more excited to spend a month with his parents. Shocked at this pathetic realization, he made his way through the snow-cleared path towards Hagrid's hut. The sky was clear; stars glittered high above him in the navy sky. Below him all the windows of the hut were lit up and smoke plumed from the chimney. It was almost...inviting. He paused at the crest of the hill for a moment staring down at the hut in the valley when something caught his attention.

There was faint wand light coming from the edge of the trees just beyond the pens where Hagrid kept his somewhat large menagerie of magical creatures. The light flickered and moved, indicating that it was most likely someone and not something. Curious in spite of himself, Draco took a slight detour, moving down the hill to his left towards the light.

It was irritating that he even cared. But what was truly irritating was the strange way his heart skipped a beat when he found the source of that light.

Luna Lovegood. He was uncertain as to why she made him feel such strange things but he didn't like it.

She stood on the edge of the blackened forest, her head cocked as if listening for something.

_Great, what sort of attack is coming now? Nargles? Wrackspurts? Nifflers? Merlin's beard-_

"Draco!"

Her voice rang out in the night, startling him. Seeing as he had been discovered and it was too late to turn back, Draco shrugged further into the warmth of his cloak and hurried to join her.

"Looking for wrackspurts?" he asked stopping before her.

Luna's eyes were round and too bright in the dim light and she offered him a distracted smile. She wore an oversized men's winter coat that she had decorated with bottle cap buttons. She was swimming in it and it made her look even tinier, if such a thing were possible.

"Nothing like that," she replied warmly.

"Oh."

"Lovely night for a detention, isn't it?"

"If you say so. Is that Hagrid's coat you're wearing?"

She glanced down at herself for a moment.

"Hagrid's coat? That's silly, isn't it? I'm sure Hagrid needs his coat since it is winter. This one belonged to my father."

Draco smirked down at her as she watched him curiously.

"Why do you ask?"

"I've never seen a man's winter cloak quite so decorated."

"Oh, Daddy thinks bottle caps bring good luck."

Draco wondered (not for the first time) how it was she could make the most absurd comment sound reasonable. He hoped the darkness hid his smile.

"I've never heard that," he challenged her.

Luna's eyes lit up as they always did when her interest was sparked.

"Oh, it is! Daddy did a two-page spread in last year's June edition on lucky charms! Bottle caps are known to-"

Her words were cut off suddenly and her head moved towards the dark path into the forest. In spite of himself, Draco turned his head as well but detected nothing in the forest but trees.

"Can you hear them?"

Luna's question was a whisper but it was lost in the night breeze.

"Hear what?"

She sighed as if disappointed.

"I know most people can't see them but I've read that if you stop and really listen you can hear them."

"I'm completely lost, Lovegood."

There was a pause and she looked up, searching his features for a moment before replying.

"Thestrals. You can hear them."

Draco narrowed his eyes, forgetting that he was supposed to hate arguing with her about anything.

"It doesn't compute. If one can't see a Thestral how is one supposed to hear it?"

Luna shrugged and then took a step into the forest, guided by her wand. Draco paused, uncertain about going into the Forbidden Forest, always reminded of that terrible detention in his first year.

"You sure you want to go in there, Lovegood?"

The smile she offered him when she turned seemed to calm his apprehension. There was some sort of magic in that smile; there had to be.

"Of course! Hagrid sent me out here to check on the Thestrals. It's my job because I'm one of the only students who can see them."

There was a solemnity with which she said those words and an endless sadness in her eyes. Forgetting he had a detention to serve, Draco followed her deeper into the woods.

* * *

Luna loved the Thestrals. She loved watching them from afar but more than that, she loved seeing them up close. They were some of the most beautiful, magical creatures she had ever seen. They were large and black as night but their eyes were white and shining, like beacons to those who needed them.

_And I have my mother to thank for my ability to see them._

Her heart constricted as it always did when she thought of her late mother.

There were four that night, but Luna was used to seeing small herds of them around the school property. As she tended to them she was always left breathless by their large yet delicate wings.

"Hey, Lovegood!"

Draco's voice broke into the spell of silence that had woven itself within the forest. Luna nearly jumped, having forgotten about him. The Thestrals began making chuffing noises, their eyes moving in Draco's direction, as if annoyed with him.

Luna turned.

"Shhh, you'll frighten them!"

Draco had apparently tired of waiting for her in the grove of trees and was now walking towards her, his winter cloak as black as the Thestrals themselves. She watched with some curiosity as Draco looked around, wondering if he might see what she saw but she was quickly reminded that it couldn't be.

"Tell me how a Thestral could possibly be frightened by a teenaged wizard?" he drawled with a smirk that almost always made his gray eyes light up.

"They're still just animals," she admonished, feeling her cheeks flushing.

Draco remained silent only for a few seconds.

"What do they look like? I've only ever read about them."

Luna was surprised that he sounded genuinely interested.

"Beautiful," she said breathlessly. "Tall and graceful with wide, gorgeous wings and strong legs. They're like the most amazing Patronus you could ever see! They remind me of winged horses from the fairy stories my mother-"

She fell silent, feeling her throat close up and couldn't say another word. Either Draco didn't care or he was sensitive enough not to force her to continue. Luna found the idea that he was sensitive quite odd.

"Have you ever wondered how bloody ironic it is that to see such beauty you have to witness a terrible tragedy first?"

"I think we shouldn't talk about this."

Luna couldn't help it; tears prickled her eyes as she stared up at Draco and she had to turn away because she didn't want anyone to see her cry. Least of all Draco Malfoy. The only person she had been able to share her tragedy with thus far had been Harry, because he had seen death as well. And a part of her new that Draco was being sincere; she had learned to read his expression during their increasingly frequent conversations. It was just that no one had ever really understood her and she wasn't going to start believing that Draco Malfoy might.

_Even if a tiny part of you wants him to_.

Luna shrugged off the absurd thought and then turned away from him to gather the feed buckets, suddenly wanting to be away from the boy in the long, black winter cloak. He made her think things she didn't want to think. Without responding to his question, Luna hurried back in the direction they had come, towards the clearing of trees that revealed the starry, night sky and Hagrid's hut in the near distance.

She hoped against hope that Draco had fallen back, had gotten lost, or maybe just gotten bored and gone on his way but he was right there and she was able to feel him as he reached to grab her hand.

"We shouldn't talk about what? Your mother being dead? Everyone knows that! It isn't some secret, is it?"

Luna whirled on him, gasping.

"Has anyone ever told you how terribly insensitive you are? Remember what you said to me that night last month in the greenhouse? I'm NOT your FRIEND so you don't GET to ask questions!"

Boy and girl stared at one another upset for very different reasons.

"And I apologized for all of that, didn't I? Wasn't good enough for you?"

Luna felt a very rare anger flood her heart.

"Just because you think you're the best thing that's ever happened to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry doesn't mean that you're beneath apologizing to all those you've hurt!"

"Please, spare me the talk, Lovegood. After all, you're practically dating the biggest wanker in the school!"

"At least he's sensitive! You might think differently but you've always been the bigger bully!"

Then she whirled around and began to stomp away from him, her fists clenched. She was halfway to Hagrid's when she heard his voice, strong and clear.

"You know, you've told me over and over about how I would never understand why you do the things you do or think what you do. But the first time someone actually wants to understand you all you can do is stomp away! Go ahead, Lovegood! See if I care!"

Luna's heart twitched at his words and the anger left her, her body feeling limp. She couldn't move and when she finally did she turned to find herself alone. Draco had gone.

* * *

Draco barreled through the doors of the boys' dormitory later that night, hoping everyone was already asleep so he could throw himself into bed and forget the growing feelings he was having for a girl who shouldn't have mattered.

The room was dark and most of the curtains around the beds were drawn. He could hear the terrible sound of Goyle's snoring in the far corner.

_Well, at least no one is awake._

Just as Draco finished changing into his night clothes he heard someone else walk into the room.

"Malfoy."

Draco groaned inwardly.

"Zabini."

Neither boy offered any other conversation and Draco crawled into his bed, yanking the curtains around himself. He closed his eyes and that's when he heard Zabini's low grumbling.

"Where the hell are my clean robes? Bloody hell, Luna can be so flighty sometimes!"

Draco wasn't sure if it was the disgust in Blaise's voice or the way he seemed to degrade his relationship with Luna to one of convenience. But suddenly he found himself out of bed and glaring at Zabini with pure contempt.

"You really are the world's most pretentious piece of shit, aren't you?" he hissed.

Blaise looked taken aback by Draco's anger and was unable to reply at first.

"What are you talking about?"

"Is that all Luna is to you? A sodding laundry service?"

Blaise opened his mouth (most likely) to defend himself but Draco refused to let him speak.

"She's a nice girl, you wanker! And she deserves for you to treat her that way! Why don't you open your eyes and stop being such an ass? She deserves so much better than you."

Black eyes met gray ones and neither refused to look away.

Blaise narrowed his eyes.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, mate."

"It's called decency. You should try it sometime."

Then Draco yanked two black robes lined with bright emerald and violently hurled them towards Blaise who stumbled backwards in surprise.

"And _no_, she didn't _forget_ your laundry, she just hung it on the wrong side of your bed, you blind _shit_."

He gave Blaise one last glare before pushing him aside and stalking out of the dormitory. The door slammed shut, waking all those who had been asleep.


	12. Raw

_I'm so appreciative of the support for this story. Here's the last update for awhile; I don't know when I'll have time to work on the next part although I do promise I haven't and won't give up on this story. It's just going to take more time with my hectic schedule. Enjoy! _

_LCailan_

* * *

_**12. Raw**_

* * *

"_All I know is a newfound grace,  
all my days, I'll know your face;  
all I know since yesterday is everything has changed." ~ Swift/Sheeran_

* * *

Draco spent the following two days alone, avoiding all of his housemates and Luna, too. On the second day he took his supper alone and then trudged down to the greenhouses after dark to continue his detention. Sprout had given him rolls of parchment on which she had written her inventory and he was to organize it all for her.

Better than sitting in the sodding common room and thinking about what Blaise is going to tell everyone.

_What is happening to me? _

The fact that Draco was unable to answer his own troubling question frightened him. What frightened him even more, however, was the fact that he was feeling things for Luna Lovegood – things that he wasn't able to deny anymore.

He glanced around the small room, as if in a daze, his heart pounding weirdly within him.

There was a little desk in the far room of the main greenhouse and there, Draco settled himself with quill and parchment. But he hadn't written a single word when the door behind him opened.

He turned and once again (Merlin, how he was starting to loathe it) his heart skipped a beat. Luna was walking towards him, shyly, clutching a beaten leather book to her chest. Draco quickly put on a mask of indifference hoping it would hide his growing feelings for the tiny girl with the flyaway hair.

"What do you want, Lovegood?"

His greeting was harsh and Luna stopped, watching him solemnly. Without a word she offered him the book she was holding. Draco stared down at it trying hard for a sneer but when he saw the cover his pretenses disappeared. It was a photo album and the photo on the cover was one of little Luna holding the hand of a woman who was clearly her mother. They were smiling and waving at the camera.

"W-what is this?"

He had lost his composure now and struggled to get it back but the small girl didn't seem to notice as she watched him serenely. Draco understood somehow that no one had ever looked at him with such clear trust in his whole life.

"You said you wanted to know me."

"I..."

Luna sighed.

"You either do or you don't. It's okay either way. I thought about what you said the other night and I wager you were right. If you want to know me, here I am."

Draco didn't say anything but at Luna's prompting, took the book from her and opened it up on his lap. She joined him and he felt the warmth of her body against his.

"Your mother?" he questioned, feeling distracted.

"Yes," Luna replied simply. "I saw her die when I was nine years old. She's the reason I can see Thestrals. I knew she was something special and I always tell myself that only my mother could leave me such a gift. I don't think daddy ever forgave himself for that day but no one ever blamed him. I wish he'd believe me."

Draco gazed at Luna in the dim lighting and everything about her peaceful expression told him that she believed what she said. He couldn't imagine not blaming someone if it had been his family but Luna...she was amazingly different.

"What was she like?" he found himself asking, never taking his eyes away from her heart shaped face, if only to prolong their moments together.

Luna began talking softly, her voice rising and falling as she told Draco of her mother. She spoke of a woman with flaxen hair who had eternal patience for her very odd husband and endless love for her little girl. She spoke of weekend trips to the seashore and of long, exciting fairy stories at bedtime. She spoke of a woman who had a laugh as powerful as any magic and a mind that was willing to believe in the unbelievable.

Draco found himself lost in Luna's recollections.

"Did your mother dance with hippogriffs too?"

Luna laughed softly.

"No, she didn't fancy dancing much. But once she tried to keep a gryndilow as a pet."

"Bloody hell, you can't do that!"

"She tried. Loads of people have, you know. She loved the merpeople; she wanted to be like them."

Draco raised one eyebrow but couldn't help offering her a smile.

"Your mother didn't live at the bottom of a lake, Lovegood."

Luna smiled back.

"I suppose she didn't but I think she probably wanted to. She studied Mermish."

"Why?"

Luna offered a tiny smile.

"I suppose at some point she wanted to really study the merpeople. She was fascinated with Selkies; she and daddy took trips to Scotland loads of times just so she could do research. Sometimes they would spend hours searching the beaches there for Selkie pebbles. She wanted a necklace just like theirs."

Draco nodded.

"She would have loved Hogwarts. Those damned Selkies are taking over the lake. You can't even take a bloody swim without wondering if they're going to attack."

"They won't attack if you don't attack them."

Luna looked around dreamily.

"Did you know that Selkie hair and teeth have magical powers? Legend says that if you managed to get a bit of both you could swim as well as they do?"

"No, but then again I haven't been keeping up with the Quibbler."

Draco's voice was wry but Luna, as usual did not quite pick up on it.

"Oh, you should. Daddy knows what he's talking about."

Then there were long moments of Luna's hypnotic voice telling Draco about the merits of merpeople and their very secretive habits and rituals. He wasn't certain he was grasping everything she told him but he was wondering one thing.

When had Luna Lovegood become so beautiful?

When she finished speaking of her mother's adventures, the tiny girl's smile faltered and that was when she began to speak of the most difficult thing of all.

"I wasn't supposed to be in daddy's workshop, I remember that."

Luna was running her fingers along the bindings of her old photo book.

"Daddy always warned me not to go up there. There was always some sort of experiment going on but one morning I knew Mama had been up there."

She paused thoughtfully, and Draco studied her profile for a few, silent seconds. Luna looked miles away.

"What was it?" he asked. "A curse...or a spell? Or was it one of those...gadgets your father was always working on?"

It seemed so odd to Draco that he was sitting there with Luna Lovegood, discussing her past. Luna turned her head to give him a small shrug.

"It was some sort of rare magic, I think. I don't remember exactly but mum was always experimenting with little used spells. I just...remember seeing her working on something and her wand - whatever spell she had cast..."

In spite of the unpleasant recollection of memories, Draco though Luna looked as serene as she ever had. He hung his head, unable to look at her for a few moments.

"I'm sorry," he finally offered.

But Luna was smiling when he looked back up.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault and she's left me a beautiful gift to remember her by. Each time I take care of the Thestrals I think of her."

Draco stared at Luna for a moment not sure whether to laugh or to cry. He had never, ever met a girl like Lovegood. The mere thought that she existed – and she was next to him, sharing with him her thoughts, her goodness, her inner light – took his breath away.

Luna seemed oblivious to Draco's emotional struggle and was looking around the greenhouse curiously.

"It's a lovely night, isn't it?"

He had long ago gotten used to the way Luna was. Life was fascinating and beautiful to her; she appreciated it all. And despite the cold, snow and detention, Draco couldn't think of a place he would have rather been.

_One of the loveliest nights I've ever had._

He was afraid to say those words to her and so they lapsed into companionable silence. He nearly choked, however, when she asked her next question.

"What is your father like?"

"What?"

"Your father, what is he like?"

"Luna, my father tried to murder you in the Department of Mysteries last year, how can you ask about what he's like?"

Luna gave him an odd sort of look.

"Because I'm certain that's not what he's like when he's at home with you and your mother."

Draco's mouth fell open in shock.

"I am not having this conversation with you."

Luna sighed.

"Why is it that everything is always so black and white? Did you ever wonder that? People aren't all good and they're not all bad. I bet even Voldemort-"

Draco grabbed her hand suddenly, his jaw tense. He couldn't deny the sudden shock that rushed through him, awakening his senses. He hoped she wouldn't notice how their touching affected him.

"I told you, we are not having this conversation."

Thankfully, Luna fell silent but he sensed a disappointment in her. It was silent but it was there. For a moment their hands remained clasped and then Draco let go of her fingers, as if burned, feeling his heart jump into his throat at their short-lived contact. He was left reeling at the softness of her touch.

"Cold," he muttered turning away from her, hiding from her those things he was afraid to express. "My father is cold. He's smart, ambitious and tenacious but he's cold."

Draco could feel Luna's eyes on him as he spoke but he would not look at her.

"I remember good times, parties and meetings when I was young. My father would entertain in the foyer and my mother would...she was so good at being the center of attention."

Luna sighed, swinging her feet to and fro.

"That sounds lovely, actually. We never had parties, not really. I think daddy's ingenious but loads of people think he's odd."

Draco bit back his remark about old Xeno Lovegood being batty. Somehow it didn't seem the right response. Instead he was silent for a moment before replying.

"I know they love me but sometimes..."

He faded away, searching for the right words.

"When Pansy and I broke up last year they never said a word. I know my father thought it was a good match but it was like they didn't care."

Luna turned to gaze at him for a moment.

"Maybe they know how strong you are."

"I'm a coward, Luna. I let her...I should have told her how I felt and I let her get away."

Their eyes met for a long while and Draco felt a bit dizzy at how close Luna was sitting. One movement in her direction, just a brush of his fingers against her cheek-

Her words cut into his strange musings.

"You should forgive Pansy."

Draco bristled at this, feeling an odd, sick feeling wash over him. His sudden affection for Luna was washed away by resentment.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They didn't do it to hurt you. Pansy's not strong like you are. Blaise is sorry it even happened."

The peacefulness of the evening was gone. Draco felt a roiling disgust in his stomach and he could hardly get the words out. He was shocked and sickened by the fact that Luna knew everything. She hadn't given him details, but she knew. Blaise had told her. His face burning with shame and hatred and his mind reeling with confusion, the blond boy jumped to his feet, knocking Luna's precious album to the dusty floor without a thought.

"I can't believe this! I can't believe he bloody TOLD YOU!"

He clenched his fists so tightly they hurt. Trying to analyzing his storm of emotions was nearly impossible in the face of his growing anger. But something in his stomach twisted with jealousy.

Luna looked at him with complete calmness.

"Why wouldn't he?"

There was so much more in that statement than she expressed. Draco wanted to scream. Her statement spoke of trust, confidence and a closeness she felt to Blaise. Blaise, of all fucking people.

He did his best to take a deep breath but it was difficult.

"You're right, why wouldn't he? And truthfully, I couldn't give a damn about what you talk to Blaise about, Lovegood. Now, if you don't mind, I have a detention to finish."

Draco's cold and dismissive words masked the fury just beneath the surface. The tiny girl looked pensive for a moment and then sad the next, her eyes flickering with something that darkened them slightly.

"If you still love Pansy you should forgive at least her."

Draco's face was marred with a dark scowl.

"Oh, do you think so?" he spat. "Well, I'll have you know that I don't give a pixie's piss what you think! And I'm certainly not going to share with you how I feel about anything."

Luna stood, shaking her head and then she bent slowly to retrieve her photo book. She then began to brush it free of the dirt.

"I'm sorry," was all she said.

"Sorry?"

His voice was thick with disdain.

"You're sorry, are you? For what? Are you sorry that your new boyfriend betrayed me by fucking my girlfriend behind my back?"

He watched, half-ashamed, as Luna winced just slightly at his crude language. But the pain that he had been holding back for what seemed like ages was impossible to hold back. He wanted her to feel that pain, too. And he didn't even know why.

"Or maybe you're sorry that you haven't been to bed with him yet? Hell, what am I saying? Of course you have! Merlin knows he'll sleep with anything that walks."

Luna said nothing for awhile, her face having gone pale white. Somehow, in spite of Draco's best efforts and his growing rage, she seemed unflappable in her response.

"No, I'm sorry because you've allowed all that hatred to blind you. I'm sorry you can't find any peace, Draco. You've allowed it to blind you from those things that could be good."

Draco felt his anger growing, a stark contrast to Luna's serenity.

"Don't you feel sorry for me! I'm just bloody fine! And it's rather ironic that you'd call me blind."

He stood, his body stiff, and stalked as far away from her as he could, turning only to point a trembling finger at her.

"Everything was fine until you showed up, Lovegood! You're the one who messed everything up! How could anyone think that a Slytherin would ever go for someone like you? You really think that you're...you're..."

His voice was strained and Draco no longer really knew if he was talking about Blaise or himself.

_Too good, Luna, you're too good. And I am a fool for noticing too little, too late._

He wanted to weep as Luna watched him with the oddest expression - something between pity and sadness.

"I'm what? I thought I was your friend."

Draco flung his hands out, feeling like she had socked him in the gut. The pain he suddenly felt couldn't be put to description. Still, he fought through it, masking it with more disgust. His voice, when he found it, was a hiss.

"You're no friend of _mine_. So long as you associate with _him._"

"That's so sad," she half-whispered.

Draco glared at her.

"Get out and don't come back. There's nothing left here, is there? You go ahead and forgive whoever the fuck you want! I'm not like you, Lovegood. I can't see the good you see. I don't even know why you bothered coming here."

She only watched him and Draco wanted to cry.

"He'll use you like he used all the others. You'll see. And then it'll be too late."

He turned away from Luna so she wouldn't see his eyes watering. Her soft voice floated on the air much like the notes to a beautiful song.

"You're right, Draco. I'm not like you at all."

He stood like that for a long time, head hanging and bone-white fingers gripping one of the old, wooden tables in the back of the greenhouse. He wondered if she was still standing behind him but from the corner of his eye he spied the faint blue of wand light as it moved further away from the greenhouses.

He was alone. It was silent and the night was still because when a heart broke, it made no sound.


	13. Shattered

_Yes, I have been MIA. Life is super busy lately. I hope you enjoy this long-coming update. The chapter is a chain of sorts - both Draco and Luna's thoughts and feelings. I don't know when I'll update again but I'm so happy everyone is enjoying!_

_LCailan_

* * *

_**13. Shattered**_

* * *

"_I keep myself busy with things to do;_

_But each time I pause I still think of you".~ Anon_

* * *

Luna stared down at the frosty grounds of Hogwarts from a tiny window high up in the Astronomy tower. There was no light here but the eerie glow of the moon which made the snow below her glitter as if it were adorned with thousands of diamonds. She saw the beautiful sight and at the same time she was blind to it as well, her mind heavy with the burden of pain and swirling with thoughts of uncertainty.

_You're no friend of mine._

It was odd, really, the pain of rejection that she had felt when Draco had uttered those icy words. She trembled slightly.

_Why do I care? Did I truly hold him in esteem? Did I think he might be my friend?_

It was silent, as most students were in their beds, even the ones who enjoyed a good snog session in the dark corners of the tower. Luna was alone and no one answered her unasked question.

_What made me think he cared for me at all? _

She felt a strange wave of confusion and sadness wash over her and finally after what seemed like hours, Luna turned and slowly trudged back down the staircase, successfully holding back her tears of anger and frustration.

* * *

All was silent when Draco returned to the common room later that night. His eyes were dry and burned with each blink and he felt more exhausted than he remembered ever being. It was odd but after Luna's departure from the greenhouse he had a hard time recollecting where the time had gone.

_Midnight._

The shadows swathed the green and silver furniture and the only light came from the fire in the hearth. It cast odd shadows against the tapestry laden stone walls. He almost didn't see her until she spoke his name.

"Draco."

Pansy sat on the sofa to the left of the fire, her legs tucked under her body. She wore a pair of satin pajamas and her hair fell around her thin shoulders. This had always been the way he had liked her best; Pansy was a beautiful girl without all the makeup and frills.

_Just like Luna._

Draco wondered when he had begun to think that.

He walked across the room, attempting to feign indifference whilst lowering himself onto the sofa opposite of Pansy. He stared broodingly at the flickering flames for a few long moments.

"What are you doing still awake?"

He hoped his voice did not betray the feelings within because he couldn't deal with them quite yet. He was too tired.

"Too much on my mind."

Pansy's voice was weak and it trembled. His heart beat oddly within his chest and the pain he was in seemed to mute that of those around him. Sighing he lay his head back against the plush sofa.

"Join the sodding club," was all he muttered.

The fire crackled around them and it was the only sound for a long while. He heard the sound of Pansy moving and his eyes shifted towards her as she stood up, staring lamely at the fire for a few moments. She looked small and lost.

"I suppose I should believe in karma," she finally said, her voice breaking. "You get back what you give. I did a terrible thing to you. And now Theo's left me."

And with that, she walked towards the staircase that led up to the girl's dormitory and disappeared, leaving Draco alone.

* * *

It wasn't like the world changed at all.

Draco spent the night waiting for dawn and then went down to the Great hall for breakfast just like any other day. The mood all around him was one of excitement and anticipation. There were only four days until Christmas holiday began and classes were nearly done. The last Quidditch game of the term would be played that night and then Slytherin House was planning a party (unbeknownst to the professors) like they always did. The tables were laden with milk, juice, porridges and Christmas treats. Like always, the room was full of massive, brightly decorated trees (indeed, each house had their own themed tree) and the ceilings glimmered with lights and icicles. Students mingled together here and there, exchanging pleasantries and small gifts.

Like fucking always.

Except that things weren't the same at all.

Pansy and Theo did not come down to breakfast. Draco sat alone because he had alienated himself from his friends (other than Pansy). He felt a weird churning in his belly and thought he might be physically sick but still he took slow, mechanical bites of his tasteless breakfast. There was an odd hush that had fallen upon the Slytherin tables. It was almost like those around him knew that something had changed.

For the first time since the beginning of the school year - hell - since the morning Pansy had told him the truth about her one night with Blaise, Draco understood that he would once more have what he had wanted all along. Pansy would be his, sooner or later. She was hiding now, licking her wounds but soon enough she would emerge, head held high, as if nothing could hurt her. But Draco knew better. He had seen the look in her eyes the night previous and knew how much pain Theo had caused her.

_And you care because? Hasn't she hurt you just as terribly?_

It was true and Draco had at one time been willing to let bygones be bygones - providing that Pansy was his. But _now_ he knew he didn't _really_ want her anymore. His heart - or whatever was left of it - wasn't in it.

_And she couldn't really want me! She'll have me and I'll take her because it is the right thing to do, but-_

He didn't _want_ her.

And as Draco managed a swallow of porridge just past the lump in his throat, his reason - _she_ - walked into the room.

* * *

Luna had awoken the following morning to excited chatter of the girls around her as they got ready for their day. She lay in bed, pretending to be asleep until the dormitory was empty and the rose and mechanically got ready, pulling her hair into pigtails and securing them with red and green ribbons. She added cheery looking earrings to her attire and shrugged on her long school robe.

She forced a smile and the girl in the mirror certainly looked merry and bright but Luna certainly didn't _feel_ that way. He smile faded as she grabbed her school books and clutched them to her chest, hurrying down the spiral stairway towards the Ravenclaw common room. It was blessedly empty and Luna took in a shaky breath as her mind wandered once more - for the thousandth time - to the way Draco had looked at her the night before. She recalled the way he had smiled at her and the pleasant silences between them. She even recalled the closeness, a closeness she hadn't felt until that moment.

_You're no friend of mine._

The whimsical blonde girl lifted her chin up, forcing it not to tremble.

_I need to stop this! He's nothing to me! Nothing! He never was and he never will be. I won't even think of him! _

With a determined glare, Luna stepped out of the common room into the cool, drafty corridor where Blaise stood, waiting for her.

"Luna, love!"

"Funny, running into you here."

Blaise gave her a look of confusion.

"We always meet Tuesday mornings."

Luna blinked, studying him quizzically.

"So we do."

"You alright this morning. You look a bit peaked?"

"It's just the blibbering hummdingers, I'm sure. They're able to confuse me more on an empty stomach."

Blaise gave her an odd look and then smiled.

"Well, then why don't we go have some breakfast?"

He offered her his arm and Luna took it, wondering why she didn't feel as elated as she imagined herself being. As Blaise began a conversation about what she thought were the details of Quidditch, her mind was far away, focused on a different boy.

* * *

It was like a living nightmare for Draco.

Luna Lovegood stood in the Great Hall on Blaise's arm. Clearly, they had come to eat together.

Much too Draco's horror, his nemesis made a bee line for the Slytherin tables and Luna happily followed, chattering away about something that was drowned out by the sound of the crowd. She wore her usual school uniform underneath her long robe and her hair was tied back in two pigtails that hung down her back. Her ribbons were red and green and her earlobes were adorned with sparkling earrings. She was clearly talking about something she was passionate about for Draco now knew the signs: her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks were pink. She looked lovely.

Merlin, he loathed her and yet at the same time he-

The blond Slytherin scrambled to his feet in a most ungraceful manner and lurched forward, nearly spilling his milk just as they joined him. Blaise's look was one of satisfaction and Luna offered an uncertain smile even though the blond boy refused to look at her, glaring offensively at his darker-skinned housemate.

Blaise grinned.

"You leaving, mate?"

"I can't stay as the company is starting to become rather nauseating."

Draco hated the words - loathed them - but he spoke them just the same, his heart deadened to emotion. It wasn't like Luna had ever wanted him anyhow. So what did it matter?

"I don't eat with freaks."

He hoped that all the pain he was feeling was hidden by the open disdain with which he glared at the blonde haired witch. He wanted to humiliate her, to make her suffer. But Luna only gazed back at him silently, her clear blue-gray eyes filled with sympathy and Draco felt such anger and frustration he wanted to rip her apart.

He moved forward just as Blaise stepped in front of Luna.

"I don't believe you. Just the other night you were defending her."

"I don't know what you're bloody talking about."

"Don't you? Because I remember you being extremely angry about how I was treating Luna, or are you going to deny that?"

Draco offered a short laugh.

"You're mad if you think I ever said anything like _that."_

The two boys regarded each other for a few seconds, the tension so thick one could slice it with a knife. One was pale with barely contained anger and the other wore a look of smug satisfaction.

"Well, regardless of our conversation the other day, I want to thank you, mate. You were right; I do need to respect Luna more. She _is_ a nice girl."

Blaise took Luna's hand. Draco felt an overwhelming urge to vomit as he saw his nemesis smile widely.

"And I plan on making sure that I deserve her."

It was obvious to anyone with eyes how Luna's face lit up at the words. Draco didn't realize that his already broken heart could ache even _more._

_I really fucked up this time. _

He gave Blaise a hard shove.

"Good, you do whatever you want. I don't give a piss. I've never given a piss, or are you to bloody stupid to understand that, Blaise? You are nothing to me, nothing since you chose to betray me. Get the hell out of my way!"

Draco stalked away from the couple, turning only to offer them a nasty look.

"And I wouldn't look so pleased if I were you. After all, you're only getting a _freak_. Nothing more."

Then he was gone.

* * *

It was his eyes, Luna decided.

She was walking alongside the lake, the churning waters to her right and Blaise, wearing his best winter cloak, to her left.

His eyes had been so _hurt_. So hurt.

_Freak._

The look on Draco's face when he had uttered that word had been enough to remind Luna of the way Lucius Malfoy had gazed at her that night in the Department of Mysteries. Then she had been afraid. This time she was sad; it was much more personal. It hurt.

She glanced up at Blaise's handsome profile.

"Do you think I'm a freak?"

She hadn't meant to ask the question and Luna felt sorry almost immediately. Blaise was not Draco and she wasn't entirely certain that she trusted him the way-

_I have to stop this! It isn't like I trust Draco, is it? Blaise is the one I've wanted since summer holiday! I have to-_

Blaise had turned and trained his dark eyes on Luna.

"What?"

"It's nothing."

He stopped her, a curious look on his dark features. Luna searched his lean features as he spoke.

"Luna, don't let Malfoy get to you. He's a prat; everyone knows that."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Well, I should have known you'd say that. You think everyone's nice."

"Why not? Why would anyone want to live in a world where they think everyone is a horrible person?"

"Because some people-"

He stopped and Luna wondered why he looked so bewildered but shrugged it off. Blaise was silent for a moment before finally replying.

"Just don't worry about him."

Luna was thoughtful for a few moments.

"I think he probably didn't mean it," she finally decided. "You used to call me names before and look at us now!"

Luna smiled up at Blaise dreamily but she thought he looked a bit odd - sort of the way her father had looked several years before after an incident gone wrong involving an Erumpet horn. She shrugged it off though and then pointed to the freshly fallen snow.

"I think I'll make a snowman now."

She moved towards the shoreline, leaving a very confused Blaise in her wake.

* * *

Draco had expected that when he finally saw Pansy again the pain that he had seen in her eyes two nights before would be gone.

He was wrong.

_Maybe it's too much to hide?_

Pansy had avoided him the entire day, slipping out of classes quickly and skipping meals (or taking them when no one was around). When the last lesson of the day was over the mood at Hogwarts was one of excitement. As Draco walked down the corridor after his Potions lesson he saw her standing near one of the staircases past the entrance to their common room. The shadows around them did little to hide her pain. She was watching him silently, dark lines shading the area around her eyes which were muted with anguish. A look passed between them, an understanding that meant more than any words would have.

"I'm sorry."

Draco thought the words sounded hollow but Pansy pressed her lips together, looking away. He had never seen her look so weary.

"Don't, Draco."

It was as if he were dreaming, the way his hand reached out to touch her shoulder and the way Pansy flinched for a moment before leaning into his hand.

"I'm not," he found himself saying, as he gently guided her into the circle of his arms. For a long time he held her while she sobbed.

* * *

Luna looked around the hallways wearing a little smile while Blaise was talking. She wasn't quite certain what he was saying except that it had something to do with Quidditch. Luna liked Quidditch but she was finding that with Blaise it was not just a love of the sport but something more. It was all he talked about and she found it a bit boring.

_I suppose this is a fair tradeoff. I get Blaise and have to listen to him go on about the same thing. It isn't a real problem. You just have to get him to talk about something else, that's all._

She found herself leaning into him, offering up a dreamy smile.

"Don't you think it's lovely the way the castle gets decorated for Christmas?"

Blaise stopped in mid-sentence, looking at her with bewilderment.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"Oh, I've _heard_ more than one word; I'm just not sure what you've _said_."

For a moment he looked a bit irritated, sort of like Draco did during their conversations, but soon enough he offered a half-smile, shaking his head.

"I was asking you if you're coming to the game tomorrow afternoon. I won't be leaving for holiday until after."

"I think I should be able to make that. I was going to go Nargle hunting in the morning. Wouldn't that be a fun date?"

Blaise gave her a look that anyone else would have taken as one of horror.

"I sleep in the mornings."

Luna shrugged.

"I know some do. Do you suppose we will go on a date after your game?"

Blaise offered a laugh.

"You are something else, has anyone ever told you that?"

Luna considered the question for a moment, cocking her head so her tree earrings danced.

"Yes, actually. One afternoon I was trying to help Draco with his detention and he said I ate like an ogre. He didn't actually call me one though so it isn't like he thought I _was_ something else, you know?"

Blaise paused mid-step and then turned, looking at Luna curiously.

"You talk about Malfoy a whole lot."

Luna shrugged.

"My schedule is pretty busy most days and between classes and helping the professors I don't see many people. I've seen Draco a lot since he's been serving Professor Sprout's detentions."

Blaise watched her closely.

"Is that reason for all this talk? It almost seems like you fancy him."

"I fancied him my friend," replied Luna honestly. "Everyone says he's a horrid person but I thought he was different. Everyone also thinks you're horrid and I haven't listened to them. I think everyone deserves the same sort of courtesy, don't you think?"

Blaise shook his head, trying to follow her conversation.

"So...you _don't_ fancy him?"

Luna sighed.

"He's not who I thought he was."

"Because all those things I said in the Great Hall are true."

There was a silence between them and Blaise's voice died in the empty hallway.

"What things?"

"He was angry with me for treating you so badly."

"Odd."

"Why?"

"He treated me pretty badly too."

"Well, I know I made a mistake, Luna."

But Luna was looking past him, towards the large, wide windows that overlooked the Hogwarts grounds, a curious look on her tiny features. She thought about all the things Draco had told her in the last few months.

"You know, I was never angry about helping you with your lessons. Or even cleaning your robes. I know it sounds silly but I liked doing those things."

She trained her strange, blue-gray eyes on Blaise now.

"You were the first person to notice me for who I was."

"And I acted like a right prick."

"Who decided that being a prick was bad?"

"I'll make it up to you."

Luna felt an odd shiver go through her at the touch of Blaise's hand. This was what she had been daydreaming about for ages! It felt nice, she realized. But not the way she thought it should have felt. But Luna let Blaise hold her hand anyway and they made their way along the corridor that led to the spiral staircase at the base of Ravenclaw Tower. Then the tall, dark-skinned Slytherin boy stopped and squeezed Luna's hand for a silent moment.

The blonde girl felt like she was in a dream as she gazed down at her hand so closely clasped with his and then up at his smiling face.

"Will you go Nargle hunting with me?"

He laughed.

"If it helps make up for the way I've acted, I will."

"I think you might like it; I've wanted to do it for quite some time and it's a lovely time."

Just as she began to speak about details of the hunt Luna noticed the way Blaise was gazing at her, his smile warm and his eyes darkening.

"You know what else I think might be a lovely time?"

Luna blinked, feeling suddenly warm at his invasive gaze. His fingers came up and entangled themselves in the fine wisps of her ashen blonde hair and Luna felt something in the pit of her stomach turn to mush. Her eyes widened in wonder.

_He's going to kiss me! My first kiss! _

Time seemed to stop as Blaise leaned down towards her. She waited, alive with anticipation, excitement and apprehension. Her heart hammered within her chest, her mouth grew dry and her skin burned.

_Is this the feeling Ginny talks about all the time? This feeling like I'm coming down with some horrible sickness? _

A part of Luna waited breathlessly in that timeless moment. But another, hidden part analyzed the situation as if she wasn't there. Was this how she was supposed to feel? Was she supposed to feel a strange sense of uncertainty? Was it possible that someone could want something nearly as much as they _didn't_ want it?

Luna wasn't sure of any answers and she felt dizzy at the woodsy scent of Blaise's aftershave.

"Guess yet?" he teased in a warm voice that made Luna tingle all the way to her toes. She looked at him with wide eyes.

Luna felt his fingers wrap around her clammy hands, squeezing them as he pulled her closer.

"H-hunting Crumpled Horn Snorkacks?" she squeaked out, and Blaise's laugh sounded like warmed caramel.

"You are the quirkiest girl I know," he replied, shaking his head as his fingers brushed along Luna's cheek.

"That's an odd compliment, isn't it?" she managed her reply but it didn't matter suddenly as her eyes fluttered shut and she felt his breath against her lips.

And that was when a terrible crash broke them apart.

* * *

Draco's heart raced as he stared towards the fallen statue of Gregory the Smarmy.

The fifth floor had been empty. Some classes had not yet been let out but he had known Luna's schedule. He had known she would be heading back to her common room to drop off her books before heading down towards the Forbidden Forest to help Hagrid.

His face flushed with anger.

What he hadn't counted on was that Luna wouldn't be alone. And he had wanted her to be alone. He had wanted to go up to her and tell her he hadn't meant to say those-

_I need to stop this! What the piss would I do? This is insane! Did I really think she would ever see me as anything but a sodding prat? What was I thinking?!_

And yet, there he was, pressed up against one of the walls on the fifth floor corridor, seething with anger at what he had almost witnessed between her and Zabini.

_It's just a temporary insanity is all. I don't really fancy her. I can't; it makes no sense!_

But Draco couldn't bring himself to turn and walk away. He stared towards Zabini with disgust. He had nearly _kissed_ her! His stomach turned at the thought.

Draco should have been out with his friends, celebrating the end of lessons for that term. He should have been thinking about the upcoming holiday. He should have been thinking about the fact that his detentions were finally over and soon he'd get to play Quidditch again.

_But I'm not._

Instead, he was hiding like a fool, casting curses at a bleeding _statue_ to keep Luna and Blaise from kissing.

He blinked, feeling pathetic but there was a tiny stirring of triumph in his heart all the same.

_It worked!_

He stared up at the couple who was now looking around the corridor, Luna looking curious and perplexed and Zabini wearing a dark scowl. Draco smirked in spite of his anger.

_Take that, you self-righteous wanker._

Draco waited a few more moments but it was evident that his diversion had served its purpose. With one last glance, he turned and hurried away.

* * *

"What the piss just happened?" Blaise asked, frowning like a little boy whose favorite toy had been taken away.

Luna looked around the empty corridor and took a breath, not seeing Blaise's look. It felt strange, she mused. There had been one moment where she was suspended timelessly and then in the next she had crashed just as hard as the broken statue behind them. The sound still echoed in her ears.

"Odd..."

The corridor beyond the fallen statue was empty and yet, Luna felt an odd sort of stirring in the air around them. She wondered if it was someone or if the statue had chosen to fall over itself. Things like that happened, after all. She had read about it The Quibbler.

"Who's there?" Blaise called out, his wand aloft.

Luna watched him as he stalked towards the statue and then spoke up.

"You know, statues can fall on their own. They're alive just like you and I. It's just a different sort of living. I've read about it."

"Don't be daft!" he said turning to nearly glare at her. "Statues aren't alive! Someone was _spying_."

"It's true! The Quibbler did a whole article about it. And besides, who'd want to spy on _us_?"

Blaise looked at Luna with an incredulous expression as she gazed back with curiosity.

"Don't you know who I am?"

"You're just Blaise. You're just like any other boy at Hogwarts."

He snorted, rolling his eyes.

"No matter, I'll find the sod who was spying on us. Just you wait. I'll see you later, Luna."

Then he was moving quickly down the corridor, ignoring the fallen statue. Luna stood in the silent corridor for a long time after Blaise's footsteps faded away, staring curiously at the fallen statue.

Then she moved to slowly pick up the pieces, wondering why she felt both that lustful stirring in the pit of her belly at the thought of kissing Blaise and sweet relief that he _hadn't _kissed her.

What was wrong with her? Why was she afraid?

He troubled mind dimmed the usual joy that Luna found in life. As she moved towards Ravenclaw Tower, her mind was once more on a blond Slytherin boy who clearly had never considered her a friend or anything at all.


	14. Longing

_Guys, I'm back! Sorry this took so long and I hope this chapter makes up for my delay in updating. I don't know when the next one will be up but I do hope you enjoy this one!_

_LCailan_

* * *

**14. Longing**

* * *

_Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: "Why can't you see who I truly am?" ~ Shannon L. Alder_

* * *

Luna remained in a strange fog the rest of the afternoon that followed the incident with poor Gregory the Smarmy. Unable to concentrate she had returned to her dormitory and curled up with a book she could not actually read. A part of her believed that the statue may have fallen itself, as she believed wholeheartedly that inanimate objects in a magical world could move about if they so wished but had chosen not to do so.

Or perhaps Blaise had been right. But who would have spied on them? Another girl? Would Luna now be the focus of scrutiny because Blaise had seemingly chosen her over one of the more popular girls from Slytherin House?

Luna paused, gazing down at herself thoughtfully.

He robes were wrinkled and her favorite red sweater was just a touch too big and she hadn't quite mastered the art of a sewing charm. Did she really think she could compete with the Greengrass sisters? Or Pansy who had already bedded Blaise? Still, the memory of his aftershave and his warm breath against her lips gave Luna confidence. Why would he want to kiss her if he didn't like her?

A nervous flutter filled Luna's belly as she shifted atop her bed and stared up at the dormitory ceiling. Despite the pleasant yet anxious feeling churning within her, she was still unable to get Draco Malfoy off her mind and this - even more so than her apprehension about getting her first kiss from a boy she really liked - was frustrating to her.

Why was she still thinking of Draco? Why did his words continue to haunt her?

She sat up suddenly, hair tumbling down around her back.

_I've got to stop this!_

Frustrated, Luna stood and pulled at a lock of her ashen blond hair.

"This won't do," she muttered under her breath, pushing all thoughts of the silver-eyed Slytherin from her mind. "If I want Blaise, I'll have to be what he wants. And I can't do that on my own."

With a renewed sense of determination, Luna rushed out of the dormitory, down the stairs and out of Ravenclaw Tower.

* * *

Luna studied herself in the long mirror in the mirror of the Gryffindor girls' dormitory. The youngest Weasley stood behind her, scrutinizing both of their reflections.

"You look stunning, you know," Ginny reminded from behind her. "Just like a princess from those Muggle fairy stories my Mum used to read me."

It was true. Ginny had managed to perfect a curling charm and Luna's hair was pinned to her head in a tousled fashion with sparkling clips.

Luna nodded solemnly, not used to looking so...pretty.

"I look the same as I always do except better, which I suppose can't be a bad thing."

Ginny looked at her friend, a puzzled expression on her face.

"So why do you keep looking at yourself like something's wrong?"

"I don't really know. Something_ feels_ different."

Ginny grinned knowingly, her eyes sparkling.

"You're just nervous!"

"About what?"

"It's the final feast! You want to look good for Blaise. I know how that feels," Ginny said with a nod. "But we have to remember that boys don't notice the things that girls do. He'd be crazy not to love you just as you are. You're three times the person those Slytherin girls are and you're just as lovely."

Luna turned and gave Ginny a solemn look. Then she looked down at the dress robes she was wearing, white ones with lace lining she had borrowed from the red-haired Gryffindor. Still something in the back of her mind didn't feel right. She was just having trouble expressing it to her friend. It was as if Nargles were attacking her mind.

"I really do believe that. It's just...sometimes...I'm not like they are. I'm not-"

_Can you be like them, Lovegood?_

Draco's uninvited voice entered her mind; she recalled the almost nasty tone he had used with her the night they had talked about what it meant to be Slytherin. She had felt uncertain then and now...

Ginny was watching her closely.

"You don't have to be like them. You should be who you are and Blaise will love it."

The blonde girl looked up and stood incredibly still, a faraway look in her eyes. She only spoke after what seemed like minutes of silence.

"How did you know you fancied Dean?"

Ginny's brown furrowed, not truly surprised at the question. When it came to Luna, one had to expect...well, one had to be prepared for anything.

"I've...never really thought about it, I suppose. I always thought he was kind and interesting to chat with. And he was always so helpful in lessons. Oh! And he made me laugh sometimes. He liked to tease me too and at first it was a bit irritating but then I realized...that it only meant he liked me."

Then Ginny smiled, her cheeks flushing prettily.

"I think I knew though when I was able to share things with him that I hadn't with other people."

"Secrets?"

"Sometimes, but...not always. I felt so comfortable with him, like I could tell him anything."

Luna nodded and offered her own dreamy smile.

"I wonder if I'll ever experience that," she said aloud, something stirring in the pit of her belly. Something that made her feel strange and warm as she pictured Draco's face the night she had revealed the story about her mother. "It would be..."

She faded away, shocked by her own realization.

The dormitory was silent and all that could be heard was the distant sound of jovial Gryffindors heading to and fro to their various destinations. Luna felt her heart hammering in every inch of her and the realization that had fallen upon her made her feel both ill and elated, terrified and more certain than she had ever felt in her life.

_Draco._

Luna, shocked into silence, barely heart Ginny's voice, for it was muffled by the sudden ringing in her ears.

"You will one day."

Luna nodded, taking a deep breath.

_I've got to find Draco._

She was unable to focus on anything in particular and her disjointed thoughts seemed to bubble to the surface.

"Blaise and I nearly kissed this afternoon," she said then.

Ginny turned to her friend, grinning.

"It's about time! He'd be bloody crazy _not_ to want to kiss you!"

"I'm not sure I want him to."

"You're just nervous! You'll be fine, I promise."

"I've never kissed anyone before."

"You need to start sometime, right? It just takes practice."

Luna watched her friend continue out into the corridor but she stopped knowing if she was going to do it she would have to do it now.

"You go on without me."

Ginny turned, confusion painting her features.

"Won't you be late for Blaise?"

"I have to...do something first," Luna replied, wishing she felt calmer than she sounded.

Leaving Ginny behind, the blonde-haired girl dashed down the hall towards the staircase that led down to the main floor and the doors to the dungeons. She thought of Blaise, of mistletoe of Gregory Smarmy and of Blibbering Humdingers.

But most of all, she thought of how much she liked Draco Malfoy and how silly she was for not having known it all this time.

She decided it had to be the Nargles.

Luna rounded the corner and dashed down the dungeon stairs, glad that no one was about just yet. Either they were all at the final feast or they had not yet left their dormitory. The dress robes that had seemed so perfect moments before were now only slowing down her progress. But Luna believed in fate and she knew that if she was meant to see Draco, she would. It was a lucky thing that she believed it because just as she neared the entrance to the Slytherin common rooms she heard two very unwelcome voices.

"It's mental is what it is," Daphne was saying.

Luna would have recognized that voice anywhere; it had mocked her more times than she cared to admit.

"Well, I think you're the only girl in Slytherin House who wouldn't drop everything for Blaise Zabini. Too bad he's gone mad and is chasing after some Ravenclaw tail."

"He'll tire of Loony Lovegood soon enough. She can't be _that_ great in bed."

The hallway was filled with the echoes of the Greengrass sisters' giggles and Luna felt her face burning as she pressed herself against the walls, hoping to hide in the shadows as she listened.

"Theo dumped Pansy just last night and already she's chasing after Malfoy! And what's worse, he's going to fall right back into her arms which is insane. She cheated on him with Blaise and she's good enough to date and yet_ I'm_ not?"

Luna chose that moment to reveal herself, lifting her chin high and thanking the stars that because they thought she was crazy, they would think nothing of the fact that she was there, near the common room, acting like she belonged there.

"Hello, ladies," she said with a dreamy smile.

The Greengrass sisters stared at Luna and then each other in silent shock for a few seconds.

"You lost?" Daphne said mockingly. "I know you wander around the castle confused most of the time but I've never seen you here. Blaise already went upstairs, by the way."

Luna nodded ignoring Daphne's sour tone.

"Thank you but I was actually looking for Draco?"

Astoria smirked, raising one perfectly groomed brow.

"Why, Loony, are you trying to be friends with _all_ the Slytherins now? Last I checked we didn't associate with blood traitors."

Luna refused to react to their baiting comments; it was the best comeback, she had learned a long time ago, because girls as nasty as Astoria and Daphne _wanted_ a reaction. She did not look away from the lovely sisters and did not take their bait, leaving both slightly astounded. Instead, she offered another smile.

"Actually, we had a small misunderstanding and I'd like to clear a few things up."

Luna voice was calmer than the wild hammering of her heart and Luna was glad for it.

"Might I ask where he could be?"

Daphne rolled her eyes in a disgusted fashion.

"Get in line, Loony. He's run off with Parkinson just now. Perhaps a lover's tryst somewhere? They did sneak out the back way. He's got horrible taste."

Luna gazed back at the disgruntled Slytherin girl, feeling her heart plummeting.

_I knew it; he always did want Pansy, didn't he? Nothing's changed._

But Luna knew things were different. She cared now. Suddenly, she felt more out of place than she had since the beginning of the school year. She was hated by the Slytherin girls. She was unsure of Blaise's intentions. And worst of all, Draco Malfoy had never esteemed her at all, no matter what she had believed only moments before.

"Well, I suppose I'll go now," she found herself saying. "Happy Christmas!"

As she turned, she heard Daphne respond.

"Don't think you'll ever be one of us, Loony."

Luna turned, frowning just a bit.

"Oh, I don't think I ever _could_ be."

Then she was gone, leaving the two girls to wonder at what she had meant.

* * *

Hogsmeade was less crowded on days where Hogwarts students were not about. The streets were clear of snow and the shops were full of light and last minute shoppers. The sun was just beginning to set beyond the dark hills and the lights from within shops cast a cheery glow on the pathways that weaved throughout the village.

Draco and Pansy were moving along the line of shops, physically together but emotionally miles apart. Each was deep in their own miserable thoughts. Most students were packing for their holiday or getting ready for the final feast of the year. Some would leave in the morning before the Quidditch match and others would leave shortly after the game was over. Still others were planning on staying at school over the winter break.

Pansy and Draco - against their better judgment and at risk of getting caught - had snuck out of the castle just after their last lesson, moving along the path by the side of the castle that led to the main road into Hogsmeade. Draco did not want to face his classmates at the feast and Pansy hadn't left his side since that early afternoon. And so they found themselves among a jovial group of Christmas shoppers.

Draco was cold; he was hoping Pansy would stop pacing and decide what she wanted to do but the dark-haired girl had been infuriatingly silent. She hadn't even told him how or when her breakup with Theo had happened!

_Not that it matters at all._

Pansy had dragged him from store to store, buying three boxes of chocoballs and a few Sugar Quills from Honeydukes, some sort of gadget from Zonko's and then to the Three Broomsticks for something to drink. Now, laden down with parcels, she dragged him towards Gladrags, muttering something about 'her daddy's money'.

Pansy was childish and clingy when she was hurting. She was careless and mindless. But still she was Pansy - his Pansy. But even as Draco told himself all this and tried to make himself feel the way he had about her only a year before, he felt an odd lump rise up in his throat.

_It isn't the same; everything's changed. _

Pansy turned, standing in the doorway of Gladrags with a pout.

"Aren't you coming in? I need advice on at least three different robes in there. I still haven't spent my extra holiday money and I'll need a new dress for daddy's work party next week."

Draco nodded woodenly. As he entered the large store images of a _different_ girl in her father's coat and a too big jumper kept dancing in his mind and his heart ached with each beat.

* * *

Luna knew the ever-changing tunnels and pathways within Hogwarts Castle. Many students were not astute enough or simply did not care to pick up on the way the castle changed so often, and the way staircases seemed to appear and shift without rhyme or reason. But Luna, having been alone most of her time at Hogwarts, had paid attention. She knew that there were ways to enter and exit the castle without the professors knowing. She knew that if you tickled the painting on the east side of the ground floor it would reveal a stairway that led down past the kitchens and out to the side courtyard nearest to the path that led to Hogsmeade.

She had found herself in that side courtyard just at sunset, breathing in the cold winter air and watching as the sun made the crunchy layer of snow glitter as if it was laden with a million jewels. She was certain that snow had magical properties; they just hadn't been discovered yet!

Only an hour before, Luna had watched the sun set slowly and the moon rise to begin its trek across the darkening sky. And she had seen Draco in the distance, against the snow-white hills, moving along the path that led to Hogsmeade, his black winter cloak a smear on the white world around him. Pansy had walked at his side, her arm around his waist in a gesture of affection. They had both seemed oblivious to the world around them.

_And it's for the best, _Luna thought, her heart still beating as painfully as it had when she had first seen them, over an hour ago. She watched the snowy nightscape for a few, curious moments.

_Even I can't really believe I was a better match for him, can I?_

Still her heart beat oddly within her, each beat a reminder of her silent disappointment.

Draco had told her she was different. He had challenged her to think about whether or not she could become what Blaise wanted. He had reminded her of what she would have to do to be Slytherin, all to win the affections of a boy Luna had realized – too late – she didn't even want.

_He loves Pansy; that's the only reason he hates Blaise. Now things will be right again._

As she hung her head, Luna heard Draco's words in her mind again.

_Everything was fine until you showed up, Lovegood! You're the one who messed everything up! How could anyone think that a Slytherin would ever go for someone like you?_

Her eyes burned with unshed tears and as she disappeared around a corner and towards Ravenclaw Tower, Luna thought how ironic it was that it was just the _wrong_ Slytherin.

_Blaise isn't the wrong one! He's the first boy that ever made me feel anything at all. That has to mean something!_

The words echoed in her mind but Luna knew that they didn't reach her heart, where it mattered the most.

* * *

Draco first saw it lying within a case at the back of the store while Pansy was in the changing room trying on the sixth dress she had chosen from the racks in the front. Gladrags normally only sold clothing but on occasion the cases were filled with antique jewelry, baubles and some strange Muggle items like watches.

He usually had no interest in such things but because boredom had quickly won out he began to wander the items to pass the time.

The tiny necklace lay nestled within a green, velvet box and what caught his eye was its strange, glittering stone.

Draco was staring at it when the shopkeeper approached, wearing a smile.

"It's rather unique, if I say so myself."

With a flourish, he opened the case and placed the box on the counter, motioning Draco to take a closer look. The charm was a well-detailed mermaid holding a stone which sparkled much brighter than it should have in the dim shop lighting.

For a moment Draco couldn't breathe because he was suddenly next to Luna again, watching her beautiful face as she whispered to him, telling him stories of her mother. He thought of her hunting for Selkies along the shores of Scotland and his eyes watered.

"They say the stone is Selkish but I don't right now," the shopkeeper was saying. "It's beautiful anyway, no matter the stories."

Draco nearly snatched the precious bauble. It was perfect! It was-

_Perfect? What is it perfect for, you foolish sod? Is it perfect for a girl who doesn't want you? Is it the perfect reminder of what you didn't know you wanted until you lost it?_

"How much do you want for it?" he found himself asking.

It didn't matter that he had lost Luna, when a gift was perfect, it was _perfect._

"Well, I reckon it would fetch a pretty price."

"My father is Lucius Malfoy; how much do you want for it?"

The box was wrapped and tucked into Draco's robe pockets long before Pansy emerged with a stack of material on both arms. As she admired several rather girly, filmy dresses, Draco managed to snatch a bright sapphire comb that went with several of them. He paid for it while she continued to try on an endless line of clothing.

At some point, they found themselves standing outside the shop, the moon high above them, offering an eerie light.

"Thank you for coming with me today," Pansy said softly.

Draco could only gaze at her face for a few moments before looking away. There were no more pretenses; she looked so small and hurt. Instead, he chose to look towards the castle, dreading the moment they would have to return. The feast would just be beginning; soon they would be noticed as missing.

"Like I said before, I _am_ sorry about what happened."

"I know you are."

He could feel Pansy's gaze but could not return it. Somehow it seemed odd, wanting someone else when the one person he had wanted for so long was standing right in front of him. He heard her sigh and put down her parcels. A few moments later she slipped a small box into his hands.

"Happy Christmas, Draco. Don't open it until you're with your family."

She was smiling up at him and it was one of her old, familiar smiles - the ones that had made him feel like he was the only boy in the world. Now, he only felt sad. Slowly he felt around in his pockets, touching the tiny box that held the Selkie necklace and finally finding the blue comb he had bought her.

"Happy Christmas, Pansy," he said handing her a box, much to her delight. "You might want to open that soon; it's to wear with the dress you bought for your father's party."

Then he felt her warmth and the strength of her arms around him. He breathed in the familiar scent of her sweet jasmine perfume and felt the softness of her hair. And when she pressed her warm lips to the corner of his lips, Draco didn't flinch. But neither did his heart react because Pansy no longer held it the way she once had.

_But this is right. This is the way it should have been all along. All the things that happened couldn't be helped and now things are right again._

Draco told himself these words over and over, knowing that in his heart, where it mattered the most, he did not believe them.


End file.
